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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Memorable Moments of Our Lives

When you look back on the landscape of your life, what do you see that stands out the most? The days or moments that are the sharpest? Why are they so vivid? Do you even know half the time?

Memories always fascinate me. In the end, all we really have are memories...and if we are very lucky, someone to share them with.

There are tons of moments that stand out in my life, and sometimes the moments expand into whole days. One of these days I find a hard time explaining to anybody why it was so damned important. But I'll try.

When I was 14 and 15 years old, I felt very lonely and depressed and out of place in the world. I think that most teenagers go through a phase like that at some point or another. Then...I exited the dark, dreary forest. On my 16th birthday, I had a fantastic party that rocked the whole house. I was always the freak of the school, yet...everybody showed up to celebrate for the party whom I invited, PLUS they brought friends! What a zoo! After midnight and people started to leave, 27 girls stayed behind to spend the night at my house. Some of these girls were not girls I ever thought would end up wanting to stay at my house for a birthday party of mine. It made me feel good. I woke up with a strange feeling...yes, it was happiness. I remember only getting two or three hours of sleep, and when I woke up, the house was still dark...dawn's first lights trickling through the windows. I remember walking between the passed out bodies of girls here and there, grinning, staring at them. I remember looking up at a piece of art my parents have and cracking up (then taking a picture of it) because one of my friends had mischievously stuck a cigarette in the bird's mouth. The house was quiet. The shift had happened. It was years before I felt the nagging pull of depression again.

But the real event happened after that point. The truly memorable moment happened not at that party and the revelations it gave me, but that summer. I had gone out to a dear friend's beach house to help them paint and also enjoy the water and sand. We'd had a full morning of painting the deck, then had the afternoon to do as we would. Lunch was great. A swim in the ocean was fun. The hot tub had drained all the energy out of us, and we sat in two hammocks in the shade, swinging back and forth, talking about life, sipping coca colas. When I finished my can, I stomped on its middle and it stuck to my heel. I remember hanging my foot out over the hammock and feeling the stickiness on my skin from some of the coke...the breeze cooling my body...humming with contentment...totally at peace. The moment lasted a full hour, rocking back and forth in the hammock, barely talking now as she seemed to melt with me into this Other Realm where all was good and beautiful and joyous. I kept thinking, oh my, all is right in the world! It's so vivid that I can call it up in a heartbeat and drift back. My god. I just can't explain why this day was the best day of my life until that point. I'm at a total loss. Nothing HUGE happened. But...it felt like all my little cogs fit into the wheel of the universe with perfection that day and nothing was out of place. Perfect symmetry.

I have about 9 other significant moments that stand out almost as turning points in my life for one reason or another. I'm sure none of you are surprised that two of them involve the birth of Ari and Jared. I might end up detailing more later. It feels nice to relive them as I type, actually...

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an excellent topic for a blog! Enjoyed reading this - can't wait to hear more of these memories!

4:03 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hehehe yeah, a great topic love of my Life. I would love to hear more.

I have had these feelings before of total peace but I can't remember more than one at this moment. And it was with you.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Kira said...

Angie--thanks! I definitely will write more in the future. I'm just not sure which one I want to mention next is all!

Alex--ok, which moment was that, dear? Hehe two of these moments were with you out of the last nine. I'll get to them eventually ;)

April! You are the best damn ego feeder a gal could have! *sniff sniff* Of course you can use this topic! That's why I phrased it as questions at the beginning...I actually EXPECT folks to then think of turning points in their life that strike them, and write about them Go for it! I'm interested to hear what you come up with.

6:00 PM  
Blogger cookie monster said...

ah you are truly blessed to have so many life turning moments.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Joseph H. Vilas said...

Kira's brain *is* that big. Being correspondingly smart, she's figured out a way to keep her extra-large brain in another dimension.

Or in her butt. I'm not sure which. ;)

8:12 PM  
Blogger Kira said...

Cookie--I think everybody has a few, actually! You just have to sit down and remember them, is all!

Joe--how the hell would you know that I store ANYTHING in my butt-like-a-sister, eh? SINCE YOU WON'T GRAB IT AN' ALL :)

4:52 AM  

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