Nudity
"Today's post is brought to you by the letter N!"
Sorry, too much Sesame Street as a child.
This evening as my children run around out of a bath (Jared) and shower (Ariana), I ponder nudity and the unclothed.
It started last night. My dear friend Shana stayed the night with her son Harvest. Shana is, unfortunately, my ex's brother's wife. I say "unfortunately" because after the divorce, I have periodically fretted that I would lose her due to the collapse of my marriage. I KNOW it stresses her at times to feel torn between loyalties to her husband and loyalties to me, one of her best friends. She hates conflict. Unlike me, who goes into battle girded with sword and spear, she prefers to Hide In Shadows and let others do the battle cries. Ok, that was a geek reference. So sue me. Anyway, Shana's son is only three months older than Jared. We were pregnant at the same time (for six months at least). I was four months pregnant when I cooked for fourty people and threw her a baby shower. You should understand my obessive compulsive issues when you realize that I was exhausted, pregnant, fighting nonstop with my husband...yet I managed to make a ham, chili, homemade guacamole, salsa, taboule, crab dip, shrimp platter, mushroom piroshkis, tiny quiches, etc. for fourty people ALL BY MYSELF. And little place cards. I actually ordered the cake from Publix. Who can blame me? I worked on that stuff with a 2 year old tugging at my ankles for many days.
Shoot, I'm rambling crazily more than usual. Let me get back on topic.
Ok, nakedness. Last night. Shana, Harvest, my kids.
So Shana tries to force Harvest to keep his clothes on. Harvest turns five in September and apparently HATES his clothes. I tried so hard not to laugh because she convinced him to keep his underwear on, but as it came closer and closer to bedtime, he inched his underwear halfway down his butt. By morning, he was nude and running around the house. I thought it was kind of funny. I had a hard time convincing my seven year old daughter she couldn't join him by running around nude too....haha!
Nudity. What is it? The Greeks used to do the Olympics in the nude...yet whenever we, modern people, see nudity we think SEX SEX SEX FUCK ME! How did the unclothed body become purely sexualized? And this is what Harvest's untold glee, running around my house bareassed, caused me to ponder.
I remember working at the Office of Child Support when I was pregnant. Note: I am even MORE blunt and brutal when pregnant. It's scary. I was talking to this fella who was rather conservative and prudish, and he told me how horrified he was that he was in Spain (his wife is Spanish), and they went to a hospital to see a woman who had just given birth. "The baby cried, and she just...she just...whipped out her BREAST and FED him!" he told me in a hushed, horrified voice reserved for things like, "Oh god, and then he buried the body in the backyard," or, "and then she voted for Bush, Jr!"
My response was immediate and scathing.
"What the HELL do you think BREASTS are FOR???? YOU? You must be crazy! Those are for babies! You get 'em on loan! All you saw was their intended use. What the HELL is your problem????"
He gaped at me, and started sputtering things about boobies being sexualized in modern culture and so they should not be exposed. I cut him off again.
"The baby was hungry. You want her to let the baby cry and starve 'cause you are in the room? What the hell is WRONG with you? You can't see a breastfeeding baby without getting an ERECTION? It sounds like a personal issue to me!"
He was now as white as a sheet and sputtered a lot. I tend to do that to people when I'm on a roll. I'm not sure why. Anyway, I continued with a lengthy explanation on how breastfeeding was natural, how it was great for the baby, and how if he didn't want to see it, he had the option of walking out that door. And how if other people didn't want to see HIM eat dinner with his mouth open or a stupid grin on his face, they could turn around and leave too. I berated him for assuming that nudity equalled sex, and told him he needed therapy. Then I stomped out of the room.
Oddly, an hour later he sought me out, told me I was right, and asked me to have lunch with him. I still haven't figured out how I get away with being a bitch. Hum.
My parents are conservative, Catholic, Republicans, don't be nude in front of me, If I say sex I blush people. They are GOOD people...the best! But I was not raised to have these ideals. Trust me. My parents spent their whole lives screaming, "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" to me. My other three siblings were never like that, so I don't know what happened. Did they drop me on my head?
