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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Spring Break

Spring break couldn't have happened at a better time. I feel silly even saying I need a break desperately when there are plenty of folks out there doing a dozen things more than I am, but yeah. I needed this break pretty badly.

So far this week, I've slept in and read a lot on wine. You know what? It's really starting to come together. I am re-reading a great book right now (The Wine Bible by Karen MacNeil), and it amazes me how much I remember...and how much more of it makes sense this time around. I have almost finished an article on rose wines, an appropriate topic for summer drinking, too. Now I just need to figure out where to peddle it! I can't believe how consistently intense I've been on this topic. For some reason, I wondered if I'd just lose interest after a while because it's happened before with different subjects. However, as time goes on, I seem to gain even more enthusiasm on the topic. Go figure.

It's funny, but this week I have been especially aware of how perfectly matched Alex is with me. He reads my moods well and accomodates. He's more chemically appealing to me than any other person I've ever known in my life. My kids...are his kids. And the romance never dies. By "romance" I do not mean some sort of froo froo concept only alive in novels. Instead, I mean that he never seems to lose that joy of just doing something to make me happy. I still get nightly massages. I still never have to vacuum my house when he's around because he automatically does it first. I still get to finish off the last bit of cheese, chocolate, or wine. He never tries to convince me he's wonderful (most men I know spend more time bragging about what they've done or what they would do...); he just does everything conceivable to SHOW me he's wonderful. I can't deny that I feel a strong physical pull to the man. He's very appealing that way. But when I think about Foilwoman writing a while back about logic being such an important part of a matchup, I realize that this time around, I used my brain as well as my heart instead of just my heart. He fits with me religiously, philosophically, politically, parentally, goal wise in the universe, and has also shared with me realism as far as finances/material goods go. We are compatable in bed (he's the only guy who has been able to keep up with me so far...believe me, I value a man who wants sex almost as much as I do). Our sense of humor is extremely similar. Yet we have differences that make this life together not predictable nor boring. Sometimes, by the very merit that he spent his whole life in France or England, he has a unique perspective to mine that forces me to think, laugh, love, learn. I adore that.

On another Alex front, though, I am frustrated to realize that he may not get his green card by the time he graduates in August. When we married, as far as I knew, it took about four months for residency paperwork to be approved. So, when I submitted all the paperwork by the end of Jan, I thought I was safe. Well, first of all, they don't record it as processed until Feb. 22nd. Second of all, they are six months behind at this point, not four months. Sigh. Apparently nowadays one has to wait until a visa number for a spouse is available before he or she can be a resident. Before, there were no numbers needed. It was automatic. I'm so glad we're cracking down on LEGAL immigration. That'll really help illegal immigration slow down and all. If we had been able to move to France, we could easily do so. It's the US that has stricter immigration laws. He probably has to go back to France in Sept, so I worry that if he doesn't have his green card by then, he loses his student visa status (since he graduates in August), and he can only return for three months. Then he has to stay in France while we get it straight. ARRRGHH. It's just wrong. We've spent enough time apart. No more. This is just...wrong.

And then I remind myself that I'm borrowing trouble. I don't know what will pass until it does. And life is quite good with him, with my job at Clemson, with my kids right now. Just when I thought I'd sink financially, I get a great tax refund that fixes it all. Then I get approved for a session of the AP readings, too, and that will help me out as far as money goes. It always seems to work out, so I just need to let it work out, you know?

He makes me a better person. Who you hang out with determines if you'll be the same person, a better person, or a worse person. I definitely believe you can take two decent human beings and put them together and the result is two horrible human beings (I think of me and my ex for proof of that). I also believe sometimes you can place two people together and make them better than what they are. Alex does that for me, and I do that for him. So, since we're meant to be together, it should work out. The end.

****

On a side note, the day before spring break I had a high school senior randomly pick my class to sit in on just to see what Clemson was like. I managed to drag her into the discussion, and for whatever reason I was on fire that day. We laughed, we learned, we laughed some more. Man, she came up after class to tell me how much it rocked and how much she was appreciative that I let her sit there and see it. That made me feel good! You know, sometimes a bad day happens as a teacher and I wonder what I'm doing. Then days like that happen and I remember why. I need reminders like that. I think we all do.

13 Comments:

Blogger Joseph H. Vilas said...

