Smart Ass
I can't help being a smart ass. I don't know why; it's just a firmly established trait for me.
Jared's four year old class has a reading program. I have to sign a permission slip so that he can bring a book home a night to read. The slip asks for Jared's gender, race, and birthday. Then it asks for my gender, race, and birthday. I filled out gender and birthday normally. Then, for race I put "human."
Why did I do that? Precision in language. We are all part of the human race. As far as I'm concerned, there's nobody who is capable of handwriting that form who should put down anything other than "human." However, since I'm aware that it's a government funded program, I understood they probably need my child's ETHNIC background for all of their precious statistics. So, I starred both "human race" answers and footnoted it: "Jared's ethnic background is caucasian, primarily European and Mexican/hispanic; however, his race is human."
I think I'm still cranky from the alcohol poisoning I tried to give myself Friday night...hmmm....
Jared's four year old class has a reading program. I have to sign a permission slip so that he can bring a book home a night to read. The slip asks for Jared's gender, race, and birthday. Then it asks for my gender, race, and birthday. I filled out gender and birthday normally. Then, for race I put "human."
Why did I do that? Precision in language. We are all part of the human race. As far as I'm concerned, there's nobody who is capable of handwriting that form who should put down anything other than "human." However, since I'm aware that it's a government funded program, I understood they probably need my child's ETHNIC background for all of their precious statistics. So, I starred both "human race" answers and footnoted it: "Jared's ethnic background is caucasian, primarily European and Mexican/hispanic; however, his race is human."
I think I'm still cranky from the alcohol poisoning I tried to give myself Friday night...hmmm....
posted by Kira | 8:04 PM
13 Comments:
I love your sense of humor and ability to make someone wish he had never been born ;)
*Growls*
Oh, you are so much nicer than I am! I would be wondering why they needed ANYTHING other than name. Are there that many Jared [Last names] out there with the same parental names that the program manager would get confused? And what's with the birthday stuff?
I am totally, totally against all this information gathering, so I usually just say or write "No thank you" when asked (like for my phone number when I buy a piece of clothing(!!!)). I am in awe when someone can keep a sense of humor in the situation, since I'm a card-carrying handle-fly-offer.
Wait till they start listing your child's SSN on library lists or class lists, posted up in public places!!!
When they ask about sex, always say YES, PLEASE! Its Rude to just say yes ;)
LOL! you are too funny.
i'm the same way too. it's like, doesn't anyone look at forms before they are published and handed out.
i used to work for an insurance company and i designed some of the forms that were used, and talk about being proofed a zillion times. i am terribly anal about proofreading, as i am a perfectionist and cannot stand to turn in shabby work. then i see government forms or other professional forms and i ask myself, why isn't someone checking this stuff before it goes out. my ass would have got reamed if i sent out a stupid letter with a misspelled word in it. yet, almost everyday i see typos in the business world, or words used in the wrong context.
so yeah, i've got a slight word OCD.
Alex my love--was that the sexy growl you just gave? *swoons* :)
SC--Well, yes. Not since college days, but I've done that before, yes ;) Why? Is this another redhead thing? LOL
Innana--If the paper were asking for the info "just" to be nosy, I'd have never answered it. The books weren't for a library program; it's for a government sponsored program that the school has decided to use. In order to use the books for free, apparently they need to fill in statistics. I think what they are looking for is what types of people typically need this service (my son is in a free preschool program at a public elementary school wherein the main criteria to get in is a) poor and b) needs to catch up the age-appropriate knowledge...Jared scored the highest on the knowledge test of any of the kids, but I'm an adjunct and his dad is unemployed, so we hit the jackpot with the POOR box).
Amanda--see? this is why I need you. Good Southern girls always know the polite way to say it!
April--ok, I like your answer better...HAHA!
Sandra--I think the reason why I get anal about it is...well, I'm an English teacher. I can't see working for a business and sending out something riddled with errors. Sure, I'm more casual about blogging (I'm using this area as a release!), but anything professional? No way!
(guilty confession...when my daughter or my son hand me notes from their teachers, I correct them for grammar, word usage, and punctuation just because I can't stand that they handed me something shabbily done and they are teachers...I don't give the corrected version back to the teachers...I just do it for myself. That makes me mental, doesn't it???)