So last night, I watched Harvest run and run around the house nude, and I thought: lucky bastard. If I stripped nude and joined him, I'd be called a pervert, pedophile, disgusting freak, etc. I don't really like clothes much either. In the summer, when the kids aren't in the house, I'm nude. I'm not a nudist. I don't WANT to walk around other nude people all day. It's just more comfortable for me.
Why does nudity conjure up so many different ideas and images depending on who is nude and who is viewing it?
Poor Alex added to my thoughts this morning by mentioning that he was mortified and embarrassed because he was forced to go with his father's good friend Robert and his wife and their children (Alain was the boy he was friends with) to a...nudist camp for the day. Ok, I couldn't stop laughing. Alex is really a prude when I am not. My job is to make him blush and I manage to do so daily. ALEX in a NUDIST CAMP!!!! Fuck. That could be a MOVIE that we'd ALL pay to see! haha!
I had a million reactions when he told me. The first was, oh crap, you saw your dad's good friend's WIFE nude? Then, you were ten and you had to hang out with your good friend Alain....NUDE??? I joked about it, and Shana started cracking me up. I love her sense of humor. We looked at the site of the nudist camp that Alex showed us he was forced to see, and it advertised THREE NUDE SHOPPING MALLS! Shana dryly quipped, what the hell do they sell? Surely not clothes! haha! Then she added, maybe they sell bags since the nudists obiviously have no pockets...oh god I laughed my ass off, and so did Alex.
Then I wondered about my reaction. WHAT is wrong with nudity? What about my response tells me how much I am affected by the modern ideals of modesty and equating nudity to sex? I teased that man about breastfeeding (and ok, I still would, I'm big on breastfeeding), but...could a nudist make fun of me in the same way? Why is it ok for me to run around nude alone in my apartment, or obviously when Alex is around, but I don't around other people? Sure, I'll change around Shana or some of my closest female friends or my mom or my sister, but why is it such an issue to be nude around others? Why do I react like it's odd? What IS nudity?
I haven't figured it out. I really haven't. It's just...a series of thoughts, of rambles. Sorry...
Sorry, too much Sesame Street as a child.
This evening as my children run around out of a bath (Jared) and shower (Ariana), I ponder nudity and the unclothed.
It started last night. My dear friend Shana stayed the night with her son Harvest. Shana is, unfortunately, my ex's brother's wife. I say "unfortunately" because after the divorce, I have periodically fretted that I would lose her due to the collapse of my marriage. I KNOW it stresses her at times to feel torn between loyalties to her husband and loyalties to me, one of her best friends. She hates conflict. Unlike me, who goes into battle girded with sword and spear, she prefers to Hide In Shadows and let others do the battle cries. Ok, that was a geek reference. So sue me. Anyway, Shana's son is only three months older than Jared. We were pregnant at the same time (for six months at least). I was four months pregnant when I cooked for fourty people and threw her a baby shower. You should understand my obessive compulsive issues when you realize that I was exhausted, pregnant, fighting nonstop with my husband...yet I managed to make a ham, chili, homemade guacamole, salsa, taboule, crab dip, shrimp platter, mushroom piroshkis, tiny quiches, etc. for fourty people ALL BY MYSELF. And little place cards. I actually ordered the cake from Publix. Who can blame me? I worked on that stuff with a 2 year old tugging at my ankles for many days.
Shoot, I'm rambling crazily more than usual. Let me get back on topic.
Ok, nakedness. Last night. Shana, Harvest, my kids.
So Shana tries to force Harvest to keep his clothes on. Harvest turns five in September and apparently HATES his clothes. I tried so hard not to laugh because she convinced him to keep his underwear on, but as it came closer and closer to bedtime, he inched his underwear halfway down his butt. By morning, he was nude and running around the house. I thought it was kind of funny. I had a hard time convincing my seven year old daughter she couldn't join him by running around nude too....haha!
Nudity. What is it? The Greeks used to do the Olympics in the nude...yet whenever we, modern people, see nudity we think SEX SEX SEX FUCK ME! How did the unclothed body become purely sexualized? And this is what Harvest's untold glee, running around my house bareassed, caused me to ponder.
