Roomates are Evil
I have had the worst luck in my life with roomates. I was reminded of this fact when I just read this morning a post by Laura that involved the idea of not REALLY wanting roomates, although she knew it would be financially wise. I understand. I'm broke right now, and if I took on a roomate, I could save some money. However, then the kids would be with the ex and I would be in jail for murder...because I always get the most crazed roomates a human being could receive.
Even though I had three siblings, I lucked out. My brothers got to share a room; my sister and I had our own. I never had to actually SHARE a room until I went off to Duke (god I hope Hof is not reading today...haha!). I realized that living in a room for a year with another woman could be a nightmare, so I thought I'd be smart and request a girl I had met at this summer program at Duke the previous year. We had gotten along, so I thought it'd be easy.
No, actually, it was a bitch. See, I lived with her a few weeks and she became angry that I had a life outside of her. She told me one night that a roomate would have dinner with her every night and go to bed at the same time as her every night. Hello? HELLO? We aren't dating? In fact, I was dating a guy at the time, and she seemed jealous of him. It was the ex, actually. The ex invited me to his house for the weekend in rural nowhere SC, and I said sure. I thought I would be nice and give my roomie my number there in case there was an emergency and told her when I was leaving and when I would come back. When I got back, she was FURIOUS with me. You see, some guy asked her out that weekend and she was so nervous she went to the bathroom and threw up. "And you weren't HERE for me!" she screamed. Uhhh...
So, I discussed the situation with housing and they moved me into another dorm.
Unfortunately, they moved me in to an open spot with a girl...who already had her roomate move out on her.
This girl, Jill, was an attractive blonde with the personality of an old shoe. She was also a lesbian. That didn't bother me. I mean, just because a guy is heterosexual doesn't mean he wants down my pants, and I felt I wasn't Jill's type, so I went about my business as normal. However, I was wrong and she asked me out after a few months. I turned her down politely, pointing out to her that I had a significant other already, and decided that would nip that one in the bud. No...she was upset with me, so whenever a guy friend called me or stopped by and I wasn't there, she would never give me the message. She'd give me all the messages from the GIRLS who were friends who would stop by though. Frustrating! I complained to my guy friends...can anybody guess their response? Remember, now, these are GUYS...
...all four or five guy friends I complained to only processed the "hot lesbian asked her out" part, and so the immediate response was, "Well, if you change your mind, can we watch????"
I wasn't going to be able to move out a second time in one year, so I gave up and just stuck there. The next year, I thought I'd move in with my closest female friend there, Sarah. We got along GREAT! We'd be FINE, right?
Well, the summer before I went back to school for my second year, her boyfriend broke up with her and she went on total freakout mode. She lost 30 lbs as she wouldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She sobbed constantly...uh oh.
So we moved in. It started almost immediately. I was not allowed to go out on a date with my boyfriend alone. She had to come too. If I did something with friends without her, she was angry. Very angry. I began to see a side of herself I guess she had saved for her boyfriend, and now I got because I was the closest thing to her. She, on two separate occasions, got so angry at me for going out and doing something without her that she threw objects at my head. One of those objects narrowly missed. It was a thick, heavy, hardback school textbook. I was stunned. Then she started sobbing on me. "Oh, all our friends love you more!" I wonder why.... "Oh, you are more talented than me! No wonder men want you!" uhhhh... "You will leave me, and I will kill myself!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
She really did threaten to kill herself if I left, and it was no idyll threat. She described to me the entire method of how she'd do it, a well-thought out plan indeed. Now, as concerned as I was to not have her off herself over me, I also was losing my mind living with her. I felt that I couldn't sacrifice myself on her altar in order to keep her alive, so I went to the psychological services at Duke and explained them the situation. They told me to get out, and we had her name put on a special list so that if she ever called, she'd get an immediate emergency appointment.
Side note: ask Joe how much fun Sarah is to live with. He was in a house with her with a bunch of my friends. Woof.
So I moved out. And then, I moved into the worst situation ever. In fact, it was so bad that I don't even feel like having the energy to describe it. From there I moved out into my own apartment (with boyfriend), and that was that. I decided the firm and fast law of Kira:
If I did not give birth to it nor am sleeping with it, it may not live with me.
I have kept that rule forever onwards, and stick to it to this day, even though it makes life financially harder!
Even though I had three siblings, I lucked out. My brothers got to share a room; my sister and I had our own. I never had to actually SHARE a room until I went off to Duke (god I hope Hof is not reading today...haha!). I realized that living in a room for a year with another woman could be a nightmare, so I thought I'd be smart and request a girl I had met at this summer program at Duke the previous year. We had gotten along, so I thought it'd be easy.
No, actually, it was a bitch. See, I lived with her a few weeks and she became angry that I had a life outside of her. She told me one night that a roomate would have dinner with her every night and go to bed at the same time as her every night. Hello? HELLO? We aren't dating? In fact, I was dating a guy at the time, and she seemed jealous of him. It was the ex, actually. The ex invited me to his house for the weekend in rural nowhere SC, and I said sure. I thought I would be nice and give my roomie my number there in case there was an emergency and told her when I was leaving and when I would come back. When I got back, she was FURIOUS with me. You see, some guy asked her out that weekend and she was so nervous she went to the bathroom and threw up. "And you weren't HERE for me!" she screamed. Uhhh...
So, I discussed the situation with housing and they moved me into another dorm.
Unfortunately, they moved me in to an open spot with a girl...who already had her roomate move out on her.
