A Day in the Sol Household
So, we're at Alex's apartment in Columbia. Ariana had been finishing up her game on the PS2: Sly Cooper 3. In fact, with a bit of help from Alex, she managed the last scenario to win the game. Alex loves helping the kids achieve goals on the console games because he's a total geek and knows that since he's played them forever, he's pretty good at finishing up games. Both kids appreciate his help when he gives it.
So, here's how the conversation went:
Alex, proudly: So! Who's the man, eh?
Ariana stares at Alex.
Alex: I'm pretty good at Sly Cooper, right?
Ariana, eyeing Alex: You're ok, yeah.
Me: Ariana? Remember what I told you about men?
Ariana, sighing and rolling her eyes: Yes, Alex, you're just the greatest ever!
At that point, Alex and I started laughing pretty damn hard. She's a fast learner, that one!
****
I have Bionicle all over my floor. I think Juanita knows the feeling. My son wanted to use up the last part of his Christmas and birthday money on some huge ass Bionicle set that he's been slowly putting together for about two hours now. He's made some pretty good progress...way more than you'd expect for a five year old. I know he can put the little ones together on his own, but I'm cringing at this humongous set. So far he's in that mode of, "I WILL DO THIS MYSELF!" I've only been asked to push in a couple of ball joints since it requires more strength than his arms can provide. Meanwhile, there is no access to the living room. Oh well.
****
I am finishing up the grading on a seven week course. In fact, I should be doing it right now. I have to do about 13 more research papers. Good news is that when I finish up, tomorrow I give and then grade their exam, and then I'm done with it! Bad news is, on Wednesday I immediately start up another seven week course to take its place. Those seven weekers are a bitch.
****
And on the strange student front...we had peer grading in one class last week. The kids had to choose between writing in a descriptive writing style predominantly or an illustrative writing style. This one girl--and as God is my witness, I love this chick--decided to write a descriptive essay on her first experience giving a blow job. Now, they all know my rules with topics are that no topics are restricted...just as long as they use formal language. So, I scanned the paper and words such as "penis" and "ejaculation" lept out at me. Nope, nothing slang-like in that paper! During peer grading, she caused quite a stir with the students who were able to read her paper. They were full of comments, many of which were made out loud. The entire class then--predictably--wanted to read her paper.
One of the fellows (student C I mentioned previously? the guy with the stellar attitude despite the tragic background?) said, ok, I probably will regret this, but I'd like to see the paper too. Now mind you, student C is a devout Mormon. He's laid back about it and lives what he believes and lets others decide their beliefs on their own, but Mormon he is. I started laughing. I said, ok, C. You read that paper and let us know what you think!
He was wearing an orange shirt. His face flushed red as he continued, and I commented to him that the flame and scarlet reminded me of an autumn leaf pattern. Still, determined, he finished the three page paper. He was quite silent afterwards. One of the girls couldn't stand it and asked, "C? So? What'd ya think of it?"
His response, said with complete solemness: "I think I need to go home and pray."
We didn't stop laughing for quite a while!
So, here's how the conversation went:
Alex, proudly: So! Who's the man, eh?
Ariana stares at Alex.
Alex: I'm pretty good at Sly Cooper, right?
Ariana, eyeing Alex: You're ok, yeah.
Me: Ariana? Remember what I told you about men?
Ariana, sighing and rolling her eyes: Yes, Alex, you're just the greatest ever!
At that point, Alex and I started laughing pretty damn hard. She's a fast learner, that one!
****
I have Bionicle all over my floor. I think Juanita knows the feeling. My son wanted to use up the last part of his Christmas and birthday money on some huge ass Bionicle set that he's been slowly putting together for about two hours now. He's made some pretty good progress...way more than you'd expect for a five year old. I know he can put the little ones together on his own, but I'm cringing at this humongous set. So far he's in that mode of, "I WILL DO THIS MYSELF!" I've only been asked to push in a couple of ball joints since it requires more strength than his arms can provide. Meanwhile, there is no access to the living room. Oh well.
****
I am finishing up the grading on a seven week course. In fact, I should be doing it right now. I have to do about 13 more research papers. Good news is that when I finish up, tomorrow I give and then grade their exam, and then I'm done with it! Bad news is, on Wednesday I immediately start up another seven week course to take its place. Those seven weekers are a bitch.
****
And on the strange student front...we had peer grading in one class last week. The kids had to choose between writing in a descriptive writing style predominantly or an illustrative writing style. This one girl--and as God is my witness, I love this chick--decided to write a descriptive essay on her first experience giving a blow job. Now, they all know my rules with topics are that no topics are restricted...just as long as they use formal language. So, I scanned the paper and words such as "penis" and "ejaculation" lept out at me. Nope, nothing slang-like in that paper! During peer grading, she caused quite a stir with the students who were able to read her paper. They were full of comments, many of which were made out loud. The entire class then--predictably--wanted to read her paper.
