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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

The Old and the New

When I was young, I thought romance consisted of sweet words, flowers, chocolates, bubble baths, and massages. Anything that involved quiet time with my loved one wherein he doted upon me or showed that he thought of me all day was exactly what I wanted and expected. Ironically, even though my viewpoint on what is romantic has changed, I still DO get all of those things, constantly, from Alex. He has no idea that after being married for three and a half years, we're no longer newlyweds and he should start to slack off, scratch his ass, and drink beer while playing a video game (he isn't into sports), ignoring the rest of the family as we go about our business. If anything, he's even more involved. So, I get the best of what I thought was romance when I was young...and currently.

What romance becomes:

Vacuuming the house, then mopping it

Taking the kids to school because it's below freezing outside, and my circulation disorder makes it so that I get dangerously cold easily

Cleaning up cat barf, dog barf, and child barf cheerfully and without complaint...or even being asked

Cleaning up the kitchen right after dinner, every dinner, every night

Spending all his free time playing a game with Jared...then playing with Ari...then finding time for me before he falls into bed, too

Hunting up books I've never heard of but he just knows I'd like...then buying them for me

Making me tea and toast when I feel like crap, then turning around and taking care of the kids so that I can stay in bed

Listening to me...intently, with interest...about my babbles on wine, food, the world I created that is the beginnings of my newest story, the amount I saved with super double coupons, how the cat turned the most hilarious things into toys today, or how adorable Jared was in his martial arts class...anything, everything

Willingly waking up at 4a when I can't sleep, even though I'm trying not to wake him up, and rubbing my head while talking softly to me so I can fall back asleep

Always remembering to scrape the ice off my car's windshield because he leaves the house first and he wants me to not have to do it

Practicing martial arts with Jared

Reading a book Ari's reading just because she wants him to read it, too

Remembering to turn on the heating pad under Jared's sheets before he goes to bed so he's not too cold on the coldest nights

Patiently filming Ari and her best friend's antics for a science project for school


Oh, I could go on and on. But the truth is, romance when we are older is a much more practical, yet still magical, concept. Every day I am romanced by this man, showed to be special, made to feel loved...and it's not just the flowers/chocolates/backrubs/bubble baths/lit candles and petals strewn on my sheets. I'm obnoxiously lucky and get that, too, but it's the every day little things that he does that shows me what real romance has become.


Blogger Grant said...

Not a single mention of anal sex, you poor thing. Your life is so crappy compared to mine. Come here, baby. :p

9:56 AM  
Blogger April said...

Damn! Grant beat me to the anal sex comment, as usual. Bastard! =)

You're so right. Any man can buy flowers or chocolates. It's the other stuff that counts the most. It's the little things they do to help make our lives easier. It's the little gestures to let you know they're here for you. It's not getting pissed at you when you're being a bitch for no reason. Yeah, I could go on too.

I asked for the longest time to find my Alex and I can still, after 2 years, say that I have! Although, when I can't sleep he doesn't rub my head and talk to me softly. He kicks my legs when I try to snuggle them up next to him because he thinks it's the dog being a bed hog. ;-)

2:29 PM  
Blogger whoisnell said...

you are definitely a lucky 'bitch' *wink*..
my unromance was:
- going out with the most 'noble' man i've ever known (our story goes back to uni days) for 7 years

- having dinner by myself even we stay about half an hour apart

- see each other only about 20 hours a week, basically saturday and half day sunday

- got married because his family pressures

- still live apart because we are waiting for our dream home to be ready

- sold dream home no. 1 before we had a chance to move in because the traffic is horrible there (according to him)

- waited for our home no. 2 to complete

- had a miscarriage within the year

- being told that its not working out and he's in love with another woman

- he kept saying he wanted to end the relationship for good but did not make any move (legally) about it

- hide the situation from both family and being treated like dirt by him (i still visit his parents and doing my wifely duty all the while he pretended i do not exist)

- 2 years on i am still hoping

- i filed for divorce this year and we signed the paper and guess what, he is still not telling the family what happened

- funnier still is that he does not want anything to do with me and avoided me yet called recently to borrow money from me

- joke of the year: i loaned the money to him

i am broke.. heart-broken and all

life is weird aint it

4:53 AM  
Blogger Kat Weaver said...

I just started following your Blog. It's great reading!! And I agree, romance when we are older becomes a lot of little things that add up to, "I love you."

10:14 AM  

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