This girl, Jill, was an attractive blonde with the personality of an old shoe. She was also a lesbian. That didn't bother me. I mean, just because a guy is heterosexual doesn't mean he wants down my pants, and I felt I wasn't Jill's type, so I went about my business as normal. However, I was wrong and she asked me out after a few months. I turned her down politely, pointing out to her that I had a significant other already, and decided that would nip that one in the bud. No...she was upset with me, so whenever a guy friend called me or stopped by and I wasn't there, she would never give me the message. She'd give me all the messages from the GIRLS who were friends who would stop by though. Frustrating! I complained to my guy friends...can anybody guess their response? Remember, now, these are GUYS...
...all four or five guy friends I complained to only processed the "hot lesbian asked her out" part, and so the immediate response was, "Well, if you change your mind, can we watch????"
I wasn't going to be able to move out a second time in one year, so I gave up and just stuck there. The next year, I thought I'd move in with my closest female friend there, Sarah. We got along GREAT! We'd be FINE, right?
Well, the summer before I went back to school for my second year, her boyfriend broke up with her and she went on total freakout mode. She lost 30 lbs as she wouldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She sobbed constantly...uh oh.
So we moved in. It started almost immediately. I was not allowed to go out on a date with my boyfriend alone. She had to come too. If I did something with friends without her, she was angry. Very angry. I began to see a side of herself I guess she had saved for her boyfriend, and now I got because I was the closest thing to her. She, on two separate occasions, got so angry at me for going out and doing something without her that she threw objects at my head. One of those objects narrowly missed. It was a thick, heavy, hardback school textbook. I was stunned. Then she started sobbing on me. "Oh, all our friends love you more!" I wonder why.... "Oh, you are more talented than me! No wonder men want you!" uhhhh... "You will leave me, and I will kill myself!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
She really did threaten to kill herself if I left, and it was no idyll threat. She described to me the entire method of how she'd do it, a well-thought out plan indeed. Now, as concerned as I was to not have her off herself over me, I also was losing my mind living with her. I felt that I couldn't sacrifice myself on her altar in order to keep her alive, so I went to the psychological services at Duke and explained them the situation. They told me to get out, and we had her name put on a special list so that if she ever called, she'd get an immediate emergency appointment.
Side note: ask Joe how much fun Sarah is to live with. He was in a house with her with a bunch of my friends. Woof.
So I moved out. And then, I moved into the worst situation ever. In fact, it was so bad that I don't even feel like having the energy to describe it. From there I moved out into my own apartment (with boyfriend), and that was that. I decided the firm and fast law of Kira:
If I did not give birth to it nor am sleeping with it, it may not live with me.
I have kept that rule forever onwards, and stick to it to this day, even though it makes life financially harder!
posted by Kira | 8:51 AM
5 Comments:
I got married almost immediately after high school, but I did have time for one crazy roomie during my one and only semester as a single person. Furman was my first choice, and it was my intention to go there. But they only gave me $5000 a year in scholarship money, so I was going to have to foot the rest of the bill myself. I'd figured it all out though, so I hadn't responded to Clemson about housing. Then, surprise of surprises, Clemson offered a full four-year ride. Couldn't turn that down. But I was late on making housing arrangements, so I was stuck in what they referred to as an "overflow" room with another girl who had responded late. ROFL - it was bascially a walk in closet with bunk beds inside - no windows or anything. Roomie didn't want to come to college, but her parents had forced her. So, she spent her days in bed crying. It was very unpleasant, so I would actually go home and stay for a few days at a time to get away. (Home was only 30 minutes away, you see.) When I got back, Roomie would claim someone went through her things. I would say, "Well, no one was here but you." It ended very, very badly. Her boyfriend and B almost got in a fist fight in the room. Then, her boyfriend left me a note threatening to kill me if I ever came back to my dorm room again. I saw that as a golden opportunity... Took the note to housing and got a brand new "overflow" closet all to myself. Her boyfriend was banned from campus for all eternity. A couple of semesters later, her new roommate came to find me, just to find out if I also had gone through being accused of going through her things during my absence. The poor new roommate was African American, and it turns out that Roomie and her boyfriend were also quite racist. The new roommate and I became friends and took a couple of classes together.
As far as what happened to Roomie -I think Mommy and Daddy finally let her come back home.
Doesn't top your lesbian story though.
Wow... Now you've got me scared about my roommate at Duke. Darn you, Kira, and your evil ways! Sounds like a rather nasty set of situations, there... I guess all the freaky people just got jealous of your coolness and were drawn like moths to the flame, though :P
On the plus side, annoying roomies do make good target practice... :P
See, Angie, that's the solution to bad roomates: get married early...haha!
Amanda, your luck sounds like mine. I'm so sorry.
Ency, dear...most people at Duke didn't have my experiences with bad roomates because I HOGGED THE EVIL ONES ALL TO MYSELF!!! So, no worries ;)
The whole Pope House Experience Kira mentions generated enough roommate stories for an entire book. 5 to 7 people (8-9 if you include the apartment) for seven years is a lot. I used to tell people we just piled all the mattresses and pillows in one room and slept in common.
To me, thw worst thing about the particular situation K. mentions is that S. didn't want K. to come over at all. This was after we acceded to S's original demands, which apparently still weren't enough. But S. only lived in P.H. for a year or so.
I thought you two were over all that crap now?
Well, Joe, we ended up talking long afterwards and she told me she "wasn't mad" at me anymore,so it was ok. That was probably the last time I spoke to her, and that was a good 14 years ago. I wish her no ill will, but she was still a psycho crotch when I lived with her! haha!
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