Living the Good Life
"Well, you're just happy to be here, aren't you?" --Willy Wonka
Since I'm not French, I don't mind revealing to you how broke I am. That is, in French culture, one never discusses one's salary. Money is just not brought up. Well, I'm American, so here we go: I make $19k a year as an adjunct instructor in English at a local community college. If I'm able to work over the summer, I make another $4k to $5k, but that is eaten up a lot by daycare costs. I have an ex husband who has been unemployed for over two years, and he borrows against his credit cards just to give me his half of the afterschool care payments for the kids. Why do my kids attend after school care if my ex lives ten min from their school and is unemployed? Good question. Ask him.
My brother and my parents are very well off, and therefore they periodically thrust money into my hands. They've learned a very specific dance they have to do with me in order to get me to accept it. I have too much pride. However, the truth of the matter is that their generosity allows me to do some rather fun things with my children that I could not otherwise, such as trips to the zoo, museum, movies, ice cream parlor, and whatnot. It's through them that I end up living the good life despite being poor.
A few years ago, a student told me once after I mentioned that I was heading to France, "You know what, Kira? You really live the good life!" I protested this idea. I mean, I'm POOR! I'm BROKE! How could I????
But I thought about it, and I laughed. He's right. I live the DAMN GOOD LIFE, and it's largely because of the wonderful friends and family I have been blessed with throughout my life. I don't know why they are all so good to me. There have been nights I've actually had tears fill my eyes because I feel so UNWORTHY of having such fine and fabulous people in my life. What do I have to return to them except my heart and hands? I try to be there for them whenever they need me, and in whatever way possible, but it just doesn't seem to equal what they do for me. I'm thankful they think it's enough even if I don't.
What is the good life? Well, my first trip out to France was paid for by Alex. That's how I managed to go. My friend Joe has visited me and brought down enormously costly bags of gourmet cheese which made me orgasm and moan (Joe, if you're reading this, I LOVED that last cheese you gave me. YUMMY!). He also tends to buy meals for me and/or my kids, give me long distance phone cards (I have no long distance service on my phone and that worries him), hand me my allergy meds, and once even bought me groceries (complete with two nice bottles of wine). Terry works for Adam and Eve, so he gives me....um...adult products and a stellar discount...haha! My dear friend Lee--one of my closest friends from the age of 13 onwards--bought my washer and dryer when I had to move out. She also sent me $300 this year just for "cat maintenence" because she became aware that my cat had to have a few things done. Lee's an amazing person, really, as she has been the kind of friend every girl begs to have. She has only jumped up and down whenever anything good happens to me, and when men hit on me or others want to spend time with me, rather than be jealous for even a second, she smiles at me and tells me of COURSE this is the way life is because I'm such a great person. Seriously--she's always happy for me no matter what, and she's always there when I need her. She drove up from Tampa when I moved out so I could have a shoulder to cry on (she wasn't allowed to help with the moving as a friend of mine from CANADA flew down to move me out...he told the customs officers who questioned him, "Yeah, well, I'm the only male strong enough to move her stuff who also won't hit on her while she's vulnerable, so I have to come in from Canada." HAHA!). That's REALLY why she drove up for over a week: she wanted to keep me company because she knew how traumatized I was by the whole collapse of the marriage. Various other friends purchase meals for me or little gifts...offer to pet sit even at great inconvenience....and do things like send me enough money to go to bloggercon. I didn't even go into the TWO TIMES my friends Rob and Madella took vacation time and drove up to tile my house, did I? One time it was "just" the backsplash. The second time it was my kitchen and dining room floor. Vacation time...to tile my house. Remarkable!
Do you SEE how lucky I am? I am poor, but I am rich. I cannot live the good life because I'm a teacher, but my friends and family make sure I can do all sorts of things I couldn't otherwise like travel, eat well, drink wine, and have fun outings with the kids. I don't understand why I have been so lucky to find and surround myself with such terrific people, but wow!
Even my students help me live the good life. They've given me alcohol like wine and grey goose vodka; treated me to many meals out; given me tons of clothes, shoes, jewelry, and food; and left me with books. The students usually have no more money than I have, yet they manage to give me gifts every single term. WHY?
