Why Now?
I'm trying to figure out why, suddenly, after not thinking of this one fellow from my past for years and years, I had a dream about Scott. I knew Scott from my Duke days--a fellow geek, and a funny and attractive one at that. However, he had one fatal flaw that made him unattractive as time went by: he kept hitting on me when he was engaged to a good friend of mine, and then hit on me even more after he got married. If I had been the type to not care if a man were married or not, I would have probably dated him because he had a lot of the qualities I find intriguing. But there is one thing that is an unwaverable truth here: if the guy can cheat on his gf, fiance, wife...the guy can cheat on you. I always keep that in mind as one of my main (yes, I admit selfish) reasons why never to get involved with a man who is involved.
I remember when I first met Scott, I had no idea he had a live-in girlfriend. He liked all the same things I liked and I flirted with him here and there. When I gamed for a while with a couple of guys at Duke, he was in the group. We talked more after that, but he seemed more interested in my friend Kelly at the time. He loved blondes with huge breasts. Kelly was such a gal, and he couldn't stop staring at her. Oh well, I thought, and that was that. We became friends and he eventually told me all about his live-in girlfriend, Sharon. Woah, I thought, why hadn't I heard of her before? And why is he flirting with Kelly then? I met Sharon and I liked her a lot. Sharon and I started to hang out together a fair bit, and then it became a threesome (not what you think you kinky bastards you!). Scott would DM for Sharon and myself, or we'd play board games, or we'd go out and play putt putt golf...anything, really. We got together twice a week and just had a blast. This beautiful state lasted a few months. He stopped hanging out with my other friends entirely and stopped even glancing at Kelly. Then Sharon and Scott got engaged.
When Sharon excitedly told me the news, I was perplexed. Marry Scott? Why would you want to do that? I just thought he'd be the kind to cheat on a gal, even though in every other way I found Scott to be marvelous. Then both Sharon and Scott admitted seperately to me later on that Sharon had pressured Scott into marrying her. She had said she had enough with the living without a ring bit, and either he married her or she moved out. Stupid, stupid move to deliver this kind of ultimatum. You can't "ultimatum" a man into marrying you and ever expect it to work out right, girls. Scott didn't want to lose Sharon, but he didn't want to get married. What followed was a recipe for disaster.
As they prepared for the wedding, Scott proceeded to dump on me more and more about how he didn't want to get married. I kept telling him he needed to tell SHARON this, and not me, but he kept moaning about how he didn't want her to break things off with him. They both were being stupid: Sharon for forcing Scott to propose; Scott for being a pussy and not willing to stand up for what he felt and face the consequences. Two weeks before the marriage took place, he flat out tried to kiss me and talked about how badly he wanted to be with me instead. Long story on how that came about and how I handed it, but the short version is that he didn't get to finish that kiss and I told him that I would never hurt a friend by doing ANYTHING with her significant other. Awkward.
I was to take care of their cats while they were on their honeymoon to England. So, when Scott called me the second they returned, I thought foolishly that it was due to him wanting to tell me they were back so I'd know the cats were ok. But no, that's not why Scott called. Sharon was in the shower and he had to tell me all about how he thought of ME while they were on their honeymoon. My god. I reminded him he was married now and so he had to think of Sharon, not other women, but that seemed to have no effect. The folks at work had to check on me right after that phone call (he had called me at work!) because I was in the bathroom sobbing. I know I'm a flirt, so I wondered, did I encourage him? How do I stop this without hurting Sharon, all while keeping Scott's friendship too which I valued? How does one remove oneself from a situation like this but keep everything "the way it was?" The answer, of course, is that you can't. I tried all manner of things for the next few months to try to keep our little threesome going because I LOVED our times together and I didn't want to lose them.
However, Scott left me flowers. Love notes on my car. Balloons. All the things no guy I actually dated ever did to me (until now Alex hehe). It was hard for me to tell him to stop because I had never GOTTEN that kind of attention before. Sharon started confessing to me that she was foolish to pressure Scott into marrying her because she knew he wanted to wander and had no idea what to do. What was I supposed to tell her? Yes, you're right, and he wants ME? I can't even describe how I felt there.
