Forgetting And Forgetting
Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to learn anything anymore. I just forget the crap as soon as I turn around.
I don't remember being this bad in college. I don't even think I was this bad in graduate school. Sure, I had to make a list to go to the grocery store, and if I forgot it I forgot something critical like toilet paper ("Hey, honey, it's ok, at least I remembered Kleenex!"). Reading and reading and reading in graduate school didn't push out of my head all of the cat and dog lore I learned as a vet tech. Going to work for DSS as a foster care worker didn't push out graduate school, but I noticed that the knowledge WAS starting to take up enough room then that I forgot some of what I learned at my undergrad.
Then I became pregnant.
Well, pretty much when I was about 6 months along with Ariana, I realized I had lost track of just about everything I had read and seen in my life that did not pertain to babies or the household. RATS!
The matter became even worse when I had Jared. As he became older and older, I lost track of so much more of my earlier days that it wasn't amusing in the least. I'm now reduced to having somebody ask me if I've seen a particular movie with my sole capable reply being "yes" or "no." What was it about? Well, hell if I know! And then when I have students who have read some of the same fantasy/sci fi books I have read? Damn me if it's a book I read in my teen years or early 20's. I can remember the title and author and maybe the main character if I'm lucky. I can remember liking it or disliking it. I can remember...uhhh what was I talking about again?
My brain has an amazing processor. I can speedily use it for logic and puzzles and figuring out life's travails. However, I am beginning to realize that my brain's memory lacks space. When I learn a new item, old items get pushed out.
My newest passion? Wine. The more I learn about wine, the more I lose knowledge of other sorts I have learned. What knowledge am I losing, you ask? Damnit, I don't know. Already lost it. Aw crap.
****
When I left Columbia to drive back to Greenville today, I stopped at a Wendy's that plain sucked. It's the one on exit 52 on I-26 for any in that area...don't go there. I had a combo, and the fries were OLD and COLD. Bleck. There I was, shoveling the fries in dutifully anyway thinking, well, I paid for these puppies so I'd better eat them. Then I realized the wisdom of Laurita: Ow. Ow. Ow. It worked. I had read on her blog recently about her method for stopping the forced eating situations like that. If I'm not enjoying it, I need to stop eating rather than feel obligated to clean my plate. Helpful suggestion, that. Thanks, Laura!
****
The drive back home makes me brood as I miss Alex the second I leave, and then I realize it'll be another five nights before I see him again. So, I try to distract myself. I was thinking over my options for Las Vegas and remembering that, thankfully, I will get one alcoholic beverage paid for by WordWhiz because she promised me one months ago...haha! Then I pouted that A* and Hof wouldn't be there...which for some reason led me to remember when Hof posted in the comments one time that he loved shiraz wine right now. I don't know why then my mind started processing what French wine would be best to throw at him since I'm really into French wines now, but hey, I figured it all out: Hermitage. Not only is that typically good stuff, but it's made entirely of the shiraz/syrah grape as it's northern Rhone wine. So, one time when those two fab folks are in NC and not that far from me, I'm bringing up a Hermitage for us to drink.
Then I started thinking about my bra. See, my brain doesn't move in normal directions. How did I leap from wine to bras? Drinking too much wine removes my bra? Hmmm. I have no idea. However, I WILL say that I'm thrilled by my bra on clearance from Victoria's Secret. They sent me a $10 gift card just for having a birthday this month, and the bra was already on clearance for $20 (down from $42). I love bargains like that. $10 for a great bra! You know what's even better? They accidentally sent me two cards. So, the other purchase I had with it was to buy underwear. Three pairs of panties--great, comfortable tangas--for $6! WOOHOO!
Eventually, I pondered the last kiss I had with Alex before I took off. You know, two years later, this man can still give me kisses that fill my nostrils, make my skin flush, my tastebuds all leap awake, and my bloodstream energized. I was lost in that kiss. I don't think I've ever had a two year relationship before in my life wherein the kisses were still such a lifeline. I like that...a LOT. I wanna be the 80 year old grandma type neckin' gleefully with her husband of 44 years or whatever, grossing all the young folks out one day! That's my goal, and I'm sticking to it.
I don't remember being this bad in college. I don't even think I was this bad in graduate school. Sure, I had to make a list to go to the grocery store, and if I forgot it I forgot something critical like toilet paper ("Hey, honey, it's ok, at least I remembered Kleenex!"). Reading and reading and reading in graduate school didn't push out of my head all of the cat and dog lore I learned as a vet tech. Going to work for DSS as a foster care worker didn't push out graduate school, but I noticed that the knowledge WAS starting to take up enough room then that I forgot some of what I learned at my undergrad.
Then I became pregnant.
Well, pretty much when I was about 6 months along with Ariana, I realized I had lost track of just about everything I had read and seen in my life that did not pertain to babies or the household. RATS!
