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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Pre-Emptive Strike

...so, recently a fellow blogger had a crisis in her life that entailed what I had thought--from all descriptions provided--was a great guy. The weirdness of her breakup disturbed me because he did so many of the nice things that Alex does for me, and I always wonder if Alex's for real because he's wonderfully different from all other men I know. It made me stare at Alex and puzzle over if one day he'd flip out for no reason. I worry about that sometimes too because my ex flipped out suddenly, and I never thought it would have ended like that. It took me forever to learn to trust Alex because I kept waiting for the day I'd wake up and he'd be screaming. It never happened. It still hasn't. Alex is very aware that this is a fear of mine, too, because I've brought it up a few times. When are you going to stop being so perfect and not annoying, I've asked him? It usually makes him smile.

So, I brooded about this other man and his actions for a couple of days. Then, as Alex was in the middle of cleaning, I turned to him and said, eyes wide with panic, oh Alex thank you for not...

...and he cut me off! And with a sly grin he said, oh Kira thank you so very much for not doing X, Y, and Z (all the things I was going to say to him, basically, except he turned it on me). Thank you for being wonderful and with me and loving, he finished up, and I stared at him and laughed. He really knows me that well at this point, and he knows how to calm me down. That was nice.

****

I will never tire of constant massage, bubble baths, flowers, and chocolate. However, the man who vacuums and mops is truly the most sexy.

****

My nine and a half year old daughter has started to have some chest development. I'm sure one day she'll be thrilled that I just blogged about this and request additional money for therapy. But anyway! I am so confused about it all. I DO NOT want teen years to come soon, and here is the first day of spring so to speak. I mean, I want my children to grow up healthy and happy, but when they do start to grow up, there's so much more to worry about. And then one day they leave. It's all so scary....

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I could say it's easy when they become teens. In some ways, it becomes this time when the little kids you've taken care of for so long suddenly become people with whom you can have really deep conversations. (Not that those conversations don't exist at all when they're little.) Sure, you have to put up with all their emotional tantrums as all those hormones kick in, but at the same time, you begin to see the adults they will become. Sometimes they make mistakes... and sometimes those mistakes hurt you. Even worse, sometimes those mistakes really, really hurt them. It's a time when you have to let them make their own decisions about problems to which you already know the answers. Sometimes it's SCARY. Sometimes it's fun. But all the time, you'll be in awe of the fact that all you were teaching them while they were little is somehow helping them grow into adults now, no matter how challenging the metamorphisis time period might be. Above all else, even if they get made at you on some days and threaten to move as a soon as they turn 18, know they won't really ever be truly leaving you because you've given them so much love.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Metamorphosis, not isis... I think my ability to spell has completely disappeared now. =o(

9:00 AM  
Blogger NWJR said...

I should leave a thoughtful post, but it would probably just turn out cynical. I think you're going to be fine--you caught one of the good ones from the sounds of things.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dadada dada dada {Empire Strikes back tune :P)

Dearest, you are really wonderful and I love you. Perhaps the best reason why we work as a couple is that both of us feel that the other is too good to be true, and that we don't deserve him/her. I love you endlessly.

And I promise that if I am at home when you come back from work, I will be waiting for you naked, with a broom in one hand, and a duster in the other.

On the subject of Ari, I too am very worried. I don't want her to grow up yet. I haven't had enough time being a dad to her. She needs to stay a child so we can do fun things all together as a family.

Je t'aime.

7:25 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Geez, put that kid in a time machine until she's 12, 13.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Alex isn't a normal man, and that's why we all love him. You have nothing to worry about with him!

Kids shouldn't grow up. Mo is going to college in a little more than a month, Kira...COLLEGE! I was Ari's age when Mo was born! I can never have kids...Mo and Mer have traumatized me enough for this lifetime.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

haunting you from your vegas trip last summer; you may barely remember me. I'm Dane's mom (and now Drake's too, remember I was prego). I had time during naps to look at Andy's blog and find vegas blogger's links and catch up a little on how everyone is. Glad to see your doing well. *smile*

9:27 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

haunting you from your vegas trip last summer; you may barely remember me. I'm Dane's mom (and now Drake's too, remember I was prego). I had time during naps to look at Andy's blog and find vegas blogger's links and catch up a little on how everyone is. Glad to see your doing well. *smile*

9:27 AM  
Blogger Canoes under my shoes said...

