Who's Awesome?
My daughter. That's who.
So, she did very well at that audition on the 2nd of Feb. We were told that if she were "good enough" to make the second cut, she'd have to try out again on the 23rd. We got the letter today. She does not have to try out again on the 23rd. Why, you ask?
Because she's so freakin' awesome that she's already in the damn program!!!
Ariana will be in the county-wide gifted program for drama this summer for two weeks.
I'm so excited for her that I'm not sure what to do. There's a lot of baggage attached to this particular topic that my daughter doesn't know, nor do I think it necessary for her to know because I think she'd feel pressure then to succeed FOR me. Let me give the short explanation. I always wanted to do drama, and my mom made sure I couldn't do it. See, she was afraid that if I liked it too much, I'd want to try and be an actress for a living. God forbid her daughter do something non-intellectual for a living! So, excuses were always made, lies were even told, just to keep me from being allowed to try out or do anything with theatre. Finally, in my senior year of high school, she allowed me to audition for the last two plays of the year once I had my early decision acceptance to Duke in my hands. She admitted to me many, many years later--in a moment of weakness, too, because my mother won't typically admit ever doing anything wrong--that she knew that it was "safe" to let me try out then because I hadn't built up the confidence and enjoyment with it that would make me do it in college around others who had been doing it for years (Duke has a decent drama program). She knew she had thwarted what she considered a bad career for her daughter.
One of the many, many promises I made to myself when I was pregnant that no matter what my child wanted to do, I would in no way be discouraging unless it was just something physically impossible (IE, she/he lost both legs and wanted to run in the regular Olympics). All career options were fine, regardless of status or money or education. Alex backs me up on that, which is why when Jared--who loves to wash my car with Alex, and he's very detail oriented about it too--opened up his mouth to say that he wanted to be a professional car cleaner when he grew up, we both nodded and told him he had the eye for it. The end. So, no matter what Ariana said she wanted to do or not do, I was behind her.
I just had no idea that she'd love to do drama, is all. I dunno. It almost feels like we're righting the universe here. We're correcting a tilt. She now has me telling her, if you WANT to do it, I'll support you because I KNOW you can do it. But she doesn't have me telling her she has to do it (I hate stage moms!) nor that she can't (my daughter can do damn well near anything!). Sometimes, we do get to fix things...just not in the way we expected.
****
I had my first hysterical female meltdown in class on Monday, and I was at a loss. Let me correct myself: it's not that I haven't seen a girl sniff over a bad grade, nor see a girl get anxious and panicky over a test she's just taken. I just never have had a student have a complete, total freakout to the point wherein her sobs and tears were frightening the next class coming in for whatever subject (you could see it in the students' eyes as they filed in...who IS this bitch of a teacher? Let's never take her. She makes STUDENTS CRY! haha!). The odd part is that her sobbing fit was over an 88. A grade of a B+ is not bad (esp. for me). She screamed and wailed that I had told her that her paper was crap. So, I had to ask her exactly where I did that...and of course she couldn't find those exact words on her paper because a B+ is not crap. I had just marked what she did wrong. She insisted that since I marked anything on her paper at all, that meant I thought it was crap. I then asked her if she wanted to talk to my two students who actually got papers back this last time that said "This paper sucks" on it to feel better (yes, I did do that...and have in the past...and will in the future...but those are the Ds and Fs anyway, so the kids usually figure it out by the grades. Believe it or not, the kids usually just nod, sigh, and go, you're right--I should have gotten help--and then move on). Instead, she told me that I should not expect perfection out of a paper. I said of course I don't...I don't expect perfection out of myself, either, since it's impossible. I just expect to mark off things that are wrong. So then she sobbed that she was only 19 and had just been in college for one year and so I was asking too much of her.
I wanted to tell her that I was 17 when I was off at Duke, and on the 10% of my papers that did not receive an A at that time, I did not go cry at my professors that they graded too hard or that they think ill of my writing. Never occured to me. Whatever I did, it was me. But I refrained and listened to her sob more, then demand that I fix her grade. I told her that there was nothing to fix. "I am only 19" and "You think my paper is crap" is not a reason to up a grade. A reason to up a grade is if I made a mistake while grading it. She was then astounded that I would not up her grade, and when I told her we needed to get out of the classroom so the next class could begin, she snarled between her tears, "I can't believe you won't DO anything about this!"
Why no, no I'm not.
But now I know why men want to look at women sometimes and say, "You're being irrational!" It certainly crossed my mind a kajillion times while she sobbed at me. Oh well. I guess I was overdue for a hysterical girl in one of my classes.
****
And last but not least! I'm not sure how long this will last, but I started up a blog on a topic I'm more interested in than my own life lately: food and wine.
http://levinetlepain.blogspot.com/
I can't post often on this one, so I'm not sure what makes me think I can post elsewhere. But I'm going to give it a shot!
