Some People Just Deserve a Bitch Slap
So, today just wouldn't start. My kids were in a sugar-induced coma from the night before, and nobody could move this AM to get out of the house. I knew that no matter what I did, we were going to be late. I was disgusted. This year has been awful for late stuff. When Ari went to kindergarten, she was late once due to us not being able to get out of the house. I think we upped it to twice in first grade. It appears we're getting worse over time because this year, we're up to three times, and it's only November.
To top it all off, the previous late day--about a month ago--I forgot Ari's lunch at home. She cried a lot at school because she was certain that SHE felt she had forgotten it and not me. Nope, it was me. Of course the school folks just gave her food from the cafeteria, so she was indeed fed. Still, I felt crappy for it because she had cried...and it was my fault...and I have NO idea why I'm so overwhelmed this term vs. the other terms. I had a summer break! I'm even teaching five classes instead of six this fall (although granted, I picked up extra writing center hours instead)! What the hell is my issue? Is it that I'm doing more with the girl scouts? Is it that the number of students I end up "counseling" in addition to tutoring or assisting has about quadrupled this term? Why? WHY?
So, now you have one part of the background.
Second part: when Ariana was in Kindergarten, there was a little girl who got on my nerves who was in her class. Let's call her J. J's mom was the homeroom mother and she did all sorts of Martha Stewart like things for the kids. J considered herself the Top Bee of the Ball and basically acted...well, selfish and egotistical. I tried to grit my teeth about J. After all, wasn't it rude to want to strangle a five year old girl? J's family was very wealthy. J's mom stayed at home and doted on J like she was the only girl in the world. J's mom also taught J to value superfical things. I dunno...I seriously questioned for a while if maybe I just felt on edge because J's mom got to stay home and be homeroom mom? Was I resentful? Man, did I ever try to give her the benefit of the doubt. But then I ended up teaching her older 18 yr old cousin. J's family rented out the roller rink for J's bday party and catered some food there, and the cousin I taught told me she'd be there too (the entire kindergarten class was invited, along with 50 other people or so). My student--I loved this kid, by the way--moaned endlessly to me about how she just detested how J was as J was a spoiled brat who always got her way. Ok, so after the student's commentary about J's personality, I nodded and thought, I was right. She's just a little snot. And at that age, a lot of the time, the reason why a child is a little snot is mom and dad.
Now, current situation:
J's mom serves as the replacement secretary for the school when the secretary is sick or is on vacation. She also is, once again, the homeroom mother...and yes, although Ariana escaped the delight of J in first grade, they are back in the same room together. J's mom the replacement secretary had to type up a document for me once, and I almost choked. She can't spell. She can't do anything that looks remotely grammatically correct. It was awful. I apologized to the receiver of the document because I was so embarrassed about it, and the receiver was horrified that anybody would be allowed to type up things for the school when she is so incompetent at it. Hey, did I go to her and say, wow, need some help? I can teach you! You can't write! No. I did not. Tempting, but I did not. However, J's mom can't help but be nasty to ME. How so, you ask?
We pull into the school late due to said sugar induced comas. I sign in Ariana and J's mom, replacement secretary, is there to give Ari her late pass. She then very deliberately turns to Ariana and says, "Do you have your lunch?" Ari nods yes and walks out. Now, if all she were concerned about was if since last time we were late I forgot the lunch, I had forgotten it again, that would have been sufficient to discover the answer. However, that was not J's mom's goal. Her goal was to make me feel like crap. She then turned to me and gave me one of those sickeningly sweet smiles that make me want to go on a mad, bitch-slapping frenzy and said, "You DID remember her lunch? OH GOOD. Last time you forgot her lunch, she was hysterical! Oh, she cried and cried, she was sooo upset, I just had to make sure you didn't do it again. I mean, like WE would let her STARVE! haha! Oh, I had told her it was ok that her mother forgot her lunch, but she was just STILL so upset! Poor dear! I told her, any time that your mom forgets, we will just let you go to the cafeteria and get food there!"
Oh, yeah, and she went on.
What went through my head? Well, first of all, stuff like, "Look, bitch, I'm lucky to get out the door each morning with my kids having their underwear INSIDE their pants instead of OUTSIDE. It's hard being a BROKE, SINGLE MOM. I don't have free time like you do, and I don't have money to buy prepackaged shit lunches either. But hey, I don't mind because at least my child is smart and KIND, two qualities you do not possess, but if you SAY PLEASE maybe she'll teach you kindness, ok? We can't teach you INTELLECT because the skull is just empty. Maybe she'll help you with grammar, though, although I'm not sure you'd get it. Are you just jealous because my daughter keeps winning awards and all the kids in the class love and adore her? Is that it? You wanted your little miss queen bee to be the most popular future cheerleader in second grade, and so you're pissed that my child is collecting accolades and is better loved due to her helpful nature than your child who--and I feel so sad for her--has been taught that appearances mean more than what's inside? Who is also given her every whim? Well, sounds like a personal problem to me. So fuck right on off!"
