My Daughter, Imp
I always tell lots and lots of stories about Jared. That's due to his age, I believe. He just does more funny stuff right now than Ari does, but hey, that does NOT mean Ariana didn't do some funny stuff when she was a lot younger, too!
Remember, the price to pay for intelligent children is that they torture you.
So, here's the set up: I'm 8 months pregnant. I'm working as a nanny for friends of my Ex while 8 months pregnant (taking care of a 6 month old baby) and watching after my 2 and a half year old little girl. Then I come home and do everything around the house. My exhaustion knows no bounds. Nothing like waking up at 630a to get child breakfast and in the car, drive 45 min to the house, nanny all day long, drive home, get there at 630p...be expected to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, do laundry, pack lunches for everybody for the next day, etc. Weeee!
I was so tired this one night that there was no way I was going to give Ariana her bath. The Ex decided to do it. To be fair, he did most of the baths for Ari while I was pregnant...at least after the first few months. I kept telling him though: you cannot leave her in the bathroom. You have to WATCH her. She is not even THREE yet...she could drown! But the Ex would pace downstairs to watch something on TV, I would scold him until he went back upstairs grumbling, and all the while I felt like maybe I should be the one upstairs because I didn't want my child to drown. Accidents happen. On this night, I REALLY fussed at him. Ariana could have heard from the bathroom. I told him, "Look, you think she's fine up there but she could die! It's not safe. You can walk out of there to grab a towel and return, but you really can't leave her alone for longer than that." He grunted at me and decided to fuss at ME and tell me what a hyperactive imagination I had and how I should just shut the fuck up. But then, feeling guilty, he stomped upstairs.
I heard the following: "OH SHIT!!!!!"
I ran upstairs!
Ok that's a lie. I waddled upstairs! (8 months pregnant...come on)
"Never mind, never mind!" the ex fussed.
Ariana had pulled the plug on the bathtub...and then, with an inch or two of water still in the tub, sprawled herself out flat on her tummy, eyes closed, to look as if dead. It looked wholly realistic! The ex REALLY thought for a few moments there that his daughter was gone! Mind you, the girl was two and a half years old here and thought this one out.
Needless to say, the Ex never left Ariana alone in the tub again (well, not until she was old enough to shower instead!).
The end!
Remember, the price to pay for intelligent children is that they torture you.
So, here's the set up: I'm 8 months pregnant. I'm working as a nanny for friends of my Ex while 8 months pregnant (taking care of a 6 month old baby) and watching after my 2 and a half year old little girl. Then I come home and do everything around the house. My exhaustion knows no bounds. Nothing like waking up at 630a to get child breakfast and in the car, drive 45 min to the house, nanny all day long, drive home, get there at 630p...be expected to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, do laundry, pack lunches for everybody for the next day, etc. Weeee!
I was so tired this one night that there was no way I was going to give Ariana her bath. The Ex decided to do it. To be fair, he did most of the baths for Ari while I was pregnant...at least after the first few months. I kept telling him though: you cannot leave her in the bathroom. You have to WATCH her. She is not even THREE yet...she could drown! But the Ex would pace downstairs to watch something on TV, I would scold him until he went back upstairs grumbling, and all the while I felt like maybe I should be the one upstairs because I didn't want my child to drown. Accidents happen. On this night, I REALLY fussed at him. Ariana could have heard from the bathroom. I told him, "Look, you think she's fine up there but she could die! It's not safe. You can walk out of there to grab a towel and return, but you really can't leave her alone for longer than that." He grunted at me and decided to fuss at ME and tell me what a hyperactive imagination I had and how I should just shut the fuck up. But then, feeling guilty, he stomped upstairs.
I heard the following: "OH SHIT!!!!!"
I ran upstairs!
Ok that's a lie. I waddled upstairs! (8 months pregnant...come on)
"Never mind, never mind!" the ex fussed.
Ariana had pulled the plug on the bathtub...and then, with an inch or two of water still in the tub, sprawled herself out flat on her tummy, eyes closed, to look as if dead. It looked wholly realistic! The ex REALLY thought for a few moments there that his daughter was gone! Mind you, the girl was two and a half years old here and thought this one out.
Needless to say, the Ex never left Ariana alone in the tub again (well, not until she was old enough to shower instead!).
The end!
posted by Kira | 7:55 PM
3 Comments:
To use an american expression: SHITBURGERS!!!!
Wow, that would have given me heart faillure!
I will never leave a baby alone in the bath for certain!
Haha! April, it's local...as in, I screamed it out once to some students and it caught on remarkably around here ;)
Yes, she's the devil. Yes, she is like me. And Yes, I know you won't leave our kids alone in the bath, Alex ;)
Oh my God, that kid is hilarious!
(fuming about my ex...I had to give baths 8-9-10 months pregnant...fucker) :(
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