Youth vs. Old Age
My, how times have changed!
My beauty rituals at 15 yrs of age:
--bathe
--shave legs and under arms
--use soap, shampoo, conditioner
--no makeup! yuck!
--wear bra. any bra is fine, but no bra hurt.
--use nailclippers as needed
--brush hair
--brush teeth
--use deoderant
My beauty rituals now at 35 years of age:
--bathe
--use bath and shower gel in exciting scents!
--facial scrub
--shave way more than legs and under arms (with shaving gel now too ,not just soap) as old age has made me paranoid about body hair in general, plus I've found body hair in new and exciting locations (some of which needs to be plucked, like that stray little hair under my chinny chin chin that appears every so often...what the hell is up with that? It didn't appear until I was like 20!)
--alternate shampoo with moisturizing one or one that adds more red into my hair
--deep conditioner
--when out of shower, use rejuvinating facial moisturizer for face, use special lotion for legs, and use special hand cream for hands
--pluck things that need to be plucked
--paint toenails
--brush hair
--use concealer under eyes to hide fact that children, allergies means blackened racoon circles
--use base to hide fact that AT THIRTY FIVE I STILL GET OCCASIONAL ACNE! DAMNIT! UNFAIR!
--use lipstick because my lips are chap all the time and it helps
--wear super armor bra with metal support and crane hoisting capacity due to bigger tits and the need for the extra support that comes with it (plus, let's face it, two kids who were breastfed didn't make the damn things perkier)
--brush teeth, floss, use mouth wash, and carry mints and/or gum all day long in deathly fear of bad breath
--use deoderant
And then you add two kids I have to get ready too? Shit, no wonder I'm having a harder and harder time getting out of the door on schedule! I dread to see what it'll be like in five more years! What the hell ELSE can I add to the damn list? SHEESH!
I've probably forgotten some, too. I bet some people will comment and remind me of steps I do a few times a week as well.
I have to remember though: at 15, I may have had it easier, but I had to listen to my parents, had no beautiful children, and Alex was only 6. AW SHIT! My boyfriend was 6 when I was lusting after boys...ok, I didn't need to think about that one...
Never mind. Getting old can suck.
My beauty rituals at 15 yrs of age:
--bathe
--shave legs and under arms
--use soap, shampoo, conditioner
--no makeup! yuck!
--wear bra. any bra is fine, but no bra hurt.
--use nailclippers as needed
--brush hair
--brush teeth
--use deoderant
My beauty rituals now at 35 years of age:
--bathe
--use bath and shower gel in exciting scents!
--facial scrub
--shave way more than legs and under arms (with shaving gel now too ,not just soap) as old age has made me paranoid about body hair in general, plus I've found body hair in new and exciting locations (some of which needs to be plucked, like that stray little hair under my chinny chin chin that appears every so often...what the hell is up with that? It didn't appear until I was like 20!)
--alternate shampoo with moisturizing one or one that adds more red into my hair
--deep conditioner
--when out of shower, use rejuvinating facial moisturizer for face, use special lotion for legs, and use special hand cream for hands
--pluck things that need to be plucked
--paint toenails
--brush hair
--use concealer under eyes to hide fact that children, allergies means blackened racoon circles
--use base to hide fact that AT THIRTY FIVE I STILL GET OCCASIONAL ACNE! DAMNIT! UNFAIR!
--use lipstick because my lips are chap all the time and it helps
--wear super armor bra with metal support and crane hoisting capacity due to bigger tits and the need for the extra support that comes with it (plus, let's face it, two kids who were breastfed didn't make the damn things perkier)
--brush teeth, floss, use mouth wash, and carry mints and/or gum all day long in deathly fear of bad breath
--use deoderant
And then you add two kids I have to get ready too? Shit, no wonder I'm having a harder and harder time getting out of the door on schedule! I dread to see what it'll be like in five more years! What the hell ELSE can I add to the damn list? SHEESH!
I've probably forgotten some, too. I bet some people will comment and remind me of steps I do a few times a week as well.
I have to remember though: at 15, I may have had it easier, but I had to listen to my parents, had no beautiful children, and Alex was only 6. AW SHIT! My boyfriend was 6 when I was lusting after boys...ok, I didn't need to think about that one...
Never mind. Getting old can suck.
posted by Kira | 4:53 AM
15 Comments:
ah but with every passing year you grom more wonderful kira my dear! still suprised alex is such a younh whippersnapper though!
Thank you, cookie dear! But keep in mind when you call Alex a young whippersnapper...he's YOUR age...haha!
ah but i have youth AND good looks!
I'd love to go on denying the fact that I'm aging. At 38, I have a full head of GREY hair, a good percentage of which is WHITE. I dye it red in hopes of fooling the public, but I do a shitty job of it and know that I am fooling no one. My neck skin is sagging, and my middle is expanding.
I used to be so cute...
damn.
Yeah, but you're still smokin' hot, so obviously you're still doing it right! ;O)
You are NOT old, you fakir. Here's what you do:
Start over:
Put on deodorant, or not. You may not still need any.
Put Oil of Olay on face. Rub hands with excess.
Comb hair in exiciting new shape.
Examine. Call it good. The inner child is beautiful, so the outer child must be, too.
Send me all the money you have saved.
O, baby. Your boyfriend is 26? We have to talk.
Dearest, always remember that age means nothing.
Look at what I was doing at 6 versus you at 15 ... ;)
LOL - how true this one is. I have a different moisturizer for every part of my body... and for some parts there's are two - one for day, one for night. I create a hair products cocktail every morning to make the hair curly instead of frizzy. And the bra thing... ROFL - I cannot believe how much I spend to keep the girls from hanging too heavy. I will not wear a bra if it's not VS now. Nothing else has enough support.
The good news is, we know what to do with our men now, regardless of how old they might be.
I won't scare you by telling you what it's like when you hit 45!!
cookie--so does he! haha!
Laura--you're still hawt girl...you'll just have less white hair when the divorce goes through is all!
SC--all you proved with that one is that you are *gasp* MALE! haha! Of course I don't hate on the younger men. The younger man is the only one who has worked. REMEMBER! That's what redheads NEED!
Chief--see, that's just why I love you, dear ;)
Hoss--I think a man could do that one, but not a woman. It's fighting the genetic code!
EM--yeah, he's 26, but he acts 40. He had to raise his two much younger sibs, so he matured early and doesn't really show his age. Why, you want one? I thought you were married? haha! All my friends who have met him have put in clone orders for Alex for Christmas, so I just have to ask.
Alex--since you brought it up, I'll finish the thought. Yes, I guess I should realize that you were actually masturbating before I was, so it shouldn't matter, right? You're the best pervert in the whole world, baby!
Angie--true! And they know what to do with us, too, so life is good! I forgot the nighttime vs. morningtime differences in some skin care products too...man, it was so much CHEAPER to be 15, you know?
Mandy--go ahead, scare me. I need to financially prepare myself for what lies ahead!
Hey at least yours was in school. Mine was four months old when I was 15, haha!
Getting old doesn't suck. Just think of yourself as a fine wine. You get better with age!!
MUAH!!!!
Just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't fantasize!
A 26-year-old who acts like a 40-year-old sounds fan-effing-tabulous!
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