The Once A Week Blogger!
Yes, it seems that I can manage about once a week. Oh well.
So, the anxiety is much more managable this last week. I know it's temporary, though. I need to ask my doc about it, and I will eventually. Just not this week.
Last weekend, I took my good friend Shana--the woman who used to be married to my ex's brother--and her son Harvest with me and the kids to Columbia to visit Alex. How did life get so complex? Technically, I am Harvest's aunt because when he was born, I was married to his father's brother. But I'm not married to that man anymore. Still, I don't want to NOT be an aunt, so I am. He's my nephew. That won't change. But then what about Alex? Is he uncle number two? Shana navigated that one after she saw how stellarly Alex treated Harvest: definitely that's Uncle Alex. My kids have no desire to stop calling Shana "Aunt Shana" because she's always been their aunt, and the separation just happened in Sept. anyway. Harvest is their cousin forever regardless. Ug. What a pain to figure out what each of us is to the other now! I guess it all boils down to that we love each other. And that's that.
Alex has a good sense of what women need. He realized before Shana came to visit that, as a newly scarred woman in a just-crushed long term relationship, she would need to vent. He also realized she needed to vent away from her son. So, he shipped us off to Gervais and Vine to have wine and tapas while he tended all three children. There was little I could do to make up for that gallantry other than make his favorite chocolate pie and bring it to him as a reward. Well...there's obviously other stuff, but since Shana had to sleep in our room, that didn't really work out :)We had a blast, and Operation Spoil Shana worked out splendidly. It's funny to me how Alex gets even more excited than I do that we are making her feel relaxed and happy. I mean, she's MY close friend since 1993! He didn't meet her that long ago. Yet, he's grinning as he makes her sit down and fetches her son what he needs. God I love that man.
See, he's not spineless. He's not a weak man who lets others walk all over him, nor a slave. He just...is selfless. There's a huge difference. He LOVES helping other people. This is the man who listened carefully to my stories of how I felt one of my neighbors was overwhelmed as a very, very young single mother of two small children. Then, as a result of knowing her situation, he started carrying her garbage to the dumpster (a bit of a walk from our building) whenever she left it outside her door. She has no idea it's my husband who does that for her. All she knows is that some kind soul takes her trash for her and helps her out. He doesn't do it for the attention...he does it because he genuinely loves feeling needed. It's been really weird--but the good kind of weird--to adjust to a man like Alex. I'll never take him for granted.
So we did tag-team spoiling of Shana, and it worked. It's been a long time since I've seen her so together, happy, and whole.
Classes are going well, although I'm already slammed with papers to review this week. Bleh. After hearing about lecturers who are not being reappointed or are having some secondary evaluations being made to see if they should be evaluated, I am feeling much more blessed to have my reappointment letters.
iPods rock. Just for the record.
Oh, and the last bit of news: Radioactive Cat is 100% better! YAY! We just got the thyroid test results back this week. Indeed, what is there to feel anxiety about? Life is good.
So, the anxiety is much more managable this last week. I know it's temporary, though. I need to ask my doc about it, and I will eventually. Just not this week.
Last weekend, I took my good friend Shana--the woman who used to be married to my ex's brother--and her son Harvest with me and the kids to Columbia to visit Alex. How did life get so complex? Technically, I am Harvest's aunt because when he was born, I was married to his father's brother. But I'm not married to that man anymore. Still, I don't want to NOT be an aunt, so I am. He's my nephew. That won't change. But then what about Alex? Is he uncle number two? Shana navigated that one after she saw how stellarly Alex treated Harvest: definitely that's Uncle Alex. My kids have no desire to stop calling Shana "Aunt Shana" because she's always been their aunt, and the separation just happened in Sept. anyway. Harvest is their cousin forever regardless. Ug. What a pain to figure out what each of us is to the other now! I guess it all boils down to that we love each other. And that's that.
Alex has a good sense of what women need. He realized before Shana came to visit that, as a newly scarred woman in a just-crushed long term relationship, she would need to vent. He also realized she needed to vent away from her son. So, he shipped us off to Gervais and Vine to have wine and tapas while he tended all three children. There was little I could do to make up for that gallantry other than make his favorite chocolate pie and bring it to him as a reward. Well...there's obviously other stuff, but since Shana had to sleep in our room, that didn't really work out :)We had a blast, and Operation Spoil Shana worked out splendidly. It's funny to me how Alex gets even more excited than I do that we are making her feel relaxed and happy. I mean, she's MY close friend since 1993! He didn't meet her that long ago. Yet, he's grinning as he makes her sit down and fetches her son what he needs. God I love that man.
See, he's not spineless. He's not a weak man who lets others walk all over him, nor a slave. He just...is selfless. There's a huge difference. He LOVES helping other people. This is the man who listened carefully to my stories of how I felt one of my neighbors was overwhelmed as a very, very young single mother of two small children. Then, as a result of knowing her situation, he started carrying her garbage to the dumpster (a bit of a walk from our building) whenever she left it outside her door. She has no idea it's my husband who does that for her. All she knows is that some kind soul takes her trash for her and helps her out. He doesn't do it for the attention...he does it because he genuinely loves feeling needed. It's been really weird--but the good kind of weird--to adjust to a man like Alex. I'll never take him for granted.
