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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Little Bits of Nothing

So, I get to go to the Girl Scout Cookie Meeting tonight with the troop leader. Why am I going? Well, because somewhere along the line I got suckered into being, basically, next in charge for the troop. Yay! The troop leader should go alone, but she called me up last night and said in the most sad voice that she didn't want to go alone. Who's the sucker? ME! I am the SUCKER!

Perhaps I'm really going to hear more about how our cookie profits will be reduced if we fist fight with other girl scout moms. No, really. Until my daughter joined the girl scouts last year, I had no idea cookie sales were so tough and rough that moms actually have had fist fights. Last year at the meeting, those assembled were told about how this one troop had gotten a table at Lowe's Home Improvement in our area...and the troop wasn't from our area, so technically, they couldn't do that. We all have to set up tables in our local areas. So, an area mom happened to go to Lowe's that day and see the ILLEGAL TABLE set up right there! *gasp* What did she do?

Yes, that's right, she had a catfight with the other lead mom at the tables, right there in front of the girls and all the patrons at Lowe's. Lowe's doesn't want the girl scouts back now.

I think Lowe's has this one all wrong. MEN shop there primarily. They should make it a rule: here's the mud pit. If you want to watch the girl scout moms in string bikinis cat fight it out, admission is purchase of one (1) tool of $20 or more plus two (2) boxes of girl scout cookies. That's a win-win situation if I ever heard one.

Anyway, maybe I'm going to this meeting to hear more dirt. It might make it more entertaining at least.

*****

I've been in the South too long. It's official.

I noticed today that I'm droppin' the g's on my "ing" words. It was bad enough when I integrated y'all into my vocab, but now the shift is bigger than ever.

*****

It is ironic to me that I commented on Foilwoman's blog that I've been a registered voter for well over a decade and never ever been called for jury duty...and now I have been. Unfortunately, it's during my last week of classes. I need to be there at school for those. So, I'm having to fill out a form requesting that I get jury duty over my break instead.

*****

I'm having Chuck Envy. He's all caught up on his grading. Bastard! He's not only making me jealous, but he's making me look BAD! Should I be grading right now rather than blogging? YOU BETCHA! I have no self-control. Or at least, my self-control is minimal.

*****

This damn cold is almost gone, but my throat is still sore, and I'm still hacking up pieces of my lungs. Argh! Alex is also getting better slowly but is still sick. When the kids and I go down to Columbia tomorrow, we should all be just a lovely family, hackin' up phlegmballs left and right. Woohoo!

*****

And hey, last piece of thrilling info: Harry Potter 4! Oh yeah! We'll be at the theatre on Saturday to catch it. Kids are excited; two (in theory) adults are excited. Can't wait!

11 Comments:

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Me too. I never saw a "g" I liked.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

1) Troop leaders are usually insane.

2) Congratulations on your Southernerization.

3) I'm not commenting on voting or jury duty. I'm not jinxing me!

4) Like grading is the only reason you envy Chuck! How weird is it that the only thing I remember about Chuck is the night the three of us were talking about Dante's, and one of us mentioned chocolate nipples.

5) Thank God I don't have that anymore. I thought I was dying last week...I'm not entirely sure that I didn't die on Friday.

6) HP4!! OMG! I wonder if Ex will go with me??

6)

5:33 PM  
Blogger April said...

You're not trippin' dear. For argument sake with the blog Nazi, things as such are not appropriate. Not for November anyway, check September and you might find what you're looking for.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Joseph H. Vilas said...

While the Girl Scout Moms are mud-wrestling, and the Guys With Insufficient Tool are watching, can you send the Girl Scouts down here, please? Have them bring their Cookies. Thank you. ;)

7:02 PM  
Blogger Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

Take a "Guns & Ammo" magazine to read during jury selection. It will get you out of duty.

That is every where EXCEPT Montgomery County Texas where it got me ON the jury panel...

7:46 PM  
Blogger WordWhiz said...

I have transported some of my Tennessee southern-speak to the reserved and proper (and devoid of the letter R) New England area. I'd tell you more, but I'm fixin' to go to bed now 'cause I'm dog-gone tired! Okay...the "dog-gone" was forced. I'd actually have used "wicked" there - a New England addition to my vocabulary.

8:17 PM  
Blogger cookie monster said...

well with jury duty, at least you can cheer yourself up by condemning someone if your having a bad day!

3:22 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

What you should do is set up a table somewhere and offer the men a chance to sleep with the girlscout of their choice, providing they buy a box of cookies at a slightly inflated price ($100 or more, depending on the age). Then send them out back where the police can arrest the pedophile and take them away. That's win-win: loads of money for the scouts while making the community safer at the same time.

If that doesn't work, just knock over a bank. Nobody would suspect a girl scout troop until they start showing up with armed robbery merit badges.

6:26 AM  
Blogger Kira said...

Hoss--well, at least you'll understand me later on...VEGAS BABY!

Amanda--I'd probably go again when I get back! So would Chuck. He saw one of the hp's like 11 times. If I bring the chocolate, maybe we can get Chuck to show us what he meant RE: nipples...whatcha think? ;)

April--blog nazi needs HIS STONES STEPPED ON AND GROUND UP! (yes, still in foul mood, above post should explain why...)

Joe baby! I gots your cookies RIGHT HERE HONEY! ;)

GregCJ--not sure that'll work here either...rural SC. Need I say more?

Mandy--I can't wait to hear your cross TN/New England accent. I bet it's amazing! :)

Cookie--well, if he or she is a jackass, the individual is GOING DOWN, that's all I can say (based on my current foul mood)

LPBP--yes, although you may be more interested in what Chuck can do RE: nipples, chocolate. Maybe he can do both?

Grant--Ok, that is one of the SICKEST most HORRIBLE things I've heard...so why am I LMFAO??? HAhahaha!

12:44 PM  
Blogger Canoes under my shoes said...

I had no ideas that Girl Scouts taught their members how to mark and defend their territory. This will come in handy if, in the future, these girls grow up to be hookers and have a corner to guard.

Go Scouts!

Acutally, I was a Brownie. I skipped the Girl Scout years b/c my sister had me permanently expelled from the church where meetings were held. She and I were playing school. She was asking me to come up with rhyming words. She wrote "duck" on the chalkboard. Naturally, I wrote "fuck" right underneath it. I was probably all of 7 years old. I was old enough to know the word "fuck", but not old enough to know the word "entrapment".

Later on, I became an Explorer. That's a co-ed scout troop. Lots of Explorer groups are affiliated with professions, for example, you could have a medical profession Explorer group. Our group was a "high adventure" group. We explored how to raise money to go on ski trips. It was fucking great!

1:27 PM  
Blogger Joseph H. Vilas said...

Kira, woman, you're always promising up that cookie! You'd think you were Tom Cruise and your cookie was scientology! But girl, I know better: I know your cookie's done been filled. :-P

12:29 PM  

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