Limoncello Part II: The Mourning
There is a significant chance that I will eliminate this post when the limoncello goes out of my system. BUT!!!! For NOW!!! Here it is.
Today, we mourn for my waist.
Once upon a time, I was in high school and I had a 21 inch waist. Then years later, at 27, I had Ariana and the waist went to 23 inches. Then I had Jared. It went to 25 inches. That measurement cannot get smaller even if I do the anorexic thing and lose too much weight. Trust me. I tried that path since Jared. Sigh.
What does "Kira with a 21 inch waist" look like, you ask?
There. *sobs*
Today is a funeral for my waist.
When I was 13 and had stopped growing/looked very much like I do today except now I'm older, my mom used to stare at me and say, "Kira. You know that celebrities remove their bottom rib to get a waist that small, right?" I was preening. I felt GOOD. Tiny waist, big ass! I rock!
Even after Ariana when I just went up to 23 inches, I remember having to have a mole removed from my back because it was questionable, and the dermatologist was astounded. I laid out on the chair, waiting for the nurse to fetch the doctor, drifting in and out of the nap zone. My daughter was with my best friend so I could do this proceedure, and I was perpetually low on sleep. However, the doctor coming in and shouting, "MY GOD YOU HAVE A TINY WAIST!!!" woke me up. I laughed. I felt flattered. I preened more. Tiny waist, I love thee!
But then...my son came. My son is worth a thick waist. Trust me. However, the fact remains that now I have a more normal waist. I read an interesting research study that stated that having girl babies didn't add much thickness onto waists, but boys DID. This left me intrigued as to how absofuckinglutely tiny ANGIE'S waist must have been before she had M, because damnit, that girl has a small waist compared to her bust and butt. (Angie, forgive me, I'm intoxicated and mean that in the MOST flattering of terms! Truly!).
So, tonight in a limoncello haze, I salute...my waist! No matter how much weight I lose now (I know that even 99 lbs won't bring you back!), you'll never come back to me again.
I loved you. You were hot.
I miss you.
Please come home.
Thanks!
Today, we mourn for my waist.
Once upon a time, I was in high school and I had a 21 inch waist. Then years later, at 27, I had Ariana and the waist went to 23 inches. Then I had Jared. It went to 25 inches. That measurement cannot get smaller even if I do the anorexic thing and lose too much weight. Trust me. I tried that path since Jared. Sigh.
What does "Kira with a 21 inch waist" look like, you ask?
There. *sobs*
Today is a funeral for my waist.
When I was 13 and had stopped growing/looked very much like I do today except now I'm older, my mom used to stare at me and say, "Kira. You know that celebrities remove their bottom rib to get a waist that small, right?" I was preening. I felt GOOD. Tiny waist, big ass! I rock!
Even after Ariana when I just went up to 23 inches, I remember having to have a mole removed from my back because it was questionable, and the dermatologist was astounded. I laid out on the chair, waiting for the nurse to fetch the doctor, drifting in and out of the nap zone. My daughter was with my best friend so I could do this proceedure, and I was perpetually low on sleep. However, the doctor coming in and shouting, "MY GOD YOU HAVE A TINY WAIST!!!" woke me up. I laughed. I felt flattered. I preened more. Tiny waist, I love thee!
But then...my son came. My son is worth a thick waist. Trust me. However, the fact remains that now I have a more normal waist. I read an interesting research study that stated that having girl babies didn't add much thickness onto waists, but boys DID. This left me intrigued as to how absofuckinglutely tiny ANGIE'S waist must have been before she had M, because damnit, that girl has a small waist compared to her bust and butt. (Angie, forgive me, I'm intoxicated and mean that in the MOST flattering of terms! Truly!).
So, tonight in a limoncello haze, I salute...my waist! No matter how much weight I lose now (I know that even 99 lbs won't bring you back!), you'll never come back to me again.
I loved you. You were hot.
I miss you.
Please come home.
Thanks!
posted by Kira | 8:23 PM
19 Comments:
Um, Kira, fuck, that photo is sexy!
Geez - you're hot alright!
Hehehehe exacllent comment Jezzy :D
I have been staring at it all night and thinking about something doing something related to the word fuck :D
But since I can't, I have to settle to doing the next best thing. Starring at Kira and contemplating true perfection.
Awww - well put Alex. x
you could always wipe the monitor clean alex?
also, i dont know what animal that fur came from but i bet it died damn happy!
Woo hoo! The fur bikini comes out again!
Jezzy--thanks! Too bad this picture was pre-children, but hey, at least the waist still DOES cut in (Alex can back that up hehe).
Alex--awww sweetie...so romantic and to the point/vulgar all at once! Deshabillons nous et faison l'amour :)
Cookie--HAHAHAHA! Yes, yes Alex should clean the monitor now, eh? It's rabbit. I once had a rabbit skin jacket that a friend didn't want anymore and so she gave it to me. You see what happened to it now.
