Exhaustion
Anybody who has small children now or has had them in the past knows that feeling of sleeplessness that one gets from no more than three hours of sleep in a row, perhaps no more than that in a given night, for days/weeks/months. Well, that's what I'm feeling, but there's no baby as a bonus for the effort. It's been a rough time lately trying to get these midterm grades in, and the last few nights I've received three hours of sleep per night. Today I realized I was finally fully affected. I had to drink constant caffeine, and also shovel in my mouth the chocolate that a wonderful human being had sent me, in order to not just collapse. I managed to drive to and from school for the kids and also to Clemson without dying or crashing the car. I'm so damned proud.
I kept repeating the same words today and stammering and losing concentration. Luckily, the classes had largely independent activities to take care of today, so I wasn't required to give a stellar lecture. Sadly, I have one more evening of this nightmare. THEN, tomorrow, I can sleep. At least I know when I'll get sleep. With a five year old and an eight year old, unless Ari has a migraine or asthma, or Jared gets sick (very rare on that one), I get to sleep through the night uninterrupted. I remember when they were infants and toddlers. One could wish for sleep, but the magic dice roll often was the determination of whether or not that dream would come true.
So, Thursday night, I'm aiming for a glorious eight hours of sleep. I finished up the grant files that Angie gave me, and I doubt she'll give me more by Thur night. Thur night...mmm...sleeeeeeepppp....
The midterm grades are frustratingly high for this unusual method of doing the English 103 class at Clemson. I say "frustratingly" because these kids are typically getting one letter grade higher than they deserve thanks to the lab component of the class. It's 20% of their Eng grade, and it's impossible to fail. In fact, you have to try NOT to get an A. So, under most circumstances, the lab grade bumps up the whole course grade by a letter. It's not that I like to see folks fail or get D's, but a little Fear of God for some of my slackasses would be nice at the midterm to ensure good work for the rest of the semester, you know? Oh well. It'll be difficult to have bad evaluations from students who are all doing well at least. I'm trying to look on the bright side.
I think one of the most pleasant surprises of this term is finding out that I have a talent that I never thought I had. Basically, I felt before this term that I could read, write, and analyze literature exceptionally well...plus cook well. I was working on superior wine knowledge, and that's about it. What can I say? My talents are rather focused. I can't sing, dance, play a musical instrument, draw, or do/enjoy math. However, what I do, I do well. I felt that at thirty-six years of age, I had already figured out just about everything I could do.
However, this term we have to spend considerable time on visual arguments. I've never, ever had to cover that in any class. It's all a new approach to me. It reminds me of what I always assumed an art class would use as an approach to art analysis. I think I had all of one class session on anything art related--a medieval art session in a medieval culture history class. Anyway, what I discovered is that visual analysis and noting visual rhetoric uses the SAME skills as analysis of literature and its rhetoric. To translate: man, can I ever bullshit on any picture I'm shown. Haha! I'm thrilled. I didn't even KNOW I could do this! I've gone to art museums, but my general reaction was oh I like that, oh I don't. Now, today, when I was with the class at the Lee Gallery, students would ask me what I thought of this piece or that and I'd completely dissect it, much to their delight. Maybe I'd take an art class now that I know I can get so much more out of it!
I'm sure many hilarious things have happened this week. Unfortunately, I can't remember one of them. I can't wait to get some sleep....
EDIT: no, actually, I remember something that entertained me recently now. I was talking to my ex. It went like this:
Ex: I still think you're FUCKING INSANE to get married again this soon
(note: this soon is four and a half years after I told him that's it, we're getting a divorce)
Kira's Reply: Look, I still think it's FUCKING INSANE I got married to you the first time.
He had to laugh. I got him good ;)
I kept repeating the same words today and stammering and losing concentration. Luckily, the classes had largely independent activities to take care of today, so I wasn't required to give a stellar lecture. Sadly, I have one more evening of this nightmare. THEN, tomorrow, I can sleep. At least I know when I'll get sleep. With a five year old and an eight year old, unless Ari has a migraine or asthma, or Jared gets sick (very rare on that one), I get to sleep through the night uninterrupted. I remember when they were infants and toddlers. One could wish for sleep, but the magic dice roll often was the determination of whether or not that dream would come true.
So, Thursday night, I'm aiming for a glorious eight hours of sleep. I finished up the grant files that Angie gave me, and I doubt she'll give me more by Thur night. Thur night...mmm...sleeeeeeepppp....
