Today's Rant
What the hell is it with the words on the ass thing?
I noticed a lot of my students have phrases or sayings on their butt: bootylicious, baby doll, shake your tailfeathers, etc.
My top hated one: available.
Now, I realize that Chief Slacker would be thrilled. He's been asking for women to wear buttons to announce if they are taken. I believe he'd be satisfied if all women who WERE available wrote it on their ass. Assuredly, he's looking there, so he'd find it!
I was staring at this woman's ass and she had AVAILABLE written across it. I pondered...available? How so? YOU are available? Your ASS is available? Or, this space is AVAILABLE for rent? Or should we just replace the word available for DESPERATE?
I have come to a decision. NOTHING shall be written across my ass, drawing more attention to it than it already gets. Like I need to give a man a reason to stare at my rear end *snort* It was suggested to me at school, however, that it'd be a GREAT way to make the guys write down homework assignments: paste it to my ass. Still, I'm not going to do it. No way.
Well...ok, I'm broke. Maybe I should just rent my ass like a billboard. What do you think I can get for it? Haha!
I noticed a lot of my students have phrases or sayings on their butt: bootylicious, baby doll, shake your tailfeathers, etc.
My top hated one: available.
Now, I realize that Chief Slacker would be thrilled. He's been asking for women to wear buttons to announce if they are taken. I believe he'd be satisfied if all women who WERE available wrote it on their ass. Assuredly, he's looking there, so he'd find it!
I was staring at this woman's ass and she had AVAILABLE written across it. I pondered...available? How so? YOU are available? Your ASS is available? Or, this space is AVAILABLE for rent? Or should we just replace the word available for DESPERATE?
I have come to a decision. NOTHING shall be written across my ass, drawing more attention to it than it already gets. Like I need to give a man a reason to stare at my rear end *snort* It was suggested to me at school, however, that it'd be a GREAT way to make the guys write down homework assignments: paste it to my ass. Still, I'm not going to do it. No way.
Well...ok, I'm broke. Maybe I should just rent my ass like a billboard. What do you think I can get for it? Haha!
posted by Kira | 2:15 PM
18 Comments:
well theres enough space there kira? tee hee!
Yes, cookie. There's enough space to write War and Peace if you want to be technical ;)
and the LOTR trilogy too. and a few Sweet Valley High novels
LMAO! Bad, bad Cookie! *chases him around the room to smack him*
u never know kira i might enjoy that
I am already glued to your ass love :)
I don't see the charm in having things printed on your ass [or I guess I should say on your pants {and "charm" probably isn't right either} :) ]. I think the first time I saw it was some stupid sorority chick with aoII or whatever on her ass. Stupid looking then; stupid looking now.
OTOH, Kira, if you put _War and Peace_ on your ass, maybe I'd actually read it. :) You'd have to hold still for a while though. No squirming! ;)
After an incident at American Eagle in which a sales lady told Anna that she couldn't shop there because she was too curvy (Anna was sooooooo offended by this!), I decided to buy each of us a pair of Apple Bottom Jeans. While there are no words written on our billboards, the little apples, esp. mine, which have red rhinestones, may indeed advertise the wrong message... I'm not sure yet. Anna reports that they are the most comfy jeans she's ever put on. I got her very plain ones though. I'm not sure I'll have the nerve to wear my very flashy, very low ones in public any time soon though.
Cookie--even when done by a...what was that lovely word you tossed at me? A pensioner? *Sobs* hehe
Malia--I had no idea it was called a whale tale! LOL I don't see that one too much on campus...just at the mall or whatnot instead.
Alex--I know you are honey! Well, unless you are looking at my front. Then you're staring at my tits :)
Rockjock--thanks! Odd things strike me. Wait 'til I go on another underwear rant...
April--LMAO! Great ideas there! Well, there was some guy who sold his forehead as ad space on Ebay. Why not my ass? I think I should do little skull lights for Halloween, though.
Joe--but writhing makes it all so much more fun! Maybe you'd just have to HOLD IT FIRMLY so you could read without the words dancing? ;)
Angie--I never heard of Apple Bottom Jeans! I just checked out the site. It looks promising since it's made for African-Americans. That is, small waist, larger rump is the usual combo and so the jeans are probably tailored for us curvy women. Tell Anna the bitch clerk was just jealous and it won't be the last time she has to deal with snide comments from jealous women!
some hot man needs to spank me, because i am guilty of the above mentioned crime. i have yoga pants with the word 'princess' on the butt (my ex calls me princess).
lmao! i'm such a dork.
"Hold it firmly"? But W&P is such a *big book*. I guess I'll just occasionally have to put my bookmark in your copy of War and... did you say Piece? ;)
I believe your ass is already spoken for. HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND!! (You too, Alex!)
Since we are going to look there anyways, it is to give us something to read. Maybe someone should see ad space...
Rock on!
Sandra--LOL! Well, let me quickly move aside so I don't get trampled here...
OI! THE LINE TO SPANK SANDRA STARTS AT THE RIGHT! ;)
Joe--just please don't tell me the bookmark gets stuck in my crack...LOL
Mandy--you are correct. Alex has first dibs. But you have to admit that it could be a great way to make some side cash...haha! Hope your dress stays up! Did you find the tape? And yes, we expect for the weekend to go well! YAY!
Rex--Well, I'm assuming that's why women sometimes wear words on their CHEST too. Our only other alternatives to make sure you've read the message is to run around nude and write it all over our flesh!
Wait...I'm getting an idea now...when men yes dear their women just to get them to shut up and aren't really listening...we can retaliate and make sure they DID get the message of what we are saying! We can just walk around with a robe on and a sharpie tied on a string around our neck. Any message we need to give a male, we can then write on our bodies and pull off the robe! Yeah, that's the ticket!
I am so with you. My personal hate is the ones that say Juicy but its even worse on a fat 50 year old women at the mall or the airport thats the other place you see these damn things. I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those damn things.
Yeah, you got me, I'm definitely an ass man ;O) And that notes written on body parts to get us to listen would totally work. You need to see this cartoon. Click it now! I would even edit your post and add it :O)
The cartoon was horrendously funny, even if I couldn't understand half of it. But the woman has never heard of the Crack Spackle Kit, or maybe hasn't played Plumber's Butt Pandemonium. Oh well, she's probably better off. ;)
Bill and Jess--I agree that a 50 yr old could carry it off even less!
Chief--just watched the video...funny shit! Haha! Yes, that's along the lines of what I was thinking of!
Joe--oh god, I need that crack spackle kit and take it to school with me! haha!
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