More News From No Social Filter Woman
Yeah, this one made even ME realize...oh shit, what did I say...and start laughing while my head was burried underneath my grading book.
So, we have this projector in the classroom. I was trying to figure out how we'd reach it when the kids did their speeches if they needed it for power point. I'm a midget, and this sucker was UP HIGH. One of the students pointed out that there should be a remote for the projector. I nodded and hunted for it because this idea made perfect sense to me.
Well, when I found it, this student from the front row asked for the remote to see how it worked. I agreed. He couldn't stop playing with the thing. I tried to start lecturing, and he wouldn't put the sucker down. He kept reducing the picture size gleefully. I told him to give me the remote. He did not want to give up the remote. It reminded me of a man asked to give up his penis. I suppose that's why I said what I said...well...uh....*coughs*
Me: Give me the remote
Him: Awww but I want it!
Me: Give me the remote
Him: Wait, wait! I can make it bigger!
Me: Oh god, I've heard THAT one before! HOW like a man!
Yes, the class lost it.
Yes, even for ME that one was a little awful...haha!
Oh well. At least nobody falls asleep in my classes.
So, we have this projector in the classroom. I was trying to figure out how we'd reach it when the kids did their speeches if they needed it for power point. I'm a midget, and this sucker was UP HIGH. One of the students pointed out that there should be a remote for the projector. I nodded and hunted for it because this idea made perfect sense to me.
Well, when I found it, this student from the front row asked for the remote to see how it worked. I agreed. He couldn't stop playing with the thing. I tried to start lecturing, and he wouldn't put the sucker down. He kept reducing the picture size gleefully. I told him to give me the remote. He did not want to give up the remote. It reminded me of a man asked to give up his penis. I suppose that's why I said what I said...well...uh....*coughs*
Me: Give me the remote
Him: Awww but I want it!
Me: Give me the remote
Him: Wait, wait! I can make it bigger!
Me: Oh god, I've heard THAT one before! HOW like a man!
Yes, the class lost it.
Yes, even for ME that one was a little awful...haha!
Oh well. At least nobody falls asleep in my classes.
posted by Kira | 5:09 PM
10 Comments:
Did the student die ? Is he now changing his name and having surgery to change his looks ?
That will haunt him for life!!
You rock dearest!
I'm picturing one of my students with ADHD, 12 years older, sitting in your class with the remote in hand...he's probably been that way for life. I bet he drops the class!
Ah, the things that slip out. This happens to me all the time, like you said, no one sleeps in my classes either :) The other day I was discussing a type of body tissue and subconsciously (clearly) decided that it was a good time to point out that this tissue was the reason why vaginal sex was safer than anal sex when it comes to rips in tissue and transmission of STDs. Needless to say the words "anal sex" perked everyone up!
But did you tell them about beating a rabbit to death??
How's this for coincidence? I went to the local newspaper's site immediately after reading your blog. What's the first title I see in the sports section?
SMALL WONDERS: AT PENDLETON, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER
Alex--well, I knew you'd laugh your ass off on that one ;) I still remember that time I mouthed off about something in class one day and a student asked you, Is she always like this? and you grinned and replied, Yes, she IS always perfect. Haha!
Laura--yes, I believe he's been this way all his life too. However, I honestly would be surprised if this guy drops the class. He SHOULD...he's a lousy writer and didn't even bother to turn in one of the papers so far, and he's not getting the help he needs to get through the class (help I offer with shocking regularity). But, this student is not phased by much in the way of embarrassment. He's oblivious.
MR--yeah, I can see how that worked! I always imagine after giving off a tidbit like that, a student runs off and screams, "GUESS WHAT I LEARNED IN CLASS TODAY?" haha! Hey, at least they learned something useful!
Amanda--LMAO!!! What a great and appropriate title!
I agree with Alex that the poor student is marked for the rest of his academic career. HA! That's awesome!!
GREAT line! This sort of thing (among other things) is why you're my hero!!
:-)
Maybe no social filter, but definitely performing a social service. The next time someone asks that schmeckel to give her the remote, he'll hand the fucker over. Oops, my bad mood is shining through. Need more chocolate to mask the PMS. [Runs to kitchen.]
That's great!!
I see no lack of social filter, he practically asked for that one.
No teacher should ever go to school without a full complement of bon mots. At least, YOU don't.
Sharp, kid. Sharp indeed.
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