Then Sharon did something that I guess she felt she 'had' to do, but something I've never forgiven her for. She told Scott that she'd 'allow' him to have one affair with one person just to 'get it out of his system', but that it HAD to be me or nobody else or she'd break things off with him and leave him. She did this deliberately because she KNEW how I felt about running off with a married/taken man. She KNEW I'd feel obligated to resist, but this way *I* got to be the bad guy and *SHE* got to be the good guy. She didn't tell me she did this directly--Scott did--but when I did some gentle queries in her direction about what she told Scott, she confirmed it. Sigh.
The second incident that happened--an event which sealed the fate of our friendships--was the day I called in sick to work. I had a bad cold, and so I had not only stayed home but called up my friend Rick and whined at him that I was ill. Rick came over to keep me company, so he was present when Scott showed up. See, Scott had been expected to drop off a friend of his at the airport, and when he was done doing just that, he decided to drop in at my workplace to see me. He realized when he arrived that my car was not in the parking lot, so he asked them where I was. They told him I was sick. He bought a dozen longstem red roses, four get well balloons, and had another long love note he had written (complete with drawn out cartoons...ok, I'll admit that his cartoons were always entertaining). I hear a knock; I answer the door, and there is Scott standing there with all his items. I turned pale and went speechless to such an extent that Rick, seeing me from his angle on the sofa, lept up and ran to the door to see what was the matter. Rick and Scott knew each other, and Rick was just as surprised to see Scott as the opposite.
Scott was jealous Rick was there. Rick was amused that Scott was there. I fussed at Scott and told him to take the roses back to his WIFE and to tell her that they were from him, and to never do this again. He didn't want to do that. The phone rang. It was Sharon, sobbing because Scott was THREE HOURS LATE from his trip back from the airport and she didn't know where he was. "Oh, I bet he's just hung up somewhere, Sharon," I replied in a mysterious yet tightly controlled voice. "If he's not home within a half hour, call me and I'll help you search for him." I hung up the phone and snarled at Scott, "You worried her! Take the damn flowers and go back home to her and apologize for being so late. Be romantic. Take her out to eat, do whatever, but don't EVER put me in this position again as LONG as you live!" He left the balloons because "get well" was not an appropriate message to give his wife. Sharon called me up later to say he arrived, then added in a confused tone, "He bought me flowers...he never buys me flowers anymore, but he DOES know that I don't like roses...why did he get me roses?"
Sigh.
So, the friendship ended. And I dreamed of both of them last night...then woke up suddenly. It wasn't a significant dream, really. Just...they were there, and sleeping, and I accidentally woke them up. Why? Why do we dream of that long buried sometimes? Hmmm....
I remember when I first met Scott, I had no idea he had a live-in girlfriend. He liked all the same things I liked and I flirted with him here and there. When I gamed for a while with a couple of guys at Duke, he was in the group. We talked more after that, but he seemed more interested in my friend Kelly at the time. He loved blondes with huge breasts. Kelly was such a gal, and he couldn't stop staring at her. Oh well, I thought, and that was that. We became friends and he eventually told me all about his live-in girlfriend, Sharon. Woah, I thought, why hadn't I heard of her before? And why is he flirting with Kelly then? I met Sharon and I liked her a lot. Sharon and I started to hang out together a fair bit, and then it became a threesome (not what you think you kinky bastards you!). Scott would DM for Sharon and myself, or we'd play board games, or we'd go out and play putt putt golf...anything, really. We got together twice a week and just had a blast. This beautiful state lasted a few months. He stopped hanging out with my other friends entirely and stopped even glancing at Kelly. Then Sharon and Scott got engaged.
When Sharon excitedly told me the news, I was perplexed. Marry Scott? Why would you want to do that? I just thought he'd be the kind to cheat on a gal, even though in every other way I found Scott to be marvelous. Then both Sharon and Scott admitted seperately to me later on that Sharon had pressured Scott into marrying her. She had said she had enough with the living without a ring bit, and either he married her or she moved out. Stupid, stupid move to deliver this kind of ultimatum. You can't "ultimatum" a man into marrying you and ever expect it to work out right, girls. Scott didn't want to lose Sharon, but he didn't want to get married. What followed was a recipe for disaster.
As they prepared for the wedding, Scott proceeded to dump on me more and more about how he didn't want to get married. I kept telling him he needed to tell SHARON this, and not me, but he kept moaning about how he didn't want her to break things off with him. They both were being stupid: Sharon for forcing Scott to propose; Scott for being a pussy and not willing to stand up for what he felt and face the consequences. Two weeks before the marriage took place, he flat out tried to kiss me and talked about how badly he wanted to be with me instead. Long story on how that came about and how I handed it, but the short version is that he didn't get to finish that kiss and I told him that I would never hurt a friend by doing ANYTHING with her significant other. Awkward.
