Amazing
So, here is the background: Ariana had a boyfriend named Adam. She had had a boyfriend named Andrew for a year and a half, and he was a sweetheart to her. Then they split up as 10 yr olds can do, and within two weeks this boy named Adam asked her to be his girlfriend. I called that one to Ariana because I've seen Adam moon over her for two years. She told Adam that I had predicted it, and he thought I was horribly smart for seeing that coming.
Adam is a funny as hell kid, and he's really smart, too. He's in the Quest (gifted) program with my daughter at school. But he's always been an underachiever. Like some smart kids, he balks at anything too hard and insists that he can't do it. Last year, he was on the A-B honor roll instead of the A honor roll because that's what he can do with absolutely no effort. This part frustrated Ariana, but otherwise they had a lot in common and she loved being adored by him. He drew her cute cartoons about her being his dream woman, and he made her little animals out of beads and such. His family has suffered some deep financial hardships, so Adam found his own creative ways to show Ari how much he cared without spending money that they don't have. She appreciated all of that.
But then early last fall, she became too agitated about Adam's lack of motivation at school. Plus, she told me she couldn't stand it when he was in Quest and would just state firmly that he couldn't do whatever project it was without even trying. It got to her to the point that she decided it was time to break up with him. She said something about them not having similar goals in life even though they had a lot of other stuff in common, and I wondered where she ever got so wise. I have girlfriends who can't figure that shit out even after they get married to the guy in question. Go Ari!
When she broke up with him, he asked her why. She flat out told him exactly what she already told me. She didn't give him some nonsense to spare his feelings or to give him false hope or anything--she's MY girl, so she tells it like it is. Adam said he understood. And they remained friends.
Well, then Adam did an amazing thing. He started studying in school. He started trying really hard in Quest. Now, Ari didn't ask him to do this. She didn't say, "And if you change all of this, we'll be back together." She just flat out told him: this frustrates me about you, and since I can't deal with it, we're done. So, I feel like Adam is also way wiser than your average male twice his age. He listened to the girl he loved, and rather than making any promises he may or may not have kept, he just went out and made the changes he knew he needed to do for both her as well as him anyway. He kept it up continuously for months. Shoot, I figure his mom must want to take Ari home right now as it stands...haha! Ari noted this to me--wow, Mom, Adam's getting straight As. He's trying really hard. You won't believe how cool X project was that he did or Y paper that he wrote.
So, now today it was Valentine's Day for the kids at school. My daughter received five carnations from Adam and a tiny little puppy that squeeks out with a tiny bark, "I love you!" Please understand his family's financial situation--this was everything he had or could possibly get. Ari was stunned, and she told him there was no need to apologize when he told her that he wanted to get her more but this was all he had. She was very, very touched.
When she came in with the carnations into the car, each one had a tag on it that said something along the same theme:
1) Come back!
2) SOS...come back!
3) I screwed up! Come back!
4) Please come back!
5) Please please come back (and then an arrow that shows she is to turn over the paper, and the back side says...) I really sound pathetic, don't I?
Awwww! He drew a picture of himself looking downcast on one of them, too. He's a good artist.
I asked Ari how all of this made her feel. "It feels GREAT!" she said, which was perhaps not quite the amount of empathy I wanted her to feel. But then she said that she was considering getting back together with him since all that bothered her about Adam was gone. And any guy who worships my daughter that much is welcome to a second chance without me beating him within an inch of his life, too!
Adam is a funny as hell kid, and he's really smart, too. He's in the Quest (gifted) program with my daughter at school. But he's always been an underachiever. Like some smart kids, he balks at anything too hard and insists that he can't do it. Last year, he was on the A-B honor roll instead of the A honor roll because that's what he can do with absolutely no effort. This part frustrated Ariana, but otherwise they had a lot in common and she loved being adored by him. He drew her cute cartoons about her being his dream woman, and he made her little animals out of beads and such. His family has suffered some deep financial hardships, so Adam found his own creative ways to show Ari how much he cared without spending money that they don't have. She appreciated all of that.
But then early last fall, she became too agitated about Adam's lack of motivation at school. Plus, she told me she couldn't stand it when he was in Quest and would just state firmly that he couldn't do whatever project it was without even trying. It got to her to the point that she decided it was time to break up with him. She said something about them not having similar goals in life even though they had a lot of other stuff in common, and I wondered where she ever got so wise. I have girlfriends who can't figure that shit out even after they get married to the guy in question. Go Ari!
When she broke up with him, he asked her why. She flat out told him exactly what she already told me. She didn't give him some nonsense to spare his feelings or to give him false hope or anything--she's MY girl, so she tells it like it is. Adam said he understood. And they remained friends.
