A Little Freudian Slip
Ok, I should give some background to this incident so that you guys can fully understand it. Even though I was raised by conservative Christians, I was taught to use proper names for body parts and functions. My mom is the daughter of a surgeon and a nurse; my dad is a retired orthodontist. Need I say more? Therefore, I had the only two year olds around who used the words penis, vagina, and urinate.
Further background: it's a long damn drive from Tampa, Florida back to the upstate of South Carolina. The kids like to talk to me periodically, although I'm rather relieved when they let me drive and entertain each other. They DO periodically go for each other's throat (Angie, back me up on this...they can love each other and kill each other simulaneously! haha!), but on the whole they usually are good at playing together in the car. Anyway, this incident took place after I had already driven about 9 hours in the car, with about an hour and a half from home. The drive takes longer with children. I should think that needs no explanation.
Ok, so Ariana and Jared are playing rock/scissors/paper. Ariana is a little frustrated because Jared is frequently winning the games. Suddenly I hear from the backseat of the car, "GOD! God beats rock!" which confuses Jared who insists if she can pull out the god card, he can say he has a spiky plant that defeats god. Ari insists then that god beats EVERYTHING and asks me for backup. I chuckle. "Well, yeah, god sorta trumps all. I'm not sure that's a fair one to use, Ari, because in rock/scissors/paper, each one can be defeated by another of the items." Jared insists that there MUST be something that could defeat god, and Ari gives her response (you gotta LOVE this girl's spunk):
"OH YEAH! Of course! GODDESS always beats GOD!"
At that point mom starts laughing a LOT at Ariana's girl power moment.
Jared then insists that he's goddess and so he can beat ari's god. I said, well, actually, if you want to be technical, Jared, you can't be a goddess because you are male...the penis prevents you from being goddess. You'd have to be god. He insists to me that he CAN be a goddess, and that he IS a goddess. I meant to repeat some form of what I already said, I SWEAR I did!!! You DO believe me, right???? But I truncated what I said by accident, as tired as I was. And here's my freudian slip moment:
"No! You can't be a goddess! Penis is god!"
There is silence in the car for approximately two seconds before Ariana starts laughing so hard I thought she'd vomit. "Penis...*gasp*...is...*gasp* GOD! AHAHAHAHAHA!" she says over and over again for what seemed like eternity.
Mom stayed out of the rest of the discussion.
Further background: it's a long damn drive from Tampa, Florida back to the upstate of South Carolina. The kids like to talk to me periodically, although I'm rather relieved when they let me drive and entertain each other. They DO periodically go for each other's throat (Angie, back me up on this...they can love each other and kill each other simulaneously! haha!), but on the whole they usually are good at playing together in the car. Anyway, this incident took place after I had already driven about 9 hours in the car, with about an hour and a half from home. The drive takes longer with children. I should think that needs no explanation.
Ok, so Ariana and Jared are playing rock/scissors/paper. Ariana is a little frustrated because Jared is frequently winning the games. Suddenly I hear from the backseat of the car, "GOD! God beats rock!" which confuses Jared who insists if she can pull out the god card, he can say he has a spiky plant that defeats god. Ari insists then that god beats EVERYTHING and asks me for backup. I chuckle. "Well, yeah, god sorta trumps all. I'm not sure that's a fair one to use, Ari, because in rock/scissors/paper, each one can be defeated by another of the items." Jared insists that there MUST be something that could defeat god, and Ari gives her response (you gotta LOVE this girl's spunk):
"OH YEAH! Of course! GODDESS always beats GOD!"
At that point mom starts laughing a LOT at Ariana's girl power moment.
Jared then insists that he's goddess and so he can beat ari's god. I said, well, actually, if you want to be technical, Jared, you can't be a goddess because you are male...the penis prevents you from being goddess. You'd have to be god. He insists to me that he CAN be a goddess, and that he IS a goddess. I meant to repeat some form of what I already said, I SWEAR I did!!! You DO believe me, right???? But I truncated what I said by accident, as tired as I was. And here's my freudian slip moment:
"No! You can't be a goddess! Penis is god!"
There is silence in the car for approximately two seconds before Ariana starts laughing so hard I thought she'd vomit. "Penis...*gasp*...is...*gasp* GOD! AHAHAHAHAHA!" she says over and over again for what seemed like eternity.
Mom stayed out of the rest of the discussion.
posted by Kira | 9:06 AM
8 Comments:
Wow, that puts a whole new spin on the insult: You are a dick!
You know, you really need to save these jewels into Word docs somewhere too. I'm hoping Blogspot's not going to disappear on us, but you never know. And this is just too priceless too lose!
I wonder how Ari represented God with a hand symbol...
I was thinking this weekend, even though the venomous battle over who got shotgun on the way to the Mexican restaurant, that I'm glad my kids are teens now. I say this because Kylee - the kid we were babysitting - barely ate anything all weekend. One good thing about teenagers is that you never have to worry about them starving or something. (Barring eating disorders, of course.) Kylee barely eats, and I feel like the most rotten babysitter ever. Any suggestions? I seem to have forgotten what used to work for me... =o(
Welcome back!!!
"to" lose... not "too lose"... Remind me that I need sleep from now on...
I have no suggestions. Jared will eat like a horse one day and not at all the next depending on growth spurts. Ariana eats well when she's happy with the world and stops eating when she's stressed or depressed. My guess is Kylee is like that. It's not YOU, it's just Kylee's situation. Kids pick up on everything!!! Offer her well balanced meals and if she doesn't eat, don't worry. It usually balances out by the end of the week...
You give me some great belly laughs, Kira. That's a classic moment!
Hehe... Well, at least you're giving your kids completely accurate information. :P
And her I just thought those were screams of joy... guess it was just identifying?
And if you want the kid to eat, break out the junk food! Duh! Well blanaced meals. HA!
This is so funny!
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