Amanda--If I put up the fur bikini pic, this means you have to put up your hottie jeans photo with the completely so flat you can bounce quarters off of it stomach, right? :)
SC--Yeah, but how else can you get that full cavegirl presence WITHOUT a fur bikini???? haha!
tee hee, when i come to america on my holiday, what steretypically american item of clothing should i bring back? stetson? XXXXXXXXL trousers?
The girl child may not add as much to the waist as a boy child (I'm not sure about that, but for the sake of argument...), HOWEVER, the girl child grows up to be a teenager with a 21" waist, just to REMIND you of what you USED to have. As a teenager, you'll hear her complain about her body...the body you used to have and complain about...but now you'd starve yourself to have again!! Just wait, Kira. She'll do it to you. Mark my words!
Color me green!
Wow. 21 inches? I've never had that small of a waist...even when I was 12. :0(
You're hot!!! You go girl.
OH Yeah, am I lucky ! :D
I love Kira's hair. I play with it all the time. I am lucky Kira doesn't mind.
I do feel flattered - thank you! But yes, my waist was smaller before giving birth to Matthew. I assumed it was because he was my second child. But maybe it was the boy thing... At any rate, as long as our hip-to-waist ratio stays on the extreme side, men will still love us, right?
One other thing... WW is completely right. It's quite sad when you're teenage daughter complains about her size 4 body. Of course, Anna's got the whole ratio thing going too. We're having the worst time keeping the boys away...
You can't delete this...and yes, I'm v. jealous! I used to have a waist, too...never as small as yours, but I did have one...once...long ago.
I've been contemplating the concept of one day having sex with someone different (don't worry, this is not a proposition), and the thought of doing it with my stretch marked, saggy belly...well...who ever the lucky man is will have to get used to doing it with the lights OFF!!!
Ok, I'm sorry, but Ijust have to say that I'm wiping tears from my eyes from laughing so hard after looking at that pic. Now, don't get me wrong! It's because I was scrumfing with my contacts when I first glanced at it and it looked like those were your knees. In my blurry haze I was thinking a few things: "Is she playing Cousin It?" "Why have I never noticed Kira was so damn bow-legged?" "What medium was she fucking to channel Regan from 'The Exorcist' to get in that position?!?" Then my contacts slid back into their rightful place, and I realized the exact shot, lol. Oh, the ways in which I can amuse myself. See you next week!
CM--Depends on where you go in America! Some places have regional clothing too, you know? Like Texas. They really DO wear cowboy boots and hats there. If you come through South Carolina, give me a hollar!
(oh god I've lived in the South too long...I just said 'give me a hollar'...)
Mandy--Ug. I feel I'll definitely have to deal with that one as my daughter at SEVEN has just now started to get a more rounded ass and hips in contrast to her waist. I stare at her as she goes into the shower sometimes and think, oh god, she's going to have curves!
April--LOL! Good point :) And good position! LOL!
Valerie--hehe well, just keep in mind, this photo was taken when I was in my early 20's. It doesn't quite look like that anymore!
Linny--thanks! Keep in mind that it also happens to help to be only 5'2" as far as the waist size goes, but yeah, it was a teeny waist. I miss her *sniff*
Alex my love--yes, yes you do play with the hair all the time. Remember what Maureen and Eric decided? That if I cut my hair, I'd give you nothing to do with your free time? haha! I love you playing with my hair. Avec toi, je suis heureux :)
Angie--yup! Small waist, large ass...it's a great combination to get male attention :) Anna's problem is not just that she's a size four, though. Anna's problem is that she is drop dead gorgeous. I'm surprised there aren't fist fights between the boys for her taking place on your front lawn! See? Another aspect about a teen girl that frightens me. Thanks to you and Mandy, I'm wanting time to STOP...haha!
Laura--haha! Yeah, I've got a c section scar across my abdomen that I'm occasionally self conscious about, plus some stretch marks myself. If the guy does HIS job right, though, he will make you feel so damned sexy that you won't even think about it when you guys go at it, and the lights remain on! I know that I have the scar, stretch marks, and gained weight...in theory. When Alex looks at me, though, I forget that I'm anything less than dead sexy. He does that "right".
Chuck--ONLY YOU would look at a picture of me in a fur bikini and have those thoughts! HAHAHA! Well, most people FACE the camera for a shot, but not this time. The ex specifically wanted a shot of my backside because he really liked my tiny waist too. He took a front shot of me wearing this lovely outfit, too, but I have refrained from posting it.
"Say hello to my little furry friend".
Girl, you're still freakin hot, so hush up ;O)
hehe
whats a hollar?
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