I remember working at the Office of Child Support when I was pregnant. Note: I am even MORE blunt and brutal when pregnant. It's scary. I was talking to this fella who was rather conservative and prudish, and he told me how horrified he was that he was in Spain (his wife is Spanish), and they went to a hospital to see a woman who had just given birth. "The baby cried, and she just...she just...whipped out her BREAST and FED him!" he told me in a hushed, horrified voice reserved for things like, "Oh god, and then he buried the body in the backyard," or, "and then she voted for Bush, Jr!"
My response was immediate and scathing.
"What the HELL do you think BREASTS are FOR???? YOU? You must be crazy! Those are for babies! You get 'em on loan! All you saw was their intended use. What the HELL is your problem????"
He gaped at me, and started sputtering things about boobies being sexualized in modern culture and so they should not be exposed. I cut him off again.
"The baby was hungry. You want her to let the baby cry and starve 'cause you are in the room? What the hell is WRONG with you? You can't see a breastfeeding baby without getting an ERECTION? It sounds like a personal issue to me!"
He was now as white as a sheet and sputtered a lot. I tend to do that to people when I'm on a roll. I'm not sure why. Anyway, I continued with a lengthy explanation on how breastfeeding was natural, how it was great for the baby, and how if he didn't want to see it, he had the option of walking out that door. And how if other people didn't want to see HIM eat dinner with his mouth open or a stupid grin on his face, they could turn around and leave too. I berated him for assuming that nudity equalled sex, and told him he needed therapy. Then I stomped out of the room.
Oddly, an hour later he sought me out, told me I was right, and asked me to have lunch with him. I still haven't figured out how I get away with being a bitch. Hum.
My parents are conservative, Catholic, Republicans, don't be nude in front of me, If I say sex I blush people. They are GOOD people...the best! But I was not raised to have these ideals. Trust me. My parents spent their whole lives screaming, "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" to me. My other three siblings were never like that, so I don't know what happened. Did they drop me on my head?
So last night, I watched Harvest run and run around the house nude, and I thought: lucky bastard. If I stripped nude and joined him, I'd be called a pervert, pedophile, disgusting freak, etc. I don't really like clothes much either. In the summer, when the kids aren't in the house, I'm nude. I'm not a nudist. I don't WANT to walk around other nude people all day. It's just more comfortable for me.
Why does nudity conjure up so many different ideas and images depending on who is nude and who is viewing it?
Poor Alex added to my thoughts this morning by mentioning that he was mortified and embarrassed because he was forced to go with his father's good friend Robert and his wife and their children (Alain was the boy he was friends with) to a...nudist camp for the day. Ok, I couldn't stop laughing. Alex is really a prude when I am not. My job is to make him blush and I manage to do so daily. ALEX in a NUDIST CAMP!!!! Fuck. That could be a MOVIE that we'd ALL pay to see! haha!
I had a million reactions when he told me. The first was, oh crap, you saw your dad's good friend's WIFE nude? Then, you were ten and you had to hang out with your good friend Alain....NUDE??? I joked about it, and Shana started cracking me up. I love her sense of humor. We looked at the site of the nudist camp that Alex showed us he was forced to see, and it advertised THREE NUDE SHOPPING MALLS! Shana dryly quipped, what the hell do they sell? Surely not clothes! haha! Then she added, maybe they sell bags since the nudists obiviously have no pockets...oh god I laughed my ass off, and so did Alex.
Then I wondered about my reaction. WHAT is wrong with nudity? What about my response tells me how much I am affected by the modern ideals of modesty and equating nudity to sex? I teased that man about breastfeeding (and ok, I still would, I'm big on breastfeeding), but...could a nudist make fun of me in the same way? Why is it ok for me to run around nude alone in my apartment, or obviously when Alex is around, but I don't around other people? Sure, I'll change around Shana or some of my closest female friends or my mom or my sister, but why is it such an issue to be nude around others? Why do I react like it's odd? What IS nudity?
I haven't figured it out. I really haven't. It's just...a series of thoughts, of rambles. Sorry...
posted by Kira | 6:06 PM
7 Comments:
First time visitor here. Interesting thoughts and well presented.