I was to take care of their cats while they were on their honeymoon to England. So, when Scott called me the second they returned, I thought foolishly that it was due to him wanting to tell me they were back so I'd know the cats were ok. But no, that's not why Scott called. Sharon was in the shower and he had to tell me all about how he thought of ME while they were on their honeymoon. My god. I reminded him he was married now and so he had to think of Sharon, not other women, but that seemed to have no effect. The folks at work had to check on me right after that phone call (he had called me at work!) because I was in the bathroom sobbing. I know I'm a flirt, so I wondered, did I encourage him? How do I stop this without hurting Sharon, all while keeping Scott's friendship too which I valued? How does one remove oneself from a situation like this but keep everything "the way it was?" The answer, of course, is that you can't. I tried all manner of things for the next few months to try to keep our little threesome going because I LOVED our times together and I didn't want to lose them.
However, Scott left me flowers. Love notes on my car. Balloons. All the things no guy I actually dated ever did to me (until now Alex hehe). It was hard for me to tell him to stop because I had never GOTTEN that kind of attention before. Sharon started confessing to me that she was foolish to pressure Scott into marrying her because she knew he wanted to wander and had no idea what to do. What was I supposed to tell her? Yes, you're right, and he wants ME? I can't even describe how I felt there.
Then Sharon did something that I guess she felt she 'had' to do, but something I've never forgiven her for. She told Scott that she'd 'allow' him to have one affair with one person just to 'get it out of his system', but that it HAD to be me or nobody else or she'd break things off with him and leave him. She did this deliberately because she KNEW how I felt about running off with a married/taken man. She KNEW I'd feel obligated to resist, but this way *I* got to be the bad guy and *SHE* got to be the good guy. She didn't tell me she did this directly--Scott did--but when I did some gentle queries in her direction about what she told Scott, she confirmed it. Sigh.
The second incident that happened--an event which sealed the fate of our friendships--was the day I called in sick to work. I had a bad cold, and so I had not only stayed home but called up my friend Rick and whined at him that I was ill. Rick came over to keep me company, so he was present when Scott showed up. See, Scott had been expected to drop off a friend of his at the airport, and when he was done doing just that, he decided to drop in at my workplace to see me. He realized when he arrived that my car was not in the parking lot, so he asked them where I was. They told him I was sick. He bought a dozen longstem red roses, four get well balloons, and had another long love note he had written (complete with drawn out cartoons...ok, I'll admit that his cartoons were always entertaining). I hear a knock; I answer the door, and there is Scott standing there with all his items. I turned pale and went speechless to such an extent that Rick, seeing me from his angle on the sofa, lept up and ran to the door to see what was the matter. Rick and Scott knew each other, and Rick was just as surprised to see Scott as the opposite.
Scott was jealous Rick was there. Rick was amused that Scott was there. I fussed at Scott and told him to take the roses back to his WIFE and to tell her that they were from him, and to never do this again. He didn't want to do that. The phone rang. It was Sharon, sobbing because Scott was THREE HOURS LATE from his trip back from the airport and she didn't know where he was. "Oh, I bet he's just hung up somewhere, Sharon," I replied in a mysterious yet tightly controlled voice. "If he's not home within a half hour, call me and I'll help you search for him." I hung up the phone and snarled at Scott, "You worried her! Take the damn flowers and go back home to her and apologize for being so late. Be romantic. Take her out to eat, do whatever, but don't EVER put me in this position again as LONG as you live!" He left the balloons because "get well" was not an appropriate message to give his wife. Sharon called me up later to say he arrived, then added in a confused tone, "He bought me flowers...he never buys me flowers anymore, but he DOES know that I don't like roses...why did he get me roses?"
Sigh.
So, the friendship ended. And I dreamed of both of them last night...then woke up suddenly. It wasn't a significant dream, really. Just...they were there, and sleeping, and I accidentally woke them up. Why? Why do we dream of that long buried sometimes? Hmmm....
posted by Kira | 4:26 AM
1 Comments:
Dreams have to mean something. I wonder if there's some significance in the fact that you woke them up in the dream. Like maybe after all this time, you wish you could have screamed at them til they were wide awake not to make the mistakes they were making. At any rate, when stuff you weren't expecting creeps up on you like that, it's unnerving.
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