I bit my lip. I growled, nodded once, and told her yes Ari had her lunch, and then I left. Grumbling. Wishing for the smackdown. Wanting it, wanting it.
'Cause some people just deserve a bitch slap.
To top it all off, the previous late day--about a month ago--I forgot Ari's lunch at home. She cried a lot at school because she was certain that SHE felt she had forgotten it and not me. Nope, it was me. Of course the school folks just gave her food from the cafeteria, so she was indeed fed. Still, I felt crappy for it because she had cried...and it was my fault...and I have NO idea why I'm so overwhelmed this term vs. the other terms. I had a summer break! I'm even teaching five classes instead of six this fall (although granted, I picked up extra writing center hours instead)! What the hell is my issue? Is it that I'm doing more with the girl scouts? Is it that the number of students I end up "counseling" in addition to tutoring or assisting has about quadrupled this term? Why? WHY?
So, now you have one part of the background.
Second part: when Ariana was in Kindergarten, there was a little girl who got on my nerves who was in her class. Let's call her J. J's mom was the homeroom mother and she did all sorts of Martha Stewart like things for the kids. J considered herself the Top Bee of the Ball and basically acted...well, selfish and egotistical. I tried to grit my teeth about J. After all, wasn't it rude to want to strangle a five year old girl? J's family was very wealthy. J's mom stayed at home and doted on J like she was the only girl in the world. J's mom also taught J to value superfical things. I dunno...I seriously questioned for a while if maybe I just felt on edge because J's mom got to stay home and be homeroom mom? Was I resentful? Man, did I ever try to give her the benefit of the doubt. But then I ended up teaching her older 18 yr old cousin. J's family rented out the roller rink for J's bday party and catered some food there, and the cousin I taught told me she'd be there too (the entire kindergarten class was invited, along with 50 other people or so). My student--I loved this kid, by the way--moaned endlessly to me about how she just detested how J was as J was a spoiled brat who always got her way. Ok, so after the student's commentary about J's personality, I nodded and thought, I was right. She's just a little snot. And at that age, a lot of the time, the reason why a child is a little snot is mom and dad.
Now, current situation:
J's mom serves as the replacement secretary for the school when the secretary is sick or is on vacation. She also is, once again, the homeroom mother...and yes, although Ariana escaped the delight of J in first grade, they are back in the same room together. J's mom the replacement secretary had to type up a document for me once, and I almost choked. She can't spell. She can't do anything that looks remotely grammatically correct. It was awful. I apologized to the receiver of the document because I was so embarrassed about it, and the receiver was horrified that anybody would be allowed to type up things for the school when she is so incompetent at it. Hey, did I go to her and say, wow, need some help? I can teach you! You can't write! No. I did not. Tempting, but I did not. However, J's mom can't help but be nasty to ME. How so, you ask?
We pull into the school late due to said sugar induced comas. I sign in Ariana and J's mom, replacement secretary, is there to give Ari her late pass. She then very deliberately turns to Ariana and says, "Do you have your lunch?" Ari nods yes and walks out. Now, if all she were concerned about was if since last time we were late I forgot the lunch, I had forgotten it again, that would have been sufficient to discover the answer. However, that was not J's mom's goal. Her goal was to make me feel like crap. She then turned to me and gave me one of those sickeningly sweet smiles that make me want to go on a mad, bitch-slapping frenzy and said, "You DID remember her lunch? OH GOOD. Last time you forgot her lunch, she was hysterical! Oh, she cried and cried, she was sooo upset, I just had to make sure you didn't do it again. I mean, like WE would let her STARVE! haha! Oh, I had told her it was ok that her mother forgot her lunch, but she was just STILL so upset! Poor dear! I told her, any time that your mom forgets, we will just let you go to the cafeteria and get food there!"
Oh, yeah, and she went on.
What went through my head? Well, first of all, stuff like, "Look, bitch, I'm lucky to get out the door each morning with my kids having their underwear INSIDE their pants instead of OUTSIDE. It's hard being a BROKE, SINGLE MOM. I don't have free time like you do, and I don't have money to buy prepackaged shit lunches either. But hey, I don't mind because at least my child is smart and KIND, two qualities you do not possess, but if you SAY PLEASE maybe she'll teach you kindness, ok? We can't teach you INTELLECT because the skull is just empty. Maybe she'll help you with grammar, though, although I'm not sure you'd get it. Are you just jealous because my daughter keeps winning awards and all the kids in the class love and adore her? Is that it? You wanted your little miss queen bee to be the most popular future cheerleader in second grade, and so you're pissed that my child is collecting accolades and is better loved due to her helpful nature than your child who--and I feel so sad for her--has been taught that appearances mean more than what's inside? Who is also given her every whim? Well, sounds like a personal problem to me. So fuck right on off!"
