I Hate This Photo!
I really do. I just am NOT photogenic. This picture was taken by one of my students at Premiere Tech. The student in question is a sweetheart, although he's a little fixated on taking my picture. He also took one of me and alex when we were at school one day...
Yes, Alex's eyes are half closed...oopsie!
He also took about five or six other ones, and one of them was NOT one I agreed for him to do. He just sorta...snapped it from the side when I was sitting on the desk and teaching. I sit on the desk when I teach because the podium is anal, and I can't sit behind the desk because I'm a midget.
A woman that once worked with my ex was a former Miss South Carolina. She won the "Most Photogenic" contest. A girl had asked what that meant, and this older woman said snidely, "That's when the photo looks better than YOU do," and I know I shouldn't have laughed, but....I did. Bad me! I am NOT photogenic. My sister is, however, so I know it's not a family trait. My son is photogenic; my daughter is not. My daughter is GORGEOUS, but I was trying to find a picture that expressed it...nope, none. She has her momma's curse. My son, however, has some adorable ones! EVEN when he has not a scrap of a smile on him!
I wonder why the camera favors some and not others?
*********
Second topic for this blistery hot night...
Ever KNOW you shouldn't feel one way but do it anyway? I mean, your intellect screams, you are being irrational, stop it! But your emotions just run away with you anyway? You end up doing stupid things like picturing how satisfying it would be to take a bottle and crack it open over somebody's head? Or measuring every word, afraid that if you didn't you'd say something you'd regret profoundly later on?
WHY?
Why does one feel one way DESPITE the logical brain saying, dumb ass, stop it????
GAH
I hate that. I hate how we can't just realize what is logical and illogical behavior, and then fix it as necessary. If I could do that, I'd be so much nicer of a person to have as a friend or lover...haha!
Oh well.
posted by Kira | 4:57 PM
10 Comments:
The camera's certainly don't favor me dearest. But I think you look stunning on the pics you posted!
I look terrible as usual.
That's a great pic of Jared too.
#1 I'm not a lesbian, but if I were, I'd say you were one hot babe. Okay, I'll say it anyway. You're one hot babe. (and Alex is a cutie...and just my type! If you ever get rid of him, send him my way!!)
#2 Ignoring logic to follow irrational, emotion-driven behavior? This wasn't about ME, was it??
Love you baby!! (I mean that in a perfectly hetero kinda way.)
In the first photo you looks eerily like one of the girls in my high school graduating class, to the degree that I actually had to look closely for a few moment to make sure it wasn't her. Eerie. :P Well, eerie, and I think you were rather exaggerating about not being photogenic. :P
As for the emotion vs. logic thing... Yeah, I know what you mean about that. It's frustrating. Darn clinically-cold brain-voice, stop ruining my life! :P
First topic...you've got some GREAT hair! Sorry you don't think you're photogenic. I think you look great, as does your student who obviously has a giant crush on you. HOT FOR TEACHER! :)
Second topic...yeah...all the freakin' time! That's what my blog is all about! Going from logic, I'm moving in the right direction. My feelings want to squash my ex-husband like a bug...which would betray the logic. See...if I hadn't had feelings for him, I'd be A-OK with the logical line of thought. However, since this is a nasty-assed divorce, I'm all about flying off the handle with my feelings. Sucks.
Alex--you look good in nearly all the pictures I have of you. I can only think of one picture I have of you wherein I went, well, that's not a particularly good one of my darling.
Mandy--haha! Thanks, dear! I appreciate it! And no, although those comments COULD apply to you and your current situation, I was thinking of myself. I just don't like having a logical brain and not being able to program my emotions through it. An incident that happened this week leaves me clearly in the knowledge that, whether or not I want to be occasionally irrational...I AM!
Ency--one day when I'm visiting my brother in Raleigh and you are at Duke, I'll stop by (with cookies!) and show you what I mean. Photos just don't look like ME, and I look better in real life than just about every photo there is.
Laura--thanks! The hair is due to be ten inches shorter this September. I'll probably post a picture if I can get a friend to take one at that time (it'll still be long, but it's ten inches to locks of love time in September).
I think I was at my worse point of "all over the board" right before the divorce went through. Some days I wanted to kill him; some days I wanted to just wallow in a mud pit of self pity, thinking about what I should have done, etc. Yet, I knew that I had made the right decision to get out...everybody who knew me agreed. Hell, even some of his family agreed! I think you've pinned it, though: you had feelings for him, so there is no indifference. The worst thing you can feel for a person is indifference because it means you don't care. Easy enough to not be illogical then. But either hate or love are powerful emotions, and anger comes in a close second. There's no logic in the brain when you're feeling one of those emotions!
Those pics are not bad, and both of your kids are gorgeous. The heat is killing me too. Clemson should not be a walking campus in middle of July. I swear I melted yesterday.
That first pic shows how beautiful your hair color is, I think. I can just picture Jared saying, "But I've never been to China!" when I look at his cute little photo!
Logic... blah. Sometimes intuition is better. Of course, the trick is knowing when it's your intuition talking or self-doubt or soemthing like that, which you shouldn't listen to.
Cameras are evil. Evil!!
Having said that, I liked your piccies - you have gorgeous hair.
Hehe, alrighty, I shall look forward to seeing ou (and cookies)! :P
Besides the poor framing of the picture, I think you look pretty good in it! :O) And the heart and brain are almost always going to be at war. I jsut gave up on trying to rationalize it!
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