Chiquita Banana Nose
Ahhh the wierdness that is my family. Ari and I started an odd tradition before Jared was even born, but when I was pregnant with Jared. It involves Chiquita Banana stickers pulled off of bananas and stuck onto our noses. Basically, she was fussing in the grocery store and I was about to lose my mind instantly (IE, pregnancy hormones). So I pulled a sticker off the bananas and put it on my nose. She stopped fussing. She asked for one too. Hence, the tradition.
Every time I go shopping with my daughter, she asks for the stickers on the nose. We place them on our noses and go through the store, and the rule is this: as long as one of us still has it on, both of us has to have it. If one of us loses her sticker, then the other pulls it off too. Most of the time we make it the whole trip with the sticker on our noses.
What the hell do I care? I'm not there to pick up men anyway. And heck, if a guy won't date me because I like to amuse my daughter by walking around with a sticker on my nose, he can fuck right on off! I don't want him either!
Most people don't notice it. I mean really, how many people do YOU even notice when you're at the grocery? Sometimes people stare blatantly like I need a therapist. Thank you, I have one. Haven't seen her in a while, but I've still got her. Other times, people just laugh. It's our tradition. *WE* think it's freaking hilarious, and that's all that matters to US. Jared thinks it's funny too.
Today the checkout clerk I actively avoid due to supremely low IQ (no really, she's the least mentally gifted grocery store checkout clerk in America) saw our stickers and came over and stared at us. "What's the point of the stickers?" she asked.
Well, the point is FUN, thank you.
Then to prove my point about being mentally challenged, she said that spoons are better to stick to your nose because then you get all the ice cream.
Oohhhh kay. Thanks for sharing.
I remember a group of my students at The Premiere Technical College gathering around my desk after my English 101 class one time, and we just decided to chat as we had free time. There were about eight of them. For some reason the Chiquita Banana Sticker custom came up. They all thought that was hilarious. "Don't you care that other people are staring at you?" one asked. I shrugged. "What other people do isn't my problem. I just live my life the way I want to, and ignore the rest. It's like when I sing in my car. Loudly. With nobody IN the car. Folks think I'm talking to myself and plain nuts. They get out of the way. They drive on faster. More road for me! WOOHOO!"
I'm thrilled that I have a seven year old daughter who will smack a sticker on her nose and ignores the rest of the store, you know? It bodes well for peer pressure issues later!
Every time I go shopping with my daughter, she asks for the stickers on the nose. We place them on our noses and go through the store, and the rule is this: as long as one of us still has it on, both of us has to have it. If one of us loses her sticker, then the other pulls it off too. Most of the time we make it the whole trip with the sticker on our noses.
What the hell do I care? I'm not there to pick up men anyway. And heck, if a guy won't date me because I like to amuse my daughter by walking around with a sticker on my nose, he can fuck right on off! I don't want him either!
Most people don't notice it. I mean really, how many people do YOU even notice when you're at the grocery? Sometimes people stare blatantly like I need a therapist. Thank you, I have one. Haven't seen her in a while, but I've still got her. Other times, people just laugh. It's our tradition. *WE* think it's freaking hilarious, and that's all that matters to US. Jared thinks it's funny too.
Today the checkout clerk I actively avoid due to supremely low IQ (no really, she's the least mentally gifted grocery store checkout clerk in America) saw our stickers and came over and stared at us. "What's the point of the stickers?" she asked.
Well, the point is FUN, thank you.
Then to prove my point about being mentally challenged, she said that spoons are better to stick to your nose because then you get all the ice cream.
Oohhhh kay. Thanks for sharing.
I remember a group of my students at The Premiere Technical College gathering around my desk after my English 101 class one time, and we just decided to chat as we had free time. There were about eight of them. For some reason the Chiquita Banana Sticker custom came up. They all thought that was hilarious. "Don't you care that other people are staring at you?" one asked. I shrugged. "What other people do isn't my problem. I just live my life the way I want to, and ignore the rest. It's like when I sing in my car. Loudly. With nobody IN the car. Folks think I'm talking to myself and plain nuts. They get out of the way. They drive on faster. More road for me! WOOHOO!"
I'm thrilled that I have a seven year old daughter who will smack a sticker on her nose and ignores the rest of the store, you know? It bodes well for peer pressure issues later!
posted by Kira | 5:17 PM
10 Comments:
KUDOS to both of you! When I show up in Vegas, I'm gonna have a banana sticker on my nose. That's how you'll recognize me!
I think I'd notice you!
Now I've got the Chiquita banana song in my head...thanks!
"I'm a Chiquita banana and I'm here to reveal, the way to find a great banana is on the peel"
We've got a cashier with dead eyes at our local grocer. She's got a beautiful speech impediment, too. Poor thing.
Cute story! If I ever spot a lady in the grocery store with a banana sticker on her nose I'll introduce myself to you! :)
Kira -- I think you are my funnier, nicer twin. I did the sticker thing when I was a child -- learned to read when I was 3 -- and other similarities. I will have to go through your archive and read more.
Yeah, you'd be noticeable. I totally would get a kick out of it.
Gota have fun :O)
Bravo! Anna's 15, but we may have to try this next time we're in the grocery store. It sounds like fun!
I love it!
"The point is fun"
I think that's my new slogan. You're so right...
Mandy--woohoo! Banana stickers for everybody! who needs tshirts for easy identification?
Laura--you crack me up because of your professional notation there (IE, speech impediment). It reminds me of when my dad was just married to my mom and they saw a full poster of Raquel Welsh in a bikini. My dad immediately started going off about what class maloclusion she had (teeth--he is a retired orthodontist). Haha!
WM--yes, we do the sticker thing in any grocery store in any state! It'd be a woman in her 30's with a 7 year old adorable blonde child and a cute brown haired 4 yr old! Just the girls with the banana stickers though!
Innana--well, I already know from FW that you were an adjunct instructor like I am now too, as well! I would have killed to study in England. I've been in and out of the country as I have a few friends who live there, and I can't imagine how wonderful it would have been to study early English lit while LIVING in the middle of the evidence of that time and place!
Amanda--but can you really BLAME her for being fixated on grocery stores? I can't! haha!
CS--ok, so that means if you show up in the grocery store and I realize you are Chief Slacker, I slap a sticker on your nose too :)
Angie--it's fun. And I'll be so impressed if Anna does it too! I mean, it's one thing to get a 7 year old to do something like this, but quite another to get a teen to do it! haha!
Jezzy--thanks!
NWJR--Yeah, actually, if you want all of life summed up, that'd do it, right? :)
Ha!! We used to do that growing up!! In fact, I've got one on my nose right now simply because I can. I found your blog post when I googled banana stickers because I wanted to show my husband that I wasn't the only one out there :)
Post a Comment
<< Home