I bit my lip. I growled, nodded once, and told her yes Ari had her lunch, and then I left. Grumbling. Wishing for the smackdown. Wanting it, wanting it.
'Cause some people just deserve a bitch slap.
posted by Kira | 3:28 PM
8 Comments:
GGRRRRRRR, I despise parents like her. I have yet to encounter a parent of one of Ethans classmates who acts this way. BUT, my friend in high school had a mother who was EXACTLY like this. She would always talk down to me because I was being raised only by my dad and we didn't have the money and apparently weren't as "refined" as her family. Yet I was in every advanced class with HER daughter AND was always first chair in the band over HER daughter.
She deserved a bitch slap too!!
Just take pride in knowing that Ari will grow up to be more than J will ever dream of. She's already that way at the age of 7!!
Her husband is probably fucking around on her and she's clinging for dear life to the thought that she's superior to everyone else because on the inside, she's afraid she's at risk of being traded in for a younger model at any moment...and then where would she be? With no verbal skills, no people skills, no work history...she knows she'd be screwed.
Pity her, the poor, poor woman.
And if that fails, bitch slap her out of the blue at the school Christmas pageant.
You slap her.
I'll bail you out of jail ;)
Hehehehe I wonder if I could have kept my cool though. If she was insulting me, perhaps. Insulting you...Now if I manage to stay calm in that situation...I deserve a medal. LOL
Hoss ambles in, conciliatory mood in hand, shucks leather, points his firearms -- at Kira!
Hoss says, "Calm down, Missy. Always have 'So it goes' at your lip tips."
With that, Hoss shucks his 6-shooters, and ambles into the darkness.
Oh man Kira, you are awesome.
When I was like 6th grade or something, one of my best friend's mom said she couldn't hang out with me anymore cuz' I was a bad influence and came from a broken home! And so yes, when I graduated 2nd in my class and ended up with a M.S., there was a bit of arrogant pride. Moms like that are awful people who end up with awful kids. I agree with lauritajuanitasanchez, the woman is clearly making up for the things her life is missing! I feel bad for her daughter, because her life will never be as much fun as your daughters (Chiquita stickers anyone?)!
April--this mom is the only one who behaves like this so far. Thank God. I can't stand it when moms behave like J's mom or like what you described. Live your OWN life and let your daughter live HERS! Sheesh.
Laura-haha! Yes, you probably have a good point. It's all she has, and she knows she NEEDS it to survive. I'm surviving without anything she has AND my daughter is thriving despite the lack of money and the lack of father in the house. That's got to get to her. Am I allowed to pity her AND bitch slap her? I think that might provide for the most satisfaction.
Alex darling--you've already shown consistently throughout the last several years that if somebody insults you, you shrug your shoulders and move on, but if somebody insults your siblings/me/my children, he or she can kiss his or her ass good bye. I don't think any medals would be given...haha!
Hoss--I'm a redhead. We don't do "calm down, missy." Haha! But yes, I know "so it goes." It's part of life to have people like this out there. But can I say "so it goes" and STILL bitch-slap her? That's the real question!
MR--HAH! That's fantastic! Best revenge ever! She's probably thinking, damn, if a "broken home" can do all that for a girl, maybe I screwed up. I love it! Honestly, though, sometimes I DO feel sorry for J. She's a product of her environment. She can be very sweet and inclusive to the other little girls in class at times, but I know it's more of a beauty pagent type of vote for me mentality more than anything else. Can a child have TRUE friends if she is raised to act that way? Poor J! How else would she KNOW to act?
Classic J moment: the kids were to say what they wanted to be when they grow up and make a pagent about it. My daughter--rock on--dressed up as a college professor and said she wanted to be a professor when she grew up. J dressed up as a britney spears lookalike and said she wanted to be a movie star. Brrrr.
I'm with Alex: slap the bitch, and we'll bail you out. But before you slap her, point out her grammatical errors.
People like that drive me insane. J's mom, in another ten years or so, will be calling her college professors to ask why J was dropped from class. Of course, we know J will be the one who is always to drunk (read: alcoholic due to an overbearing mom) to stumble to class.
i knpow a guy with a hotgun kira......
Post a Comment
<< Home