Weeeee!
So, how does one sign off an email to a person one has never met but one REALLY likes?
Sincerely--for formal or business letters
Best Wishes--for Christmas cards
Blessed be--only works for Wiccans
Big Boobie Bye Bye--well, that'd work for my son or April's son
Bye!--not caring enough
Take care!--I do this one, but only for a first email to somebody. Maybe the first two. After that, I feel like I know 'em a little better than that sort of sign off indicates
I can't say "Love, Kira" because people think you're wack when you sign something that affectionate and you've never met 'em. I have tried Luv, Wuv, Hugs and Kisses, and all variants, but they feel wierd on me. Sort of like putting on a pair of tidy whities and putting a dress on over them to head out to shop.
I need to make up a new sign off that imparts the following: "HEY! I really like you tons, and if we were to hang out in person, I know we'd love each other and be the best of friends. I think we're heading to be fantastic net buddies, and I adore you! You so rock! Damn, I'm lucky you are writing back to me!"
But how does one condense all of that into a sign-off?
I dunno.
Let's say it's "Terrifically Shazam!" Yeah, that's it! From now on, I'm signing some of my emails with "Terrifically Shazam!" as a way to say all of what I listed above. There, finished!
*****
Yeah, drinking a glass of shiraz right now. It's been a rough day. Remember how I'll talk about things that piss me off or upset me, but if it REALLY bothers me, I have a hard time discussing the issue at hand? Yeah, it's one of those. I can sort of give you the parameters though: the ex. An encounter that lasted an hour. Him, totally sober, admitting with tears in his eyes that HE was the COMPLETE AND TOTAL REASON why our marriage collapsed...and then admitting that despite the fact that I just cursed him out over lighting up a cigarette near his asthmatic daughter, he didn't care and wanted me there again.
Then it was followed up by Ariana apparently not liking this idea and rubbing in his face that she was looking forward to me and Alex getting married and having a baby.
Gotta give him credit, his response wasn't as bad as I thought it would be: "I would hate if that were true because I like Alex, and I don't want to have to kill him."
We don't need to go into the rest of the details. Since I still have kids, I can have my glass and then I have to stop. Damnit. I can assure you that when he gets the kids on Monday, Monday night I'll be drunkety drunk drunk. Not TOO drunk since I don't want a hangover as I have to teach on Tuesday, but damn, I'll be straddling that border area.
Sincerely--for formal or business letters
Best Wishes--for Christmas cards
Blessed be--only works for Wiccans
Big Boobie Bye Bye--well, that'd work for my son or April's son
Bye!--not caring enough
Take care!--I do this one, but only for a first email to somebody. Maybe the first two. After that, I feel like I know 'em a little better than that sort of sign off indicates
I can't say "Love, Kira" because people think you're wack when you sign something that affectionate and you've never met 'em. I have tried Luv, Wuv, Hugs and Kisses, and all variants, but they feel wierd on me. Sort of like putting on a pair of tidy whities and putting a dress on over them to head out to shop.
I need to make up a new sign off that imparts the following: "HEY! I really like you tons, and if we were to hang out in person, I know we'd love each other and be the best of friends. I think we're heading to be fantastic net buddies, and I adore you! You so rock! Damn, I'm lucky you are writing back to me!"
But how does one condense all of that into a sign-off?
I dunno.
Let's say it's "Terrifically Shazam!" Yeah, that's it! From now on, I'm signing some of my emails with "Terrifically Shazam!" as a way to say all of what I listed above. There, finished!
*****
Yeah, drinking a glass of shiraz right now. It's been a rough day. Remember how I'll talk about things that piss me off or upset me, but if it REALLY bothers me, I have a hard time discussing the issue at hand? Yeah, it's one of those. I can sort of give you the parameters though: the ex. An encounter that lasted an hour. Him, totally sober, admitting with tears in his eyes that HE was the COMPLETE AND TOTAL REASON why our marriage collapsed...and then admitting that despite the fact that I just cursed him out over lighting up a cigarette near his asthmatic daughter, he didn't care and wanted me there again.
Then it was followed up by Ariana apparently not liking this idea and rubbing in his face that she was looking forward to me and Alex getting married and having a baby.
Gotta give him credit, his response wasn't as bad as I thought it would be: "I would hate if that were true because I like Alex, and I don't want to have to kill him."
We don't need to go into the rest of the details. Since I still have kids, I can have my glass and then I have to stop. Damnit. I can assure you that when he gets the kids on Monday, Monday night I'll be drunkety drunk drunk. Not TOO drunk since I don't want a hangover as I have to teach on Tuesday, but damn, I'll be straddling that border area.
posted by Kira | 4:32 PM
14 Comments:
Oh Dear God, he misses you and wants you there??? It's all his fault???
