Why My Daughter May Not Be Allowed To Have Friends

Finally! That's one of the lovely pictures Amanda took of my darling children :)

So, here we go...my daughter has a little playmate here at the apartment complex. The girl has been over a few times now. I already had to laugh because the girl, J, said "I had to quit ballet because the outfit showed my shoulders." I looked at her and asked if her bathingsuit covered more or less than her ballet outfit. She said, less, but she was IN THE WATER with the bathingsuit so nobody saw her shoulders. I said, "So, you never stand when you swim? You always are doggy paddling? Is that why nobody sees your shoulders?" Clearly, her brain started to explode and I realized I had best backpedal. "Um, well, if it bothers you of course you shouldn't do it and wear that outfit...." Then she happily told me that clogging required them to wear full shirts. Ok then.

Well, see, my daughter is worse. What happens when you take a smart girl who has been given the facts of life by her mom? Here's what happens....

J: Well, I KNOW that people have to be married to make babies.

Ariana, looking amazed: Who told you that nonsense? It's a good IDEA to be married first, but the way to make one is the same if you're married or not.

Oh yeah. My children will be banned from associating with the pure. That's all I can say. First I show them humping ducks...and then I tell her the stork did NOT bring them to me. You have to understand that this is also the girl who told me that she figured out that Santa didn't exist because he used our wrapping paper and had my handwriting, "But don't worry I won't tell Jared." Apparently, there was no such promise to not tell other kids about sex. Ok, so let's look on the bright side: at least now J won't be having sex with her bf at 14 thinking it was ok because they weren't married and so she'd never get pregnant!