Collard Greens
There's been a bit of a buzz about a questionable party thrown at Clemson University. Jadedprimadonna already wrote about it, so I don't need to elaborate that one. However, I have to say that a few days before the whole party hit facebook and then the media, I already had a clue that some of the students thought some ways of treating people were cool when they really aren't.
We were discussing false cause, one of many fallacies of relevance that I felt that my kids needed to know in order to avoid them when writing the argumentative essays. I asked them to give examples of false cause, informing them that superstitions were always false cause. So, they tossed out the usual examples: walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror, stepping on a crack, etc. Then this one fellow--who happens to be an African-American, and the only minority present in class that day--mentioned that black-eyed peas on New Year's Eve was good luck. Several members of the class immediately stated that you had to eat collard greens with the black-eyed peas or it doesn't work. Then this white chick who sits next to the black fellow grins at him and says, "Geesh! YOU should know all ABOUT collard greens!"
Now, this girl doesn't know this guy. It's not like they are close friends and joke around all the time about...whatever. I raise my eyebrows, surprised, and sigh heavily. The guy reassures me and the whole class--a class frozen in disbelief, mind you--that he's not one of those fellows who cries racist after everything he hears. I tell him, wow, well, I'm glad for you, but I still have questions about what she just said. The girl instantly said, "But my best friend is black!" I believe that was supposed to be some sort of "Free Card." If you state your best friend is X minority, then it's ok, you can say what you want and you are not racist. I sighed again, and then...because my mouth works quicker than my brain or any other part of me...before I knew it, I smiled to the guy and said, "Well, that's good, just make sure to tell her that you were shocked that she was intelligent enough to come up with something like that." The whole class went silent again, gaping mouths staring at me, wondering where that came from. "Oh, can't you see?" I explained. "She's BLONDE! We assume blondes are really stupid. We assume blacks eat collard greens. Since she made the first shot there, we can assume she doesn't mind being teased about things that she can't control like physical appearance, so we can tease her back." The guy, horrified, insisted he'd never say anything like that to her. I replied, "OH! I see. So she can tease you and make fun of you, and that's cool by you, but you can't return the favor? I'm not like that, you see. I figure if somebody takes a shot at me, I get to open fire!"
And then we went on with class, but I guess the class was a little stunned. So was I. You should know about collard greens? What, next she's going to ask him when he last had watermelon and fried chicken? Sheesh. The worst part was that even though I thought I made my point clear with my returning volley, I don't think she got it. I really don't think she understands why her comment was not appropriate.
I'm not one of these crazy over the top Political Correctness Policewomen. I just believe that what Ms. Manners said long ago was true: good manners is about making people comfortable. And teasing like that type? Definitely not good manners. And not even funny.
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Damn you blogger for making me switch! Damn you! Damn you!
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So, we are the plague household. Alex just has a bad neck so far, but the kids and I are sick. Jared barfed everywhere yesterday, and we've all ran fevers. I hope we're better by tomorrow. Alex went back to Columbia today. I figure tomorrow his neck will feel all better. Then Tuesday he'll barf and get a fever too. It's so fantastic when families share!
We were discussing false cause, one of many fallacies of relevance that I felt that my kids needed to know in order to avoid them when writing the argumentative essays. I asked them to give examples of false cause, informing them that superstitions were always false cause. So, they tossed out the usual examples: walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror, stepping on a crack, etc. Then this one fellow--who happens to be an African-American, and the only minority present in class that day--mentioned that black-eyed peas on New Year's Eve was good luck. Several members of the class immediately stated that you had to eat collard greens with the black-eyed peas or it doesn't work. Then this white chick who sits next to the black fellow grins at him and says, "Geesh! YOU should know all ABOUT collard greens!"
Now, this girl doesn't know this guy. It's not like they are close friends and joke around all the time about...whatever. I raise my eyebrows, surprised, and sigh heavily. The guy reassures me and the whole class--a class frozen in disbelief, mind you--that he's not one of those fellows who cries racist after everything he hears. I tell him, wow, well, I'm glad for you, but I still have questions about what she just said. The girl instantly said, "But my best friend is black!" I believe that was supposed to be some sort of "Free Card." If you state your best friend is X minority, then it's ok, you can say what you want and you are not racist. I sighed again, and then...because my mouth works quicker than my brain or any other part of me...before I knew it, I smiled to the guy and said, "Well, that's good, just make sure to tell her that you were shocked that she was intelligent enough to come up with something like that." The whole class went silent again, gaping mouths staring at me, wondering where that came from. "Oh, can't you see?" I explained. "She's BLONDE! We assume blondes are really stupid. We assume blacks eat collard greens. Since she made the first shot there, we can assume she doesn't mind being teased about things that she can't control like physical appearance, so we can tease her back." The guy, horrified, insisted he'd never say anything like that to her. I replied, "OH! I see. So she can tease you and make fun of you, and that's cool by you, but you can't return the favor? I'm not like that, you see. I figure if somebody takes a shot at me, I get to open fire!"