The midterm grades are frustratingly high for this unusual method of doing the English 103 class at Clemson. I say "frustratingly" because these kids are typically getting one letter grade higher than they deserve thanks to the lab component of the class. It's 20% of their Eng grade, and it's impossible to fail. In fact, you have to try NOT to get an A. So, under most circumstances, the lab grade bumps up the whole course grade by a letter. It's not that I like to see folks fail or get D's, but a little Fear of God for some of my slackasses would be nice at the midterm to ensure good work for the rest of the semester, you know? Oh well. It'll be difficult to have bad evaluations from students who are all doing well at least. I'm trying to look on the bright side.
I think one of the most pleasant surprises of this term is finding out that I have a talent that I never thought I had. Basically, I felt before this term that I could read, write, and analyze literature exceptionally well...plus cook well. I was working on superior wine knowledge, and that's about it. What can I say? My talents are rather focused. I can't sing, dance, play a musical instrument, draw, or do/enjoy math. However, what I do, I do well. I felt that at thirty-six years of age, I had already figured out just about everything I could do.
However, this term we have to spend considerable time on visual arguments. I've never, ever had to cover that in any class. It's all a new approach to me. It reminds me of what I always assumed an art class would use as an approach to art analysis. I think I had all of one class session on anything art related--a medieval art session in a medieval culture history class. Anyway, what I discovered is that visual analysis and noting visual rhetoric uses the SAME skills as analysis of literature and its rhetoric. To translate: man, can I ever bullshit on any picture I'm shown. Haha! I'm thrilled. I didn't even KNOW I could do this! I've gone to art museums, but my general reaction was oh I like that, oh I don't. Now, today, when I was with the class at the Lee Gallery, students would ask me what I thought of this piece or that and I'd completely dissect it, much to their delight. Maybe I'd take an art class now that I know I can get so much more out of it!
I'm sure many hilarious things have happened this week. Unfortunately, I can't remember one of them. I can't wait to get some sleep....
EDIT: no, actually, I remember something that entertained me recently now. I was talking to my ex. It went like this:
Ex: I still think you're FUCKING INSANE to get married again this soon
(note: this soon is four and a half years after I told him that's it, we're getting a divorce)
Kira's Reply: Look, I still think it's FUCKING INSANE I got married to you the first time.
He had to laugh. I got him good ;)
posted by Kira | 4:04 PM
7 Comments:
How about just you're FUCKING INSANE! ;)
I gotta come up there and drink some wine with you and Alex and whomever.
I think I can do the visual/aesthetic analysis thing too, but I never thought about it being the same set of skills at textual analysis. What I have noticed is that almost every straight guy I've ever met is scared to make any sort of aesthetic judgement. I've met maybe 4 straight guys besides myself who would do it. Come on, dudes! Are you scared someone's going to say you're a fag if you say you like N. C. Wyeth and hate Caravaggio? Or even if you say you like a particular piece of furniture? Or, for that matter, why you like that pie you're shoveling in your piehole?
I already e-mail you a lot, so I have nothing to add here but a +1 to your comment drawing score.
I was going to make some wiseass comment involving dice rolls, but grant beat me to it. Let's just say that having a screaming baby wake you up in the middle of the night requires you to roll a 16 or higher, no matter what your constitution stat.
zzzzziiiiiiiiiiing!
I'm glad he laughed!
Lol - I should have read your blog before I sent your files, huh? But no worries - Dr. L's got enough action transcripts to code for now. Take a break! =o) The midterm grading killed me. I was up all night last night and had to go observe at the kids' school for the grant. I took the most resplendent nap when I finally got home.
Understanding the impact of visual rhetoric is fabulous for anyone who likes to analyze things and write about them. I'm glad they added that component to the class.
How about I get you pregnant dearest? That way you will have a reward for suffering from this amount of tiredness? What? That wasn't the point you were making ? :D
Je t'aime, if I was there, I would help *kiss*
(1) Grade inflation's always been a pretty big issue at all the institutions I've taught at (except one). So my problem was always the opposite, namely the pressure from administration to KEEP students from making A's. As a sort of concession, it's damn near impossible (because of administrative procedures) to fail anyone either.
(2) Your ex is right, of course. Remarrying four and a half years after your divorce isn't respectable. However, if you ex had dropped dead, instead of merely dissolving the marriage, you would have only had to wait a year to be respectable.
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