So, she did very well at that audition on the 2nd of Feb. We were told that if she were "good enough" to make the second cut, she'd have to try out again on the 23rd. We got the letter today. She does not have to try out again on the 23rd. Why, you ask?
Because she's so freakin' awesome that she's already in the damn program!!!
Ariana will be in the county-wide gifted program for drama this summer for two weeks.
I'm so excited for her that I'm not sure what to do. There's a lot of baggage attached to this particular topic that my daughter doesn't know, nor do I think it necessary for her to know because I think she'd feel pressure then to succeed FOR me. Let me give the short explanation. I always wanted to do drama, and my mom made sure I couldn't do it. See, she was afraid that if I liked it too much, I'd want to try and be an actress for a living. God forbid her daughter do something non-intellectual for a living! So, excuses were always made, lies were even told, just to keep me from being allowed to try out or do anything with theatre. Finally, in my senior year of high school, she allowed me to audition for the last two plays of the year once I had my early decision acceptance to Duke in my hands. She admitted to me many, many years later--in a moment of weakness, too, because my mother won't typically admit ever doing anything wrong--that she knew that it was "safe" to let me try out then because I hadn't built up the confidence and enjoyment with it that would make me do it in college around others who had been doing it for years (Duke has a decent drama program). She knew she had thwarted what she considered a bad career for her daughter.
One of the many, many promises I made to myself when I was pregnant that no matter what my child wanted to do, I would in no way be discouraging unless it was just something physically impossible (IE, she/he lost both legs and wanted to run in the regular Olympics). All career options were fine, regardless of status or money or education. Alex backs me up on that, which is why when Jared--who loves to wash my car with Alex, and he's very detail oriented about it too--opened up his mouth to say that he wanted to be a professional car cleaner when he grew up, we both nodded and told him he had the eye for it. The end. So, no matter what Ariana said she wanted to do or not do, I was behind her.
I just had no idea that she'd love to do drama, is all. I dunno. It almost feels like we're righting the universe here. We're correcting a tilt. She now has me telling her, if you WANT to do it, I'll support you because I KNOW you can do it. But she doesn't have me telling her she has to do it (I hate stage moms!) nor that she can't (my daughter can do damn well near anything!). Sometimes, we do get to fix things...just not in the way we expected.
****
I had my first hysterical female meltdown in class on Monday, and I was at a loss. Let me correct myself: it's not that I haven't seen a girl sniff over a bad grade, nor see a girl get anxious and panicky over a test she's just taken. I just never have had a student have a complete, total freakout to the point wherein her sobs and tears were frightening the next class coming in for whatever subject (you could see it in the students' eyes as they filed in...who IS this bitch of a teacher? Let's never take her. She makes STUDENTS CRY! haha!). The odd part is that her sobbing fit was over an 88. A grade of a B+ is not bad (esp. for me). She screamed and wailed that I had told her that her paper was crap. So, I had to ask her exactly where I did that...and of course she couldn't find those exact words on her paper because a B+ is not crap. I had just marked what she did wrong. She insisted that since I marked anything on her paper at all, that meant I thought it was crap. I then asked her if she wanted to talk to my two students who actually got papers back this last time that said "This paper sucks" on it to feel better (yes, I did do that...and have in the past...and will in the future...but those are the Ds and Fs anyway, so the kids usually figure it out by the grades. Believe it or not, the kids usually just nod, sigh, and go, you're right--I should have gotten help--and then move on). Instead, she told me that I should not expect perfection out of a paper. I said of course I don't...I don't expect perfection out of myself, either, since it's impossible. I just expect to mark off things that are wrong. So then she sobbed that she was only 19 and had just been in college for one year and so I was asking too much of her.
I wanted to tell her that I was 17 when I was off at Duke, and on the 10% of my papers that did not receive an A at that time, I did not go cry at my professors that they graded too hard or that they think ill of my writing. Never occured to me. Whatever I did, it was me. But I refrained and listened to her sob more, then demand that I fix her grade. I told her that there was nothing to fix. "I am only 19" and "You think my paper is crap" is not a reason to up a grade. A reason to up a grade is if I made a mistake while grading it. She was then astounded that I would not up her grade, and when I told her we needed to get out of the classroom so the next class could begin, she snarled between her tears, "I can't believe you won't DO anything about this!"
Why no, no I'm not.
But now I know why men want to look at women sometimes and say, "You're being irrational!" It certainly crossed my mind a kajillion times while she sobbed at me. Oh well. I guess I was overdue for a hysterical girl in one of my classes.
****
And last but not least! I'm not sure how long this will last, but I started up a blog on a topic I'm more interested in than my own life lately: food and wine.
http://levinetlepain.blogspot.com/
I can't post often on this one, so I'm not sure what makes me think I can post elsewhere. But I'm going to give it a shot!
posted by Kira | 2:32 PM
14 Comments:
Congratulations to Ari! That is fantastic!