The matter became even worse when I had Jared. As he became older and older, I lost track of so much more of my earlier days that it wasn't amusing in the least. I'm now reduced to having somebody ask me if I've seen a particular movie with my sole capable reply being "yes" or "no." What was it about? Well, hell if I know! And then when I have students who have read some of the same fantasy/sci fi books I have read? Damn me if it's a book I read in my teen years or early 20's. I can remember the title and author and maybe the main character if I'm lucky. I can remember liking it or disliking it. I can remember...uhhh what was I talking about again?
My brain has an amazing processor. I can speedily use it for logic and puzzles and figuring out life's travails. However, I am beginning to realize that my brain's memory lacks space. When I learn a new item, old items get pushed out.
My newest passion? Wine. The more I learn about wine, the more I lose knowledge of other sorts I have learned. What knowledge am I losing, you ask? Damnit, I don't know. Already lost it. Aw crap.
****
When I left Columbia to drive back to Greenville today, I stopped at a Wendy's that plain sucked. It's the one on exit 52 on I-26 for any in that area...don't go there. I had a combo, and the fries were OLD and COLD. Bleck. There I was, shoveling the fries in dutifully anyway thinking, well, I paid for these puppies so I'd better eat them. Then I realized the wisdom of Laurita: Ow. Ow. Ow. It worked. I had read on her blog recently about her method for stopping the forced eating situations like that. If I'm not enjoying it, I need to stop eating rather than feel obligated to clean my plate. Helpful suggestion, that. Thanks, Laura!
****
The drive back home makes me brood as I miss Alex the second I leave, and then I realize it'll be another five nights before I see him again. So, I try to distract myself. I was thinking over my options for Las Vegas and remembering that, thankfully, I will get one alcoholic beverage paid for by WordWhiz because she promised me one months ago...haha! Then I pouted that A* and Hof wouldn't be there...which for some reason led me to remember when Hof posted in the comments one time that he loved shiraz wine right now. I don't know why then my mind started processing what French wine would be best to throw at him since I'm really into French wines now, but hey, I figured it all out: Hermitage. Not only is that typically good stuff, but it's made entirely of the shiraz/syrah grape as it's northern Rhone wine. So, one time when those two fab folks are in NC and not that far from me, I'm bringing up a Hermitage for us to drink.
Then I started thinking about my bra. See, my brain doesn't move in normal directions. How did I leap from wine to bras? Drinking too much wine removes my bra? Hmmm. I have no idea. However, I WILL say that I'm thrilled by my bra on clearance from Victoria's Secret. They sent me a $10 gift card just for having a birthday this month, and the bra was already on clearance for $20 (down from $42). I love bargains like that. $10 for a great bra! You know what's even better? They accidentally sent me two cards. So, the other purchase I had with it was to buy underwear. Three pairs of panties--great, comfortable tangas--for $6! WOOHOO!
Eventually, I pondered the last kiss I had with Alex before I took off. You know, two years later, this man can still give me kisses that fill my nostrils, make my skin flush, my tastebuds all leap awake, and my bloodstream energized. I was lost in that kiss. I don't think I've ever had a two year relationship before in my life wherein the kisses were still such a lifeline. I like that...a LOT. I wanna be the 80 year old grandma type neckin' gleefully with her husband of 44 years or whatever, grossing all the young folks out one day! That's my goal, and I'm sticking to it.
posted by Kira | 6:38 PM
16 Comments:
It's a commendable goal Kira :) I love seeing the old couples holding hands and looking at each with those grins that reveal decades of inside jokes. Happy marriages are so unique and I'm with you on the one I want to have. The 80-year-olds who have weathered the tough times together and still have that spark that makes their eyes light up.
Congrats again to you and Alex!
BTW, my mental hard drive requires me to delete a lot of old files to put in new ones too :) Way frustrating, why can't I get to remember everything?! College was too expensive for me to not be able to remember everything :)
So, you're telling me I should never have kids because I can't remember anything now? Thanks for the advice.
My mind works like yours. As I was driving to work this morning, my thoughts jumped from "gee, I'm hungry" to "Did I walk the dog?" to "MILK!! I SEE MILK!!" Needless to say, that last thought made me forget everything else ;)
Children have sucked my brain dry long ago. I don't even try anymore.
So you're in to French wines? Red or white? I find that they're much more bold than California wines.
I need to buy some wine.
I have that problem, but I don't have kids, so I don't have the same excuse y'all do. It's seemed for long time like I can't remember movies and books the way my friends do, despite or because of the number of books I read (maybe 1 a week?). But I still enjoy reading them, so I continue to read a lot, and retaining my tiny little 1% or whatever.
It's called "Fetal Brain Drain." I'm was a labor & delivery nurse, I should know. Plus, as a mother of four, I'm afflicted with it as well. I find it a real bonus to be able to forget every book I've read and every movie I've ever seen. You get to enjoy them over and over again, and the ending is always a surprise.