Let's take this to the next logical level...
Say, for the sake of argument, that you were to dump the perfect man and get back together with the ex (just playing here Alex...won't happen)...
How long until the relapse?
How long until all household chores are yours again?
Tell him to get a maid. Tell him that, best case scenario, he follows a program, gets sober, maintains sobriety for ten years...then and only then is there a chance you can become friends.
Sheesh though...really! Gah! (((shudder)))
I have zero good advice on the man front, since that aspect of my life has provided little drama from which to learn. However, I can give ideas for an ending to an email... I like a simple "Cheers!"
Laura--he can't afford a maid. It's easier to remarry me :) He only lives in the NOW, as in this right here moment, so he can't think nor process about my concerns for the future. He killed off the feelings I had for him, and they haven't been around since Jan. of 2002, so there's no risk of me even being tempted. It's just more upsetting for OTHER reasons.
Besides, I can't find anything wrong with Alex beyond the fact that he snores. What, I'd give up HIM for the EX? My mom's response to such suggestions by the ex is always to laugh hysterically for like five min. She can't believe he's so far gone that he doesn't see how remarrying a man who hasn't gotten his drinking nor anger under control AND is probably $50k in debt AND won't do shit around the house AND is still unemployed might not look so nice compared to Alex. Go figure!
MR--See, but Cheers! sounds like something I'd save for a friend, but not a friend I've just ripped out my soul on a plate for and put on email and sent off. You sure Terrifically Shazam doesn't work for you? :)
I'm sorry he makes things so hard for you; and making that remark about Alex is inexcusable. Sip your wine slowly and let it calm your nerves. He isn't worth being upset over, but I guess that human emotion isn't going to respond to that kind of logic. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
as far as your ex goes, hes probably now realised what a wonderful; person he let go when he was acting like an arsehole. its crap of him to emootionaly blackmail u. and your right, why would you give up alex for him, even if alex is french?! (only kidding alex mon amis)
as for a sign off, how about 'take care'? but whatever you choose, do i get to hear it?
sorry if this hasnt made much sense but ive only just got up and im going to work for another 24 hours shift!
Here's your best signoff line:
Au revoir, auf wiedersehen and 23 skidoo.
See, that shows you're really brainy, with lots of foreign languages (including American slang) at your command so you must really be very cosmopolitan and a wonderful person to be around.
All of that is true, isn't it?
Angie--exactly. Logic can't do it for me right now. I know I should be as a duck hitting water...rolling it off of me...but for now, no go. The wine helps. God I love Aussie Shirazes! I thank Jezzy for this personally. She has no idea how to make wine, but that's irrelevant. She's aussie, and I like their wine. Tonight I will say thanks Jezzy! haha!
Tony--you know I'll be terrifically shazaming you frequently! Take care IS one I use, but after a while of using it, I feel like I should be doing something warmer...dunno. Yes, it's emotional blackmail, but I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I think he's just realized that he was too late on the boat launch, and that's that.
Old Horse Snake--you looking after me for Mandy's sake? Haha! Now, dear, you are a charming gentleman, and funny as shit, but...you DO realize that if I use the phrase "23 skidoo" people will assume I'm your age instead of mine, right? ;) And I'm female! I can't do that! :)
If you're not my age, how come you know what it means?
Hoss 1, Kira 0
...because I have grandparents who used the expression, and they explained it to me...
Hoss 1, Kira 1 ;)
Let me recommend Fat Bastard Shiraz. It made me think PB was almost human...well worth the cost of three bottles.
Personally, I prefer "Huzza!" Since it means "Hurrah," they can sit there and decide if you mean yay for them, yay for something going on, or yay for being through having to wrtie a frickin' email. By the time that's sorted, you'll be at a holiday or have stopped writing each other altogether.
Huzza!
I like Terrifically Shazam. I also like Later Babe, Peace Out Dog, Catch Ya on the Flip Side, Stay Ugly, Power to the People, and Buyah Biatch! Ok, so I've never personally used any to end an e-mail but I bet I made you laugh!!
Good for Ari telling Rob the way she feels about you and Alex. She's got guts. Most kids would be afraid to hurt the parents feelings.
OH, HAHAHAHA about our boys and their big boobie bye bye! He has kissed my boobies good-bye before when he was 4. (The top of them, not like the nipple area)
Kira, how about "HIRLYTAIWWTHOIPIKWLEOABTBOFITTHTBFNBIAYYSRDILYAWBT!"?
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