Cheers!
I used to embarrass the hell out of my friend from S. Dakota by whipping out my boob to feed my kid. I didn't want to miss out on anything. I figured I could cover up with a blanket and no one is the wiser. She, on the other hand, would PUMP if she expected guests. I don't think my kids would know what to do with a bottle if they saw one.
I love how kids can run around naked. I let my kids play outside in the nude. It's probably not the smartest thing to do. We've got a hedge of flowers that blocks the view of most of the traffic. We also have one very disapproving neighbor who walks her dog by our house and frowns at my naked kids!
Which nudist camp did Alex go to? It wasn't La Jenny by Bordeaux was it? We used to laugh about that place. You know what? Nudists are generally the LAST people on earth who should be running around naked. If you want to desexualize nudity...go to a nudist camp!!!
I'll never forget how liberating it was to pull the bathing suit top off at the beach in France. I absolutely loved it!
It makes me think of the Seinfeld show where Elaine's date "took 'it' out." But later he was apalled at a woman breast feeding in public.
It was at the Cap D'Agde (famous place for holidays in France). I lived for a year and a half in the South of France. I was at the Gros D'Agde, about two miles further along the coast.
I was very very embarassed by the whole nudity thing. And nervous. I can't remember much except the time I saw about 4/5 retired people drnking pastis and playing Petanque (french game) naked. weird.
I like being mostly naked LOL. Around Kira I like being fully naked :D
All French beaches are topless yep :)
Why not? The men are topless after all and all we are covering up are the male and female reproductive parts.
CD--thanks!
Amanda--it is taking all I have, every piece of restraint I possess, not to put at the top of my blog something like, Amanda says I'll get naked in front of pretty much anyone! haha! But yeah, I know what you mean. My main reason for not being nude more around more people is that...well...they'll get embarrassed or upset. And I don't get the "don't breastfeed anywhere I can see it!" shit AT ALL.
Laura--my daughter is just now getting told that, at seven, she should probably not run around nude around other people. However, she is thrilled that she is allowed to run around in her panties in the house any time she wants as long as it is her, me, and Jared. I'd let her go totally nude, but my four year old is a pervert. He LOVES breasts most of all, but a good ol' vagina will do in a pinch. Jared runs around nude periodically and neither Ari nor I blink. Why not? Enjoy it while you can!
Angie--yeah, that makes sense to me. I mean, why can men take off their tops and not women just 'cause we have fat under OUR nipples? Stupid.
Lejnd--exactly it! I had a gf at the Office of Child Support who TOLD me when I was pregnant there, you aren't going to be one of those women who breastfeed in a restaurant are you? When I reminded her that she'd fuck anything, anywhere, even on a public table...and that breastfeeding was a good thing, and that if SHE took her dinner into the bathroom, I'd take my child's dinner there too...she shut up. Sometimes, folks just need to have it pointed out to them all logical an' all ;)
Alex my love--yes, and I like that you are nude around me most of the time. This is a GOOD thing! And I'll take the boxers only approach you do around the kids as a substitute any time! haha!
April--I researched it because...I'm geeky like that...and what I found is that nudity issues should be directed by the child after three years of age. That is, if the child says he or she doesn't want to be nude or around nude people at that point, respect it. Otherwise, it shouldn't be an issue. My kids see me nude often enough (I leave the bathroom door open when I shower 'cause they might need me, and I leave my bedroom door open when I change), but I tend to lounge around in underwear rather than totally nude if the kids are here. Why? See previous comment about my son's facination with breasts and vaginas. Haha! Let your son direct when it is not ok and ok to be nude around him is my best suggestion. My friend Shana--the one mentioned in this post!--had parents who changed and walked from one room to the other nude all the time throughout her whole life, and her mom even does it around me when I'm at the house. She tells me that she just thought it was normal and never bothered her, and she was an adult before she realized other folks weren't as relaxed.
I am a "nude" at home person but have done a nude beach or two in my youth. I hate clothes.
To kill two posts with one comment see my note on breast feeding and nudity - http://forwardho.blogspot.com/2005/06/i-am-not-news-blog.html
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