I live the good life. And I live the good life solely because...I am the luckiest woman ever to live. I have met people, good people, who insist on loving me despite my odd quirks (like that I can't ever start up an msn conversation...or pick up the phone...I hate making First Contact...I can do emails though!). Confusing but true: who cares if you're poor if you're rich?
Thank you, my friends. You are so good to me, and I am so grateful. Thank you.
Since I'm not French, I don't mind revealing to you how broke I am. That is, in French culture, one never discusses one's salary. Money is just not brought up. Well, I'm American, so here we go: I make $19k a year as an adjunct instructor in English at a local community college. If I'm able to work over the summer, I make another $4k to $5k, but that is eaten up a lot by daycare costs. I have an ex husband who has been unemployed for over two years, and he borrows against his credit cards just to give me his half of the afterschool care payments for the kids. Why do my kids attend after school care if my ex lives ten min from their school and is unemployed? Good question. Ask him.
My brother and my parents are very well off, and therefore they periodically thrust money into my hands. They've learned a very specific dance they have to do with me in order to get me to accept it. I have too much pride. However, the truth of the matter is that their generosity allows me to do some rather fun things with my children that I could not otherwise, such as trips to the zoo, museum, movies, ice cream parlor, and whatnot. It's through them that I end up living the good life despite being poor.
A few years ago, a student told me once after I mentioned that I was heading to France, "You know what, Kira? You really live the good life!" I protested this idea. I mean, I'm POOR! I'm BROKE! How could I????
But I thought about it, and I laughed. He's right. I live the DAMN GOOD LIFE, and it's largely because of the wonderful friends and family I have been blessed with throughout my life. I don't know why they are all so good to me. There have been nights I've actually had tears fill my eyes because I feel so UNWORTHY of having such fine and fabulous people in my life. What do I have to return to them except my heart and hands? I try to be there for them whenever they need me, and in whatever way possible, but it just doesn't seem to equal what they do for me. I'm thankful they think it's enough even if I don't.
What is the good life? Well, my first trip out to France was paid for by Alex. That's how I managed to go. My friend Joe has visited me and brought down enormously costly bags of gourmet cheese which made me orgasm and moan (Joe, if you're reading this, I LOVED that last cheese you gave me. YUMMY!). He also tends to buy meals for me and/or my kids, give me long distance phone cards (I have no long distance service on my phone and that worries him), hand me my allergy meds, and once even bought me groceries (complete with two nice bottles of wine). Terry works for Adam and Eve, so he gives me....um...adult products and a stellar discount...haha! My dear friend Lee--one of my closest friends from the age of 13 onwards--bought my washer and dryer when I had to move out. She also sent me $300 this year just for "cat maintenence" because she became aware that my cat had to have a few things done. Lee's an amazing person, really, as she has been the kind of friend every girl begs to have. She has only jumped up and down whenever anything good happens to me, and when men hit on me or others want to spend time with me, rather than be jealous for even a second, she smiles at me and tells me of COURSE this is the way life is because I'm such a great person. Seriously--she's always happy for me no matter what, and she's always there when I need her. She drove up from Tampa when I moved out so I could have a shoulder to cry on (she wasn't allowed to help with the moving as a friend of mine from CANADA flew down to move me out...he told the customs officers who questioned him, "Yeah, well, I'm the only male strong enough to move her stuff who also won't hit on her while she's vulnerable, so I have to come in from Canada." HAHA!). That's REALLY why she drove up for over a week: she wanted to keep me company because she knew how traumatized I was by the whole collapse of the marriage. Various other friends purchase meals for me or little gifts...offer to pet sit even at great inconvenience....and do things like send me enough money to go to bloggercon. I didn't even go into the TWO TIMES my friends Rob and Madella took vacation time and drove up to tile my house, did I? One time it was "just" the backsplash. The second time it was my kitchen and dining room floor. Vacation time...to tile my house. Remarkable!
Do you SEE how lucky I am? I am poor, but I am rich. I cannot live the good life because I'm a teacher, but my friends and family make sure I can do all sorts of things I couldn't otherwise like travel, eat well, drink wine, and have fun outings with the kids. I don't understand why I have been so