Amazing Research Papers!
The worst part about being a teacher is the grading. You would think that grading college level papers would mean that you actually get to grade COLLEGE LEVEL PAPERS, but this ideal is a sad delusion that has rarely been achieved. Sometimes I stare in wonder at the absolute morbid beauty of a particularly disastrous attempt...like now. Here are some actual excerpts from a paper that I received:
"He followed her around for forty days and frothy nights." Mmm gotta love those frothy nights...
"Some folktales talk about morels and others talk about gold." See, now, I never ran into those folktales that focused on mushrooms...
"Some stories tell of a much gentler will o' the wisp that leads brave souls to giant treasures that they were grading." I always thought they were guarding them, but heck, why not grade them? I give this treasure heap an A+ for gold, jewels, silver cups, and platinum plates!
"A more logical expiation for the light is what is called Ignis Fatuous, or false fire." How does one make amends for the light? *ponders*
"They were all built in the medieval time period when almost all of Europe was under the futile system of government." Funny, I was under the impression that this phrase described ALL forms of government...
"The surf worked the land for the nobleman in turn for protection from invaders." Wow, that's great! Tame the ocean for your own uses!
"It has obvious satiric advantage, but the invading army could sit outside the door and starve the castle to death." I think/hope he meant strategic advantage, but hey, satiric works for me! Also, I really hate those living castles that hog all the food, so I'm glad to hear that an army can starve it when necessary.
Ok, anybody want to guess what this paper received for a grade?
"He followed her around for forty days and frothy nights." Mmm gotta love those frothy nights...
"Some folktales talk about morels and others talk about gold." See, now, I never ran into those folktales that focused on mushrooms...
"Some stories tell of a much gentler will o' the wisp that leads brave souls to giant treasures that they were grading." I always thought they were guarding them, but heck, why not grade them? I give this treasure heap an A+ for gold, jewels, silver cups, and platinum plates!
"A more logical expiation for the light is what is called Ignis Fatuous, or false fire." How does one make amends for the light? *ponders*
"They were all built in the medieval time period when almost all of Europe was under the futile system of government." Funny, I was under the impression that this phrase described ALL forms of government...
"The surf worked the land for the nobleman in turn for protection from invaders." Wow, that's great! Tame the ocean for your own uses!
"It has obvious satiric advantage, but the invading army could sit outside the door and starve the castle to death." I think/hope he meant strategic advantage, but hey, satiric works for me! Also, I really hate those living castles that hog all the food, so I'm glad to hear that an army can starve it when necessary.
Ok, anybody want to guess what this paper received for a grade?
posted by Kira | 5:24 AM
2 Comments:
Hoho! This brought back memories. I am reading old posts, so you may never see this comment, but this reminded me of a paper a student wrote for me about Jason and his Gold Fleas.
Well, "Hoss" referred you so you are going to get a lot of blog readers! Funny.
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