A Big Mix of Everything

This blog will be a series of random musings. Follow if you dare!

Sometimes my children amuse me way too much. I guess that's why I'd love to have more. I don't know what folks do at my age who don't have kids; truly, there are many mornings when I wake up and tumble out of bed realizing that my purpose is to raise my kids. I don't know what I'd do without that sense of direction.

When Jared was not even two, I showed him a picture of himself surrounded by two other children from his mommy's morning out program. He stared at the picture and correctly identified all members of the photo. They were as follows: Not Jared, Jared, and Not Jared. Haha! Yes, his self-esteem is firm and solid.

I believe in teaching children the medically correct terms for their body parts. Sometimes, however, this backfires. For instance, once upon a time when Ariana was two she decided to announce in a screamingly loud voice in a restaurant: "Mommy! Did you know I have a HOLE in my VAGINA???" This astounding news of great import caused many folks there in the restaurant to drop their silverware. I couldn't stop laughing.

But then there was the time that Ariana and I were in the public restroom and she was three. "Mommy, you have HAIR on your vagina and I don't have hair on MINE!" she shrieked gleefully. I could hear the snickers all up and down the bathroom area. I'm pretty sure that was the incident that had me contemplating for the first time just shaving it all off...

So then I decide, wouldn't it be better to shave off the bottom part anyway? During that time of the month, wouldn't it be far less messy? After doing just that, I head over to my GYN for my pap. "Well," I tell her, "It looks like a freaking mustache now. I think I need to either let it all grow back or shave it all off." It was the 'freaking mustache' part that made her lose it. The nurse slapped a hand over her mouth and started to laugh too. Oh well!

My son also has a facination with his penis. This situation is normal for a boy, I know. However, he publically has periodic announcements related to it just like Ariana. Once, I had to take him with me to school. After class, he starts clutching at his crotch. My son at the time was just three, so of course I asked him, "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" like any good mom would. My son shook his head no. "No! I just like holding my penis!" he shouts out with glee. The kids howled, thinking that was just plain hilarious.

And over Christmas, at four years of age, he is taking a bath and talking to himself. He has a small bucket that he likes to fill and pour out, fill and pour out. He is pouring it out and he says, "It's raining!" I smile and nod. Then he takes the washcloth and places it over his lap, covering his crotch. Pouring the water over his legs at that point, he says solemnly, "Penis needs an umbrella!" I couldn't help but laugh. He glared at me. Apparently, this was a very serious matter!

One of my ultra conservative students, Will, jokes around with me constantly. We have a mutual adoration for each other even though he's just right of attila the hun and I have some "shocking" views to him such as wanting there to be at least a civil union allowed for same sex relationships. I had told him some of these tales, and he told me, "That's what you get for teaching your children the proper names for their genitalia!" I laughed and responded, "What? You think it would have been BETTER for Jared to shout out in class, "I just like holding my pee pee?" I asked. He laughed, agreeing that perhaps that actually would not be much better.

And now, thinking of Will....makes me think of politics and the huge political debates we constantly have. I'm pondering now something I read yesterday that perplexed me. An independent journalist organization that has no ties to either liberals or conservatives released percentages on positive versus negative news coverage for Bush vs. Kerry. This same group released a while back the same stats on Bush vs. Gore. What confuses me is that there was more positive press about Kerry than Bush, and more negative stuff put out about Bush than Kerry. However, for the 2000 elections, there was more positive stuff put out for Bush, and more negative stuff put out for Gore. This last time, conservatives can just whine, look it's the liberal media! But what about that first time? Why on EARTH would the press favor Kerry over Gore? Why would the media want Bush to beat Gore, but not Kerry? If I had to choose for one of those two (Kerry vs. Gore) to be president, it'd be Gore. Sure, he has the personality of a piece of stale bread, but he has beliefs that he stands up for and doesn't waffle like Kerry. I dunno. I find that the less I worry about politics, the happier I am. So why can't I just be another dumb ass american who doesn't vote and doesn't read up on this stuff? Ignorance is bliss, after all. It's like after that time I read about the push polls that Karl Rove did in SC to get Bush over McCain elected in the Republican primaries for 2000. I have never registered as either a republican or a democrat because I prefer to look at the individual and not the party (plus, let's face it, both the republicans and the democrats plain suck...). However, if I had voted in the republican primaries, I'd have voted for McCain over Bush in a heartbeat. But... Rove and his push polls...he had his minions call up voters in SC and ask them things like (no I'm not making this up): "Would you be more or less likely to vote for McCain if you found out that he was a homosexual?" "Would you be more or less likely to vote for McCain if you found out he had an illegitimate child?" Ok, for the record, McCain is heterosexual and has fathered no known illegitimate children. Since the pollsters weren't SAYING he was homosexual, etc, they can get away with it. The defense: "We just were asking if that sort of info would affect their choices." Great. But it leaves those polled with the idea that McCain had things hiding in his closet...Rove used this technique after McCain won New Hampshire. I guess he couldn't have McCain win anymore. Bleh. Pardon me while I barf. I'm trying SO HARD to stay away from political books and sites now as I can't stand to learn anymore. I want to be dumb. I want to be ignorant. It's just easier that way. I know so many people who never read a paper or look for information about the world on the net, and they just are plain happier than I am! What is it about me that can't stop from opening up Pandora's Box? And all that was left was hope...well, that I've got aplenty at least.

Hope. And see, we switch topics once again.

When you have crap relationships ONLY in your whole life, some part of you still thinks there's hope for a good one. I hoped and hoped and hoped, and lo, it looks like I have one. So perhaps Pandora shut that box just in time. I have a second chance at life. Let's hope I don't blow it.

Classic Alex lines: "Here's all you need to know: men are stupid and women are crazy. But the main reason why women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Or my other favorite...

"Yes, all men are assholes. That's why I'm a lesbian."

And another good one...when we were at a water theme park, I asked him, "Why aren't you staring at all these tiny bikini 19 and 20 year olds who haven't had children and hence have flat stomachs?"

His response, after blinking in amazement, "You mean....there are other WOMEN here?" The best part was that he meant it! hahahaha! God I love Alex.

And last night...while I made dinner he got the bedroom all set up...rosepetals and candles and Fun Toys and the works....two hours later, everybody happy...my god...I was so sad to see him back off to USC this am!

Ok, rambling mode off!