You know, I think you should try community theatre during the summer. Maybe you and Ari could be in a play together one day. It's never too late to run down a dream.
With the student, write down this date somewhere. If something else happens, you should probably make a report to psychological services. If she is having outbursts like that in all classes, they could find out if each prof reports it and get her some help. I didn't know we were supposed to report things like that until my situation with my "unusual" student this semester. I also didn't know FERPA requires us to ask students to write a permission letter to us granting us permission to write them recommendation letters to grad school. Looks like someone would tell us these things. Oh well.
I'm enjoying my Noir Desir CD. My professor wants me to get newer metal if you guys have any names you can recommend. I can download things from iTunes or whatever, but if you have suggestions let me know. We did La Haine by Jacques Brel this week... wicked, mean song.
Angie--Merde. You must be kidding me. We need WRITTEN PERMISSION to write a recommendation??? It's a little too damned late for that since I've written about three in my time at Clemson so far (and a few at Tech too). Writing down the date in case this outburst was not an isolated incident sounds like good advice, though. Thanks! Oh, and I just facebooked Severine (a friend of Alex's who is now my friend too) and asked her about heavy metal/hard rock groups that are really recent just in case she had recommendations. I think that Alex just hasn't lived in France for a few years now, so he's out of touch. Severine is there right now, so if she can't figure it out, I'm out of ideas!
Grad schools just had their deadlines for application, and I just wrote a ton of them... and had no clue I was supposed to get their written permission. It's the craziest thing I ever heard of! Thanks for messaging Severine! In the meantime, I posted the video for Le vent nous portera a few blog posts down on my blog if you want to check it out.
What's the Chris Rock quote?
"A man can never win an argument with a woman. We're handicapped by our need to make sense."
:D
You missed the whole point of the meltdown. She wasn't trying to make sense. The way this works (I can't believe I have to explain this to you) is that she acts girly and cries and the other person (you, in this case) relents and gives her whatever she wants, plus a pat on the head and a cookie. Next time tell her that flashing her boobs will work better on you.
Well, you certainly won't get a reputation for being "an easy A" with that kind of attitude. Shame.....
*Alex posting as Kira*
Horse: I am the easy one actually...I have even felt sorry for Kira's students and interceded on their behald before :)
Kira: I think you should have told her she could have improved her grade with $. She is obviously a spoiled brat. Probably has plently of cash.
Tell her that I am in charge of the grades in Excel and that that I accept all major credit cards.
Angie: I'll look for some more stuff but Noir Desir isn't exactly old. Sure some of thier songs are old - the group has been around a while - but the main reason they haven't made a new song in a while is because the singer was in jail for the last 4 years or so.
SC--I can't post on your blog because a virus smacked my computer and used my email for spam. Sigh. I just tried, but I wasn't surprised by the message your blog gave me because the email address was used for spam for like three days in a row before we figured out how to fix the issue. Just to let you know...
Hi Kira dear.
Yes it's been a long time since you've visited. Good to hear you're in a good place and enjoying life right now!
Congratulations on Ariana, that's fantastic news. You have every right to be happy to see the balance righted!
But, to be honest, I did drama in school and I hated it :P I don't do very well in acting and I don't like being in front of an audience!
The hysterical girl sounds well, hilarious. I'm sure it was difficult to manage, but I bet you were a cool cucumber!
You're weakening. Your response to a certain Tech student's paper was "OMG! THIS IS SHIT!" ;)
I'm so glad Ari got in. She'll have a great time.
Wow! I'm so excited for Ari. Yes, you're right, there is a certain karma -- or something -- at work here. You know, it's not too late for you to pursue your drama dreams! And speaking of drama... that student of yours! How did you keep a straight face? What's up with kids these days? Not that I wouldn't have been upset with an 88% on a paper, back in the day, but I wouldn't have demanded a "correction." For godsakes! How silly.
Angie to Alex: I think it's kinda strange that Noir Desir is "old" but Jacques Brel isn't, lol. At any rate, any ideas/suggestions are great. I think I may do one of the Canadian/Inuit singers for my first paper, just because I think that's such an interesting combination, culturally.
Angie to Kira: I'm going to send you some stuff on teaching philosophies. I plan to update mine on that site eventually, but things have been too busy so far this semester. I had good intentions... but that's as far as I got with it, lol.
Once again for Alex - Do you know anything about Lhasa de Sela? I think I may do my big project on her work. I love the gypsy influence!
Congratulations to your daughter, well done!!!
As far as the classroom its nice to get another point of view. I was the cry crying in the classroom. I thought that the world revolved around me and I could make anyone do what I wanted.
After all this was college right? Hence I dropped out because my Professor wouldn't give me an A after a theatrical performance of a lifetime!!! LOL
Post a Comment
<< Home