WB--well, technically folks can poison themselves intentionally too if they were suicidal. I'm guessing that all three of us just felt suicidal on Friday night. And it was a successful suicide, too. At least, I definitely felt dead on Saturday!
I poisoned myself to the extent that I am still using the wrong words at times. I'll be glad when I'm back to normal.
We're making a survey right now and just had a big debate about "race." I voted not to include it b/c it isn't necessary for our study...
Awesome!
I used to work with a girl who'd check "all of the above" when any form asked for her race. She was black, white AND hispanic.
No one would ever have to ask me what "race" my kids are. We're so white. One of my kids is even named "Lilly"!
This is excellent! I've been known to provide a wise ass response from time to time when I think the question being asked is inappropriate or none of their business! Great answer!!!!
okay, my guilty confession is that last year, when my daughter's teacher would send home letters, i did send them back corrected (if needed. and i used red ink, i'm such a bitch). i also sent back a spelling word list that had an incorrect spelling of the word 'bead' on it. she wrote it as 'beed' and the children were to study that list for a test. i called her on it, told her that 'beed' isn't a word and i also called the school office because the teacher had failed to return my phone call. you don't give my child a list of words to study and not spell them correctly. needless to say, she sent home a note the following week apologizing for the misspelled word and said that it wasn't included on the test.
how mental does this make me? ;)
I found your blog when you first posted about Jerome - my husband and I are in the process of adopting through the foster care system and your blog grabbed my attention. I've been reading along since then and enjoying your rants and stories, but I'm still waiting for Jerome. I sensed from before that it isn't something that is easy to remember, much less write about. So I'm waiting patiently. Hoping you'll find you're way back to that story one day. Just wanted you to know I'm interested.
Angie--you know, it always confuses French people when we include race/ethnic background on anything. They don't do it. Their idea is that once you are French, you're French. That doesn't mean that they aren't racist at times (the Algerians in particular), but merely that they don't think that it's worthy of note. If you came to France and now are a French citizen, then that's who you are as far as paperwork goes: French.
Laura--LMAO@Lily! Well, Ari is as pale white as you can come, actually...AND blonde. I was dying one day because I was at a school function and she was telling this little boy, Ignacio, that my mom was mexican, and he just shook his head violently as if Ariana had lost it! I can't blame him. You can't get whiter than Ari, and I'm fairly pale myself.
Mandy--see, now, that would be the polite way to do it: write none of your business. I'm not horridly polite though, I guess...LOL
Sandra--Ok, now, putting a mispelled word on a SPELLING TEST would have me up in arms instantly. I wouldn't stay silent about that either. Nothing is worse to me than a teacher teaching people something that is incorrect! ARG!
At Jared's old daycare, they'd put up notices about various things, or they'd have sign up lists for parties. The most common gramatical errors they would have up there were mispellings (Of the there/their/they're nature or you're/your) and apostrophes (either lack or unnecessary addition). Since it was a public sheet, I just couldn't stare at it every day when I took Jared to daycare, so I corrected them all as they posted them *coughs* I never told them I did it, but they had to realize it was me...being the only English teacher mother in the bunch...
Cindy--you are absolutely right. Every time I sat down to finish up Jerome's story, I became depressed about it and stopped. I NEED to finish it, though. I just wish it had a happy ending! For some foster children, being adopted by people who so obviously care like you and your husband becomes the ticket out of hell. Other children are not so lucky. Sometimes the state doesn't terminate parental rights "quickly" enough, and then you're left with an older child that nobody wants. Sigh. Or the child comes into care as a ten year old or older...nobody wants those children either, especially if the child is a minority, mixed ethnically, or disabled in some way. These are often the children that become permanently lost. It's like watching a train wreck and being unable to stop it in ANY way...
Anyway, I'll try to be a good girl and get the rest of the story out soon!
I've said it many times and I'll keep on saying it: Better a smart ass than a dumbass :O)
Words to live by.
I like telling people I'm Etruscan. It's also the race I use for any racist jokes -- "An Etruscan guy walks into a bar...."
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