A blessing...

May your life be forever free from the devastating freak out.

:)

7:31 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Situations like that with our fellow blogger are really frightening to me too. It's as though we've vicariously reached Shangra-La only to be sent forceably to Watts.

I've had some relationships with people where we never argued. The first time it happened, I slowly became aware of it, wondering when the shoe would finally drop. It's a nerve wracking situations.

BTW, mopping seems easier than giving a good massage.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Foilwoman said...

I think the reason like the blogging situation described are so unsettling is that most people do overlook odd behaviors to have someone in their lives. Most of the times those oversights don't come back to bite us on the behind, but sometimes they do. Even after, for instance, a dozen years of marriage (think summer of 2005 on my blog).

I'm glad you and Alex have found each other and appreciate each other. I'm sorry about the kids growing up thing. My TigerGrrl is turning eight soon, and she finished this year taller than her second grade teacher (who is, indeed, a shorty). I really don't want her to grow up. Everyone will think she's sixteen when she's ten. Except I'm going to tell them: "She's ten." I do that now. She's taller than the thirteen year old boy next door.

Breasts. Aiieee. I can't deal with that yet. But as I tell TigerGrrl, and you doubtless tell Ariel some variant: "No matter how grown up you get, you will always be my little girl. That's not a function of age or size [or development]." Hugs to all. I'm working on the Chianti, now, btw, and thank you very much.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Valerie - Still Riding Forward said...

No kid is ever older than 12 to their mother.

Keep her educated on how her beauty will draw men to her. Explain it's up to her right now to keep them safe from hormones they can't control and that later when they can stay on top of them that they will be the men that protect her.

No one ever told me that and until I him menopause I didn't know how strong hormones could be.

I see now that it is the girls that save the boys from themselves. Don't let them mess up their lives and yours by letting hormones make their decisions. A girl's are easier to deal with.

So keep them safe and at a distance, they can't always help themselves.

That is the caring reason for a girl to always say no until they are older and it's their hearts they can follow, not nature's instincts.

And that is the word from the bird.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Kira said...

Angie--I think I'm most worried about the things they do that hurt themselves. I can mentally list off all the trouble I got myself into as a teen, and all I can think is, please God don't let them do the same thing!!! But I guess it's part of growing up, and I just need to come to terms with that.

NWJR--the only reason I got a good one is that he has never had a horrible breakup or long term relationship or marriage. That's my guess. He has no emotional baggage. That's ok, though, because I have enough for both of us :)

Alex--you know, the naked with cleaning implements vision is totally getting me hot! :)

Hoss--if it were only that easy!

Amanda--ARRGGHH! You said COLLEGE! No, no, no, they can't go to college...that will never happen...they will live with me forever!

Renee--of course I remember you! You will always be in my memory as the most gorgeous pregnant woman ever. I NEVER looked like that when I was expecting--I always looked like I had stayed up for days and was about to stab somebody with a knife...haha!

Laura--I just want the other one that my ex had to count as my quota for that one, ya know? ;)

X.dell--you would think, but see Alex has a degree in cleaning (don't ask). So, his mopping is like NO other! haha! But he's great at massage too. Lucky me!

FW--exactly. I mean, my ex didn't flip out until year 7. And we had been engaged for a year and a half before that, too. Ariana will look more developed for her age, but she won't be tall for her age. She's about average height, and that's amazing enough to me since my whole family is a race of midgets. But you're right--even when she inevitably grows taller than me, she will remain always my baby girl!

Val--I understand what you're saying. What's even worse is that the women of my family seem to have a man's hormones. It sort of dooms us all. I will do my best, though!

4:32 PM  

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