So we did tag-team spoiling of Shana, and it worked. It's been a long time since I've seen her so together, happy, and whole.
Classes are going well, although I'm already slammed with papers to review this week. Bleh. After hearing about lecturers who are not being reappointed or are having some secondary evaluations being made to see if they should be evaluated, I am feeling much more blessed to have my reappointment letters.
iPods rock. Just for the record.
Oh, and the last bit of news: Radioactive Cat is 100% better! YAY! We just got the thyroid test results back this week. Indeed, what is there to feel anxiety about? Life is good.
posted by Kira | 7:43 PM
18 Comments:
Ah, the wonder of tricky family relations... you'd think you could simplify it to Pseudo-Uncle or Uncle, Iteration 2 or something. If only the world had better terminology... Still, it must be nice to have the opportunity to have those odd relations, as opposed to not seeing (relative) relatives at all.
As for grading papers, though, could be worse... At least you understand what you're doing. Think of yourself in the place of one of your less effective students... Then things would really be unhappy. Durned kids. :P
Hey, I'm selfless and caring. Where's my bunny? Huh? And why are you posting when you could be e-mailing me?
Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Alex rocks, too. What a guy. I'm really happy for you.
im with s.c. here. seriously? harvest? thats not for real is it?
When will I be receiving my Alex clone? Just make sure he has no Milk or LP genes...those are the defective ones. ;)
Seriously though, what Kira doesn't say is that I am a real bastard :D
I just found out one of my closest friends got dumped a few days ago, and the first thought that poped into my head was: damn, I knew I should have placed a bet that he would get dumped in less than a month :)
Oh and Grant, I want to let you know that I call the iPod by her proper name :)
You are truely one of the nicest people (as I've been the beneficiary of operation spoil Laura a time or two). I'm sure Shana appreciates you two a LOT. And no, divorce does not un-make an aunt or uncle.
iPods DO rock!
I don't know how I lived without my iPod.
I think that "uncles" and "aunts" don't have to be blood relatives. I mean, I have a few uncles out there who don't even know my kids' names. So, they aren't really very uncle-like to me, lol. Then, you have those aunts like Rita who are the real deal. I think it's more about the relationship than anything else, so I think Shana is 100% their aunt.
And Alex is just gifted with the ability to anticipate women's feelings... taking the trash for the neighbor... wow! That made me tear up a little when I read it. =o)
Personally, I think it depends on the character of the ex-uncle or ex-aunt whether or not they are still considered to be uncles or aunts after a divorce. I know of one particular ex-uncle that is no longer an uncle to my children.
Harvest? That's the kids name? Wow.
Once a week? That's pretty good! More than I'm gettin'!
Oh, wait...you were talking about blogging, weren't you?
Never mind.
Ency--I owe you a long email. It will come eventually. And yes, I'm glad that Shana and Harvest are still part of our "family," even if not through marriage anymore.
SC--Ask Edgy Mama about how the name Harvest would be received around Asheville. It's not a problem there, trust me (and that's the area where she lives). Hell, the men wear skirts there to certain events. He's six, and nobody has even blinked there about his name so far.
Grant--that's the problem with you men. Once a day is never enough. I don't have a bunny here for you unless I hunt down Tsuki. I know, I know...I should get started. I hear and obey, Master.
Juanita--thanks! Alex really is amazing. I swear that if he did anything shitty, it would be up on this blog in a nanosecond. But...he doesn't. He's a nice change after my previous experiences, and I say we kick out any man from Laura's life who isn't close to this good to her as he is to me.
Tony--I already explained that one to you when you called yesterday, but you can read my quip to SC if you need a refresher ;)
Amanda--no, there's no need to add those genes to the Alex Model. I need to add a few inches for your version, but we can get that code from a more suitable DNA choice ;)
Alex--yes, you can be very bastardy sometimes, just like I can be bitchy. However, you're still always the kind of guy who would give another person the shirt off his back!
Laura--wow, thanks! And yes, I've done what I can to keep an Operation Spoil Laura going off and on here and there as I can. You'd get the full treatment if you were able to visit...just sayin' ;)
Angie--yeah, that's true. I've had a few aunts and uncles who weren't actually aunts nor uncles in the technical sense so much as how involved they were in my life. It's sort of like being a mom: biology is not the essential component. And yes, when I realized Alex was taking the garbage out, I was very moved myself!
April--see the comment to SC ;)
NWJR--well, actually, when he's here and there are no kids, it's more like four times a day...since you insist on bringing it up :) That's probably due mostly to trying to make up for the time when we are apart. I'm sure that was TMI, but that's the risk you take when you crack those sorts of jokes...haha!
You really are lucky to have someone like Alex in your life. Too bad there aren't more men like him.
Hey, we are busy and underpaid.
You have influence with Grant. Tell him to blog again. I miss him.
Take three.
I don't know whether or not we have relentless media stereotyping to thank for reinforcing the belief that men have to be insensitive to retain their masculinity, or years of cultivated machismo. Whatever the case, I would bet there are far more men like Alex than you might suspect.
Nevertheless, I'm glad that you found him.
Glad to hear good cat news.
Yes, there's a huge difference between weak and selfless. Glad you have the latter. Hugs to him.
x
I read somewhere that you had a birthday. Hope it was a happy one, filled with much chocolate, wine and good sex.
You're late, once a week blogger.
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