Yay! Stuff from Kira! Yay! :)

7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that's just ridiculous to make Alex go back in Sept... should it actually happen. I'll keep it in my prayers that they decide to focus on the handful of people who come here to traffic drugs or whatever instead of a potential businessman like Alex.

You have just cheered me up about something that isn't exactly related, but the whole not worrying about things until they happen thing is a good lesson. I've been beating myself up all morning over this Foucault thing b/c I feel like I got in over my head, especially after reading the reviews of my abstract AFTER I wrote and submitted my paper... I need to engage Foucault more and use more Foucauldian language. It's so freaking scary because that stuff is soooooooooo hard to comprehend. (Believe me when I say, Discipline and Punish is an appropriate name for the book I've been reading.)But you're right - the presentation hasn't happened yet, and things are pretty good for me. The editor of the potential books is going to be AT my presentation, so I just need to WOW them all. I think I'll create a visual metaphor for my PPT slideshow taken straight from the panopticon. That might just save me... yes?

Lol - but seriously - you reminded me not to freak out like I've been doing all morning. Thanks!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

Oh, puke. You're as sappy as a love scene written by George Lucas. Less painful, but just as cloying. Next visit, I plan to beat you around the ears and ankles for constantly reminding me how empty my life is. HOW DARE YOU BE IN LOVE IN MY PRESENCE? It's just rude. :p

Also, I hate your cat. And Google - this is the third time I've tried to comment.

9:23 AM  
Blogger NWJR said...

Mmmm....wine....

Luckily, my wine-loving friends who can afford the really good stuff keep inviting me over for dinner and try out their latest purchases on me.

Use your friends wisely, I say.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Canoes under my shoes said...

Hmmmmm...is it just me or do I see a parallel being made between wine and Alex?

I think the visa business will work itself out. There's no way he can be illegal now.

BTW, I saw a collegue's green card. They're pretty cool looking now.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Canoes under my shoes said...

Hmmmmm...is it just me or do I see a parallel being made between wine and Alex?

I think the visa business will work itself out. There's no way he can be illegal now.

BTW, I saw a collegue's green card. They're pretty cool looking now.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I can't help with the green card, but I have a summer job proposition for you! I already have Owen on the payroll, and now we're dragging Brian into the chaos. You're next!

I'm slowly converting to an academic mentally: do nothing, but delegate well! ;)

4:03 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

The delay in Alex's green card processing kinda highlights the stupid paranoia that has become the norm since Sept. 11, 2001. The government cannot crack down on illegal immigration, only legal immigration--nevermind that the former presents far more security risks than the latter.

Unreal.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Joseph H. Vilas said...

The immigration stuff is worse, but it's always been pretty mindless: I have a friend who's Canadian; she married her long-time boyfriend (who she'd been shacking with for years) before 9/11. She'd been working in the US for several years also. She wound up having to do something stupid like coming up with 5 or 7 year old phone records, showing previous contact between her and her US husband. I think this was putatively in service of her proving that she essentially wasn't a mail-order bride. :/

Kira -- The fact that you're married to Alex is irrelevant as far as US Immigration is concerned?

8:57 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Apparently, some people in the US have been petitioning their respective senators to deny me permanent residence in the US.

I think it has something to do with the fact that if it becomes common knowledge that guys like me exist, many US men will find themselves dumped.

7:03 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Alex, I have a direct line to three US senators. I'll explain that you're an asset because you can teach the SC men how to be a real man. (God knows they need the help!) That should boost the tourism economy because most women have never seen a real man. See, more money for the state AND happier women! It's a win-win!

7:23 AM  
Blogger Juanita said...

Is stinking blogger going to let me comment today? I tried a couple of days ago and lost the whole thing. Anyway... I said that you are a kick-ass teacher! I sometimes fantasize about being a history teacher, because that's the subject for which I really have the passion. But it takes a special person, and that's probably not me. At least not in the teaching arena. Hope your spring break was fantabulous, and have faith. Alex's green card issue will work out. You're on a roll, don't you know it?

8:58 AM  
Blogger Mr. Guinness said...

Found your blog through Jezzy's sight. Glad you're enjoying spring break, they are all down here in Destin and Panama City Beach making my life less than "a break" but soon I send them back to you!
Enjoyed your thoughts, humor, and outlook and will surely be reading more.

5:11 AM  

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