The Magic of Lean Cuisine
Lean Cuisine frozen (crap) meals were on sale for $2 apiece at Publix this week. I bought two. I figured if I ate one of those things for a meal, I'd lose five pounds. That means two meals at 5 lbs a pop = 10 lbs lost. Surely we don't eat these things for nutrition or flavor, so I feel CERTAIN that's how they work! Abracadabra! Shazam! Gotta love that whole magic of Lean Cuisine!
Although since I don't own a scale, I doubt I'll ever be able to figure out that I lost my 10 lbs...
Although since I don't own a scale, I doubt I'll ever be able to figure out that I lost my 10 lbs...
posted by Kira | 8:12 PM
10 Comments:
I had to give them up when I stopped eating weird chemicals. I do miss the chicken a l'orange and Swedish meatballs, though. Some days I just don't want to face another organic vegetable lasagna.
If it works, let me know. I think I could manage to put down to frozed Lean Cuisine's for some pound lossage. (not a word, but I like it!)
I'm a magical thinker, too! (wink) If I eat a salad, then I'm on the road to supermodeldom (also not a word)...never mind that I'm 38, have a ruddy complexion and at least 50 pounds to lose.
On the flip side, when I eat bad food, like Fritos and Coke, in my mind, I don't gain weight either.
SmartOnes are kind of good...especially the deserts.
Those have to be better than the damned Cinnabun pretzel I ate the other day that had 710 calories!!! I just about passed out, but then realized that I wouldn't burn any of those calories if I was passed out on the floor! I am so sick of my metabolism!
Apparently this talk about losing weight has turned me into a writing retard. I started reading my previous comment and realized that it makes absolutely no sense. Not because I used a made up word either. So I'm going to re-write it in a readable way.
"If it works, let me know. I think I could manage to put down a frozen Lean Cuisine or two for some pound lossage. (not a word, but I like it!) "
There ya go. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused someone who has read my dumbassness.
April, you have given me the word that perfectly describes my coworker...dumbassness! Love it!!
As for Lean Cuisines, I'll just keep my 10 lbs. Those things are disgusting.
Can you keep this up so pretty soon there's nothing left but the grin on your face for having lost all those pounds?
That's the beauty of not owning a scale. Nothing can stop you from believe that Lean Cuisine will magically make you lose weight.
Note, I've found that Lean Cuisines go down easier if you've drank just enough not to be able to taste anything anymore. But not enough to make you... well, watcch the DVD after that part where I'm saying, "I'm sticky here. And here. And here...."
Grant--no wierd chemicals? What happened to better living through chemistry? Haha! I've already decided to die 10 years early in horrible, painful health. Therefore, chemicals are good.
April--I'm pretending it works regardless!
Laura--you know, the only diet type desserts I ever have are at my mom's house (my dad developed diabetes a year ago) when I visit Florida. I would usually rather have NO dessert than a diet one. I'm more worried about the regular food. For regular food, what I like is full fat sour cream, cheese, butter, etc. Hell, my favorite fruit is even an avocado, making it clear I can't avoid fat even when I'm being healthy!
MR--ahhh the days when my metabolism burned so fast that I was teeny tiny waisted and all! *sniff* I mourn the change of seasons too!
Amanda--of course they are gross. That's why they have to magically remove five pounds or nobody'd eat them, right? RIGHT? Just agree with me and let me have my dellusion.
Hoss-- the grin will go before my ass. Trust me. That honkin' thing doesn't leave no matter HOW much weight I lose. Due to depression, I went down to 99 lbs once and all that was left was bones and ass. No really!
Angie--ok, got it! Two glasses of wine means I can stomach the Lean Cuisine! But not four glasses, some port, and some limoncello, right? haha!
Reminds me of a Garfield cartoon. He pops a bunch of "diet chocolates" into his mouth, then quips, "A few more boxes of these things and I'll be skinny as a rail!"
Heh.
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