Kira,
There's evidence that during pregnancy, quite a few brain circuits are rerouted in order to prepare the mother for the rigours of baby care. Supposedly, it takes up to seven years for the brain to rewire itself to where its primary focus is not offspring. So, we've got a few more years, girl.
Maybe you passed along vital brain cells to your offspring. Good thing I'll never have children. I need all the cells I have for beer.
Don't dwell on that kiss too long or you will forget your kids' names.
(Hint: A and J)
I keep realizing that I do have information stored somewhere in my brain, especially when I'm sitting in stats class; the problem is, I can't seem to recall where I put it. For example, the other night, he was doing an example where he had to add two negative numbers. I knew there was some kind of rule for it, but for the life of me, I couldn't pull up the information. I was going over and over it - multiply two of them, get a positive, subtract this, divide that... but add - what about when you add? I finally had to draw a graph and count it out. =o( My math schema are covered with dust, I fear...
Hey, I got one of those VS coupons too!! Thanks for reminding me!
Yes, I will still buy you a drink in Vegas, baby!! I can't wait!!
Just don't be one of those 80 y/o grandma's who feels the need to talk to her grandchildren about their breast size or sex. I still cringe when I think of my grandmother telling me that my mosquito bites have turned into ant hills. I wanted to say, "Stop looking at my tits you perverted old lady!!" but I didn't.
While I wouldn't want your grandma to, like, abuse you or anything, she at least took an interest in you as a person, which is more than any of my grandparents did. Of course I only met half of them....
MR--I think my parents are well on the way to that type of marriage, so I'm watching and taking notes. They've been married for 45 years and still hold hands and giggle a lot. That is SO what I want. Alex has already been told! haha!
Amanda--all roads lead to Milk. I swear!
Laura--totally in to French wines right now. Red, mostly. About 9 out of every ten bottles of wine I drink are red...well, and I throw in a nice bottle of champagne here and there too. I love the Rhone wines like Hermitage, Chateauneuf du Pape, Gigondas, etc. I am also experimenting with some Bordeaux and even bought my first white Bordeaux the other week (Alex and I haven't opened it yet). This is an expensive habit, but I've already decided that I'd rather have one bottle of something orgasmic than five bottles of something cheap ass, so that's what I'm doing buying wise. It also helps that when I visit certain friends and family, I get more to sip and try! woohoo!
Joe--man, you still remember a hell of a lot more than I do. Your reading list has always impressed me, too :)
Juanita--haha! Ok, thanks for pointing out the advantages there. I never thought of losing my memory as a bonus!
EM--SEVEN??? Ok, that means I only have like two more to go. What excuse am I allowed to use after that point? I think I need to have another baby....
Grant--see? and that's why I can't drink beer! Those cells are already being used! (wine doesn't count, right?)
Gene--who? what? I have children? Oh CRAP! I knew that was a great kiss! That's how you get children? Where are they? Wait, I have two beds, and there are two lumps in them right now...oh shit, children!
Angie--covered with dust implies I KEPT the knowledge somewhere. At least you managed that!
Mandy--remember to use the VS coupon by the last day of this month or it expires, you aquarian you! And have fun on that cruise.
April--you know, my grandmother always sneezed loud and it sounded like she was saying, "HORSESHIT!" I have to say she never noticed my tits, though.
Kira, what's the white Bordeaux? I like Graves, but they're not so affordable as they once were. I've still got one bottle of Chateau Carbonnieux 2000 left out of a case. It was not cheap. I wonder what will cause me to drag that out.
And I'm glad my reading impresses you, but do you respect it as much as Alex respects your brother's TV? :)
Well, shoot, I was under the impression that ALL 2000 Bordeaux were pricey due to it being one of those rare exceptional years! The white bordeaux that I bought to try is at Alex's house, but I think it's a Chateau Coucheroy Pessac Blanc. I can't remember the vintage...all I know was that it was definitely not a 2000...haha! Hmmm...maybe a 2003? Just guessing. It wasn't pricey; I was trying to find an inexpensive but decent white bordeaux to try at first. I define "wasn't pricey" typically as "under $15".
I don't think anybody can respect anything as much as Alex respects that TV, but I still respect you a LOT, Joe :)
I guess I'm talking about my late undergraduate days, when it seemed one could walk into a grocery store and find a decent Graves for, say, $6. I can't do that any more. In fact, I can't find much white wine I like at all. Comparatively speaking, buying and drinking reds seems like falling off a log -- drunk. :) But when I tasted that Carbonnieux -- maybe two or three years ago? -- I went back and bought the rest of the case. I think it was over $30 a bottle, but I liked it, and I wasn't going to let it go.
Thank you for your respect. It means a lot to me -- really. I also bet your reading list would be much more impressive than mine, but you've got that family and relationship thing going, plus all those papers to grade. I'm actually watching a lot of TV these days. It's scary. I should be sharpening your knives instead.
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