Mothers and Star Wars

Well, this last weekend, Alex and I drove down to Atlanta to see Grant again. We really have a lot of fun with him (and he feeds us AMAZINGLY WELL!), so we seem to go down quite a bit. We went down in November, twice in December, and then this weekend. Although he started out my friend, he's definitely Alex's too. Alex told me once that he was so glad to have Grant as a friend because most of the other friends he's made through me are more my friends than his, not having so much in common with him as just loving him because he's attached to me. On the other hand, Grant has a fair bit in common with Alex as far as interests go, and Grant tries to communicate with him too, so he feels like he finally has his first mutual friend in America. That's cool because it makes it easier to convince Alex to drive down for the weekend to see Grant!

Anyway, we primarily eat good/great food, drink too much alcohol, and see lots of movies whenever we visit. This past weekend, we decided upon a Star Wars theme. We started with episode one, then we went to episode five. We didn't get to reach episode six (aka Return of the Jedi) because we ran out of time. We also got to watch two Japanese related movies in between the other movies for variation. Anyway! One thing about episode three (aka Revenge of the Sith) really pissed me off. Padme was a crap mum. Let me explain.

Padme is pregnant. For some reason I cannot figure out, technology in this high tech society does not involve ultrasounds because she has no idea--nor does anybody else--that she's carrying twins. Sure, you can go on the theory that since she wasn't supposed to be married to Anakin/Darth Vader, she just didn't go to the doctor's. But really, even the biggest moron could see she was pregnant at the end, so what would be the point there? Due to Anakin's conversion to the dark side of the force, she loses her will to live. She gives birth. She names her kids. And then she dies. Stupid bitch...I want to kill her. Sadly, however, she's already dead.

See, motherhood is not easy. Motherhood is worth just about anything, but it's not easy. She gave up before she began because she decided that her husband was the most important thing in her life and her kids didn't matter. For nine months she carried twins, and she never grew to love them so much that she would want to live to take care of them. I just don't get it.

Now, before anybody tells me, "Kira, you don't know what it's like to be depressed, severely depressed, and that's why she decided to just die." Bullshit. When my marriage fell apart, I certainly was so depressed that death was a beautiful option, a release from my misery. I distinctly remember falling asleep at night, hoping I'd die in my sleep, only to wake up crying because I was still alive. I remember the kids waking up and needing me, the tears still streaming down my face, me mentally telling myself that only a woman who didn't care for her children would stay in bed and wallow...and boom, mentally kicking myself over and over again, I was out of bed and taking care of them. I loved them. In fact, my love for them was the only good and beautiful part of my universe left at that point. How could I kill myself? How could I just lose the will to live when my kids needed me so badly? Impossible!

So, I guess it really bothers me that Padme just....named her children and slipped away. Wuss. Real women love their children even when the father is psycho, evil, and the dark lord of the universe. Real mothers forage on because we have been given this extraordinary strength to live when others would fail. My therapist told me once that when women have kids, they become statistically very unlikely to commit suicide. However, she stated that when men have kids, the rate of suicide largely remains unchanged. Therefore, caretaking through extreme depression should indeed be a mother's trait. (for a side note, however, I know for certain that my ex's love for his kids pulled him through some desires for suicide too, so I realize men can have that bond as well with their kids)

I liked Padme all the way until the end. Then I became furious. Good thing she enabled her children to be adopted elsewhere because she never could have been a real mom.