Well, then Adam did an amazing thing. He started studying in school. He started trying really hard in Quest. Now, Ari didn't ask him to do this. She didn't say, "And if you change all of this, we'll be back together." She just flat out told him: this frustrates me about you, and since I can't deal with it, we're done. So, I feel like Adam is also way wiser than your average male twice his age. He listened to the girl he loved, and rather than making any promises he may or may not have kept, he just went out and made the changes he knew he needed to do for both her as well as him anyway. He kept it up continuously for months. Shoot, I figure his mom must want to take Ari home right now as it stands...haha! Ari noted this to me--wow, Mom, Adam's getting straight As. He's trying really hard. You won't believe how cool X project was that he did or Y paper that he wrote.
So, now today it was Valentine's Day for the kids at school. My daughter received five carnations from Adam and a tiny little puppy that squeeks out with a tiny bark, "I love you!" Please understand his family's financial situation--this was everything he had or could possibly get. Ari was stunned, and she told him there was no need to apologize when he told her that he wanted to get her more but this was all he had. She was very, very touched.
When she came in with the carnations into the car, each one had a tag on it that said something along the same theme:
1) Come back!
2) SOS...come back!
3) I screwed up! Come back!
4) Please come back!
5) Please please come back (and then an arrow that shows she is to turn over the paper, and the back side says...) I really sound pathetic, don't I?
Awwww! He drew a picture of himself looking downcast on one of them, too. He's a good artist.
I asked Ari how all of this made her feel. "It feels GREAT!" she said, which was perhaps not quite the amount of empathy I wanted her to feel. But then she said that she was considering getting back together with him since all that bothered her about Adam was gone. And any guy who worships my daughter that much is welcome to a second chance without me beating him within an inch of his life, too!
posted by Kira | 12:35 PM
12 Comments:
I hope you told Ari that you didn't approve of her emotional response and punished her accordingly.
Well, if he worships your daughter, then he's obviously in the top tier of his age/grade level. I kinda hope she takes him back!
Grant--well, you know I beat my children regularly. So I'm sure it's covered.
Laurita--I kinda do too! He's so adorable with how he acts and reacts around her. She's been cuddling the little puppy and carrying it around with her all evening, so I guess that's a good sign.
Well, the entire time I'd reading this, I'm thinking of Matthew. Yes, he's smart. No, he doesn't care if anyone knows he's smart. HOWEVER, he's had a change of heart recently. True, it's probably because he and I have started making contracts about what he can get if he does his best. (A fine example - the Guitar Hero World Tour I just bought him) But I also think it's because he feels a lot better about himself now. It's as if he's not scared to try something and fail. He used to be scared of failure and not living up to Anna's example. His new art teacher has recognized his talent and has been complimenting the symbolism in his art. (He's done a series on the futility of war, apparently.) Anyway, he was telling me that all of his art has ALWAYS had symbolism in it. So, I asked what the snowman drawings he used to do in Kindergarten represented. With so much as a pause, he said, "Oh, that was foreshadowing." I laughed and asked what a snowman could foreshadow. "The snowman was a symbol for the U.S. economy; of course, it eventually melted," he explained.
Anyway, I hope she takes him back. It sounds like he earned it!
So my first reaction was "Can I go out with your daughter?" :) My second, more considered but prolly not considered long enough reaction was that your daughter is just like you, and perhaps she shouldn't get back together with, um, that guy.
What a sweet story. It actually made me smile, so thank you for that!
Awwww, how adorable! Ethan frustrates me by doing the same things that Adam does. He'll say he can't do something or ask for help before he's even tried to do it. It drives me NUTS!
Last night was a perfect example. The SOL testing is coming soon and the teacher is giving them worksheets on things they've already done, for review. Ethan knows how to do EVERYTHING on those worksheets. Out of 20 problems on the worksheet, 4 he didn't do because he said he didn't know how to do them and 7 he got completely wrong because he said he "forgot" how to do them...but then when I looked at him and said, "Ethan, I KNOW you know how to do these problems and this is unacceptable. Now please fix the ones you got wrong and do the ones you left blank." within 5 minutes, all 11 problems were done correctly and he didn't even need my help. DAMN that shit pisses me off so badly. I told him that he's too smart to do such careless work and to not even try is just ridiculous. Maybe Ari needs to come to VA and whip his ass into shape like she did to Adam?
Holy cow, that would be an amazing story even for a 30-year-old couple. I'm speechless!
It would appear that Ari has this young man well trained! i wonder who gets that from.....
Off topic me old china but go to www.wednesdaywanderings.blogspot.com
scroll down to the posting about Royal Engineers museum and you'll see a few pics starring yours truly!
Hi Kira, you don't know me but I saw your comment at Grant's place. Have you heard from him since the other day? He has a really odd/cryptic post up today. Some of us are a bit concerned... you can email me at samtagiou[at]gmail[dot]com if you'd like. Thank you, and -- under different circumstances this would be a lovely visit, you write beautifully :-)
Shoot, samtagious -- my keys were sticking, sorry *blush*
That's such a sweet story - I wish I would have had that wisdom in my 20s!
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