And then we went on with class, but I guess the class was a little stunned. So was I. You should know about collard greens? What, next she's going to ask him when he last had watermelon and fried chicken? Sheesh. The worst part was that even though I thought I made my point clear with my returning volley, I don't think she got it. I really don't think she understands why her comment was not appropriate.
I'm not one of these crazy over the top Political Correctness Policewomen. I just believe that what Ms. Manners said long ago was true: good manners is about making people comfortable. And teasing like that type? Definitely not good manners. And not even funny.
****
Damn you blogger for making me switch! Damn you! Damn you!
****
So, we are the plague household. Alex just has a bad neck so far, but the kids and I are sick. Jared barfed everywhere yesterday, and we've all ran fevers. I hope we're better by tomorrow. Alex went back to Columbia today. I figure tomorrow his neck will feel all better. Then Tuesday he'll barf and get a fever too. It's so fantastic when families share!
posted by Kira | 3:02 PM
11 Comments:
Never miss a good opportunity to SHUT UP! I wish I knew who I was quoting...it sounds like blondie would benefit a little from that wisdom.
Hope you all feel better.
How is it that Blogger is making some people switch and not others? Are my days in old Blogger marked???
Yep, I few of the people on my list were forced to switch too. I guess it was good I went ahead and tried the new version while it was back in beta.
It is pretty amazing that our students think that stereotyping others is okay. I mean, the white trash parties are just as bad as the gangsta parties. But the majority of them think the media just blew it out of proportion, and it wasn't that bad b/c black students went to the party. The thing they just don't realize is that we've worked so hard to overcome the stereotypes about Southerners being racist, and things like that party just make the whole world think that the stereotype about us is true. It's all very depressing to me.
Hope you guys feel better soon!
Ignorance crosses so many barriers. It's not limited to racist steretypes; too many people like to hear their own voices, but that hate to waste time thinking first.
I love the quote, Laurita. Too bad more people don't invoke that right.
Kira: I think the whole thing boils down to manners. Maybe it was okay (pre-PC or whatever) to say stereotypical things about other people based on religion, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, whatever, but it never was good manners. The people you made fun of or assumptions about were always NQOKD*, and being able to go on about one group's alleged drinking capacity, another group's eating habits, another group's intelligence or lack thereof, another group's sexual proclivities (who did that study?) was an indication that those people were other. NQOKD. Not us, them, so we can be rude to or about them. Yeah, I know what all white people eat, too.
*Not Quite Our Kind, Dear
If your definition of manners making others feel comfortable, good job! You really made that one student comfortable, along with the rest of the class. You should have just politely taken Blondie aside after class and killed her.
What happened at Clemson? I can't read jadedprimadonna's blog.
Sheesh! What is it with blondes and their total capacity to use both of their neurons? Just confirms my opinion. And my best friend is blonde, so no crap from the peanut gallery, please! I once even had a blonde girlfriend, but between the abject stupidity and the blatant emotional manipulation, I got over it. Mostly. ("Hey, K.! How's that perpetual yeast infection coming?")
Besides, obviously she was making mention of collards because the gentleman in question is a Southerner. If you are a Southerner of any race, you need to know about collards or you have to turn in your license to drawl.
I wondered if you would mention the party that occurred at Clemson MLK weekend. I used to teach a course on media stereotypes here in NY, so what surprised me were the number of mass-media cliches in the photos of the party. It was as though they really didn't know many black people at all, and in that respect this I found to be more shocking than anything--especially in SC.
Well, I'm hoping your household feels better soon.
Oh geez! I cringed just from reading that. Ouch.
Hope you guys feel better. My family loves to share, too! Especially strep. Yay.
I don't know all about collard green, but I do know that I like mustard greens and turnip greens better. I wonder what that says about me? :)
Laura--actually, that bit of wisdom is something I never obey but should myself ;)
Angie--what is it about the power of labeling that makes people so eager to stereotype rather than get to know the individual in question? If stereotypes didn't excite, then we'd never have any of those parties.
Amanda--too many people like to hear themselves speak but don't want to think first? You mean you've seen some of my class discussions? ;)
FW--yes, I really do suspect that this is connected to manners (hence my reference to Ms. Manners). It's not a "OH MAN YOU HAVE SHOT SOMEBODY!" type of offense. It's more rude and thoughtless.
Grant--nah, she already made the entire class uncomfortable. I really just made it bad for her too. And that was ok ;)
Joe--you should be able to read her blog now.
Terry--yes, southerners know about collard greens, but believe me that was NOT the context of the convo.
X.dell--the students here form ethnic clics. It's hard to get to know black people if all you do is hang out with whites, or vice versa.
Juanita--I'm the last to feel better because I got version II last...sigh. But I think we've about pulled out of it now!
Gary--As long as it's not kale (I don't like kale at all!), I don't care ;)
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