Most Unusual Request by a Student
I always tell my students that if they come to me BEFORE a test is due and tell me that they can't make it that day for ANY reason, I'll let them take the test ahead of time...but not afterwards. Afterwards means a zero.
So, today one of my students took me up on the offer, and I have to admit: his reasoning is unique.
Basically, he scored a bag of weed for the first time in his college life. He wants to try it out, you see, but he also wants to be straight by the time he goes to church tonight....LOL So at 1130a, a student comes up to me, explains the situation, and asks if he can take the test then and leave to go off to get stoned. The test was supposed to be at 230p on the same day. Aw, hell, I let him do it just for originality's sake. Now THAT is honesty!
*****
Both kids had their annual checkups this past week. They are off schedule from their bday months (long story), so now April is the exam month. They are both healthy, which is a good thing.
Ok, so for Ariana: she has always been at the 50 to 60th % of the growth charts. I figured she took after her father (6') instead of me (5'2'). My whole family is short. I'm the tallest member of the females by several inches. My dad is only 5'6" and my brother Ken is 5'3", so the boys aren't much better. However, this last year she barely grew. She's now at the 25th% for height. Aw, who knows where she'll end up? Her weight is proportional for her height...well, maybe a bit on the skinny side. I was pleased that her blood and urine tests came out great. She eats a balanced, if limited, diet.
And then Jared: he has always been on the 0th% of the growth charts. Yes, you read that correctly...he was OFF the charts in the NEGATIVES because he was barely growing. I figured he'd be my height and that the poor baby was taking after my side. Hey, but he had a growth spurt! He was up to the 10th % for height! WOOHOO! Now, here's the part where I got irritated...
The doctor explains to me that if I am unhappy with my son's height, I can make him have a growth hormone shot every single freaking week for YEARS to give him a few other inches. WHAT??? You want me to torture my perfectly healthy and happy little baby boy just so he reaches some sort of societal standard for height??? There are plenty of midget girls such as myself who would be glad to get a smart, handsome, funny boy like my Jared. Sure, he can't date Amanda, but the age difference would have got 'em anyway! I was flabbergasted (note: gotta love that word...it just rolls off the tongue!). I explained to him carefully that as long as my son was happy and healthy, I saw no reason to basically send him to Plastic Surgery Camp for the Young and torture him to get him taller. Then the doctor--who came from a very tall family and apparently feels like the midget at 5'10"--spent the next 15 min backtracking and stating that he wasn't RECOMMENDING it but just letting me know what my options are. God! If you saw how he reacted to his vaccines, you'd understand how that could never be an option! I don't want to rob my son of his good nature. I think I would if I antagonized him weekly like that with shots for years and years. WHY would I want to do that? He's already got the whole rest of the package. If I made him tall too, he'd make the other men go kill themselves because they could NEVER compete.
And then I got to "help" pin him down per the nurse's request while she gave him three shots. He screamed and begged me to get her to stop. I felt like I was abusing my child. Sigh. I know it's for the best, but I really hate vaccines. At least they gave him a train book so he finds consolation in that.
I'm way behind on grading. Exams are next week. I'm screwed.
Oh, and Chuck? GET OFF YOUR CUTE BUT LAZY ASS AND POST ON YOUR BLOG! Love ya dear!
So, today one of my students took me up on the offer, and I have to admit: his reasoning is unique.
Basically, he scored a bag of weed for the first time in his college life. He wants to try it out, you see, but he also wants to be straight by the time he goes to church tonight....LOL So at 1130a, a student comes up to me, explains the situation, and asks if he can take the test then and leave to go off to get stoned. The test was supposed to be at 230p on the same day. Aw, hell, I let him do it just for originality's sake. Now THAT is honesty!
*****
Both kids had their annual checkups this past week. They are off schedule from their bday months (long story), so now April is the exam month. They are both healthy, which is a good thing.
Ok, so for Ariana: she has always been at the 50 to 60th % of the growth charts. I figured she took after her father (6') instead of me (5'2'). My whole family is short. I'm the tallest member of the females by several inches. My dad is only 5'6" and my brother Ken is 5'3", so the boys aren't much better. However, this last year she barely grew. She's now at the 25th% for height. Aw, who knows where she'll end up? Her weight is proportional for her height...well, maybe a bit on the skinny side. I was pleased that her blood and urine tests came out great. She eats a balanced, if limited, diet.
And then Jared: he has always been on the 0th% of the growth charts. Yes, you read that correctly...he was OFF the charts in the NEGATIVES because he was barely growing. I figured he'd be my height and that the poor baby was taking after my side. Hey, but he had a growth spurt! He was up to the 10th % for height! WOOHOO! Now, here's the part where I got irritated...
The doctor explains to me that if I am unhappy with my son's height, I can make him have a growth hormone shot every single freaking week for YEARS to give him a few other inches. WHAT??? You want me to torture my perfectly healthy and happy little baby boy just so he reaches some sort of societal standard for height??? There are plenty of midget girls such as myself who would be glad to get a smart, handsome, funny boy like my Jared. Sure, he can't date Amanda, but the age difference would have got 'em anyway! I was flabbergasted (note: gotta love that word...it just rolls off the tongue!). I explained to him carefully that as long as my son was happy and healthy, I saw no reason to basically send him to Plastic Surgery Camp for the Young and torture him to get him taller. Then the doctor--who came from a very tall family and apparently feels like the midget at 5'10"--spent the next 15 min backtracking and stating that he wasn't RECOMMENDING it but just letting me know what my options are. God! If you saw how he reacted to his vaccines, you'd understand how that could never be an option! I don't want to rob my son of his good nature. I think I would if I antagonized him weekly like that with shots for years and years. WHY would I want to do that? He's already got the whole rest of the package. If I made him tall too, he'd make the other men go kill themselves because they could NEVER compete.
And then I got to "help" pin him down per the nurse's request while she gave him three shots. He screamed and begged me to get her to stop. I felt like I was abusing my child. Sigh. I know it's for the best, but I really hate vaccines. At least they gave him a train book so he finds consolation in that.
I'm way behind on grading. Exams are next week. I'm screwed.
Oh, and Chuck? GET OFF YOUR CUTE BUT LAZY ASS AND POST ON YOUR BLOG! Love ya dear!
posted by Kira | 4:39 PM
1 Comments:
Now see - that's why I want to get back into teaching. Faculty never come to their technology training workshops to share weed/church stories. And I miss that kind of thing.
I think you are doing the right thing about the vaccines. It would be crazy to do that to someone. I'm with you - not every woman wants to stand on a stepladder to kiss her man.
Post a Comment
<< Home