One of the fellows (student C I mentioned previously? the guy with the stellar attitude despite the tragic background?) said, ok, I probably will regret this, but I'd like to see the paper too. Now mind you, student C is a devout Mormon. He's laid back about it and lives what he believes and lets others decide their beliefs on their own, but Mormon he is. I started laughing. I said, ok, C. You read that paper and let us know what you think!
He was wearing an orange shirt. His face flushed red as he continued, and I commented to him that the flame and scarlet reminded me of an autumn leaf pattern. Still, determined, he finished the three page paper. He was quite silent afterwards. One of the girls couldn't stand it and asked, "C? So? What'd ya think of it?"
His response, said with complete solemness: "I think I need to go home and pray."
We didn't stop laughing for quite a while!
posted by Kira | 5:42 PM
13 Comments:
Who's bright idea was it to offer a seven-week English class to students who have a tough time with a traditional fifteen-week class?? (As I already know the answer, that one's rhetorical)
Did you file the essay under "rotating and trusting"? That was the best paper ever!
Is Alex feeling better, btw?
The Bionicles are only one type of toy that will at various times over the next few years dominant the floors of your home. Boys make it all so complicated... sigh...
We are much more formal at Clemson. We have such conservative kids there. The most interesting thing so far this semester was when one business proposal group jokingly asked to be named "The Ramrods." (I teach mostly guys, so like many groups, there are no girls involved in this group.) They were surprised when I said that they certainly could and typed "The Ramrods" into the computer. If ramrods they wish to be, then ramrods they are. =o)
Hope Alex is feeling better!
Amanda--I had seven people drop out of this class, and quite a few of them asked me later on if they could retake it with me in the fall over the regular period of time. It's just too much for tech students. Hell, it's too much for university students too! Alex felt a bit better this morning. He's still pretty tired, but not dying like he was yesterday or Friday. He still has to go in for more tests, though, on Tuesday.
Angie--now waitasecond...the paper was TOTALLY formal. There was nothing informal about it: no slang, no contractions, no cliche, totally written in upper level college vocab, etc. It just wasn't a CONSERVATIVE paper :) Duke had a very liberal English department, and I could see somebody handing in this paper to my freshman comp English prof (and personal idol) Dr. F and having him love it. He's the one who assigned us Portnoy's Complaint (Roth) to read for class. It's definitely literary and literature, but you just won't believe the level of sexual discussion in this book. The main character masturbates his way through many pages, discussing the various exploits with his therapist. Wild stuff! I hope that doesn't scare you off from Anna going to Duke...haha! And yes, Alex looked better but is still exhausted today. I just hope he wasn't faking feeling better so I'd stop fretting over him so much!
I bet student C is praying for a date with the author of the paper!
Bionicle sounds cool. I only had primitive legos as a kid, which were intended to be used to build houses and stuff. But I showed them. I made very blocky battle cruisers - sort of Volvos in space - and then smashed them with asteroids created from other legos. Aaah-hahahahahaaah! Death! Death to the blocky space ships!
And did he pray for salvation? Or a blowjob? My money's on the latter . . .
Those comments speculating on the nature of his prayer really cracked me up. Some great stories today, Kira! And YES, I can so relate to the Bionicle Obstacle Course. My little guys spent their allowance on a new Bionicle this weekend. On the bright side, it probably really gets them to lengthen their attention spans, and gets them in gear for many Christmas Eve's to come, when they're stuck assembling at 2:00 AM.
I wonder if Big Ernie will be done chuckling by the time Student C reaches him?
Help me out here, kid. What's a Bionicle? (Some of us are pretty old, you know.)
"I think I need to go home and pray."
LOL...I feel that way after reading certain blogs.
Not this one, mind you.
:-)
Here Horsetailsnake, a link to the bionicle website.
http://www.lego.com/eng/bionicle/Default.aspx
They are legos but with a very in depth setting and history. 3 movies were made and they weren't bad. Very good marketing !
Ari certainly does catch on quick: the withering sarcasm in her voice was wonderful. She sounded way older than her years.
And poor Mormon student...Perhaps he could lend that essai to his girlfriend prior to their wedding night?
Back to legos, I would like to say that I feel that legos builds concentration and patience as well as 3d skills and imagination. Great toys.
Did the student call the act a blow job or did she refer to it as felatio?
I have no doubt that Ari will be prepped well in the "how to make men feel important" department. So well that Ethan won't even know she's being sarcastic. Perfect!! =)
I have a feeling my kid would never get to play with bionicles, I'd horde them. heh. And way to currupt the students!! :O)
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