It Takes a Week to Process
A few posts back, I posted the Girlfriend's Code. I still believe in that and abide by it; however, I also realized the main issue for me in the case that was described was not the "I don't want to hear about sex with my ex" issue.
It's the loss of another friend that worries me.
Why do I say "another" friend? Well, my best friend was once a woman who is married to my ex's brother. I know she still loves me. I know she understands why I left. And I also know that, because she is married to my ex's brother, her loyalties are with her husband. And that very fact makes life difficult for her.
We used to get together at least once a month with the kids and have a great time. Now that I'm on my own, I've seen her a total of four times in two years. There goes my best friend. It hurts.
Maybe I'm a total retard, but...I just don't want to lose any more friends to my ex. Sigh.
Bah, sometimes it takes me a week to process this shit and find out the REAL cause of an issue.
It's the loss of another friend that worries me.
Why do I say "another" friend? Well, my best friend was once a woman who is married to my ex's brother. I know she still loves me. I know she understands why I left. And I also know that, because she is married to my ex's brother, her loyalties are with her husband. And that very fact makes life difficult for her.
We used to get together at least once a month with the kids and have a great time. Now that I'm on my own, I've seen her a total of four times in two years. There goes my best friend. It hurts.
Maybe I'm a total retard, but...I just don't want to lose any more friends to my ex. Sigh.
Bah, sometimes it takes me a week to process this shit and find out the REAL cause of an issue.
posted by Kira | 11:48 AM
6 Comments:
Wow...that really sucks. You'd think intelligent women could keep the two things separate. I usually lose friends when they find boyfriends. I've vowed NEVER to do that. Boyfreinds are great, but friends are important. My previous best friend dumped me faster than a heartbeat when she started dating her boyfriend. She doesn't socialize with anyone anymore - except HIS friends. If they ever split up, she's going to be just lost. All her old friends ahve given up on her now. She shunned them (us). Sad.
Hmm... I take it her husband's opinion lies with his brother? A pity... Still, good that you managed to figure out what it was that was bothering you.
I'm with you. It'd be nice to realize what our motivations are the moment we're feeling something, but for me, that's never the case. I have to chew on events a good long while before I can even begin to figure out what I'm feeling and why.
(sigh)
I'll just have to make sure you are too happy to think about it dearest!
I have my ways of insuring that happens ;)
Losing friends for any reason sucks. I've lost some over women, over stupid things, and just lost contact with some. Time to make some new friends. At least taht's what I tell myself.
I've lots a few close friends along the way, and it's never easy. Especially the ones that you were really close to... I don't think we can get very close to too many people in our lives. It's sad to lose the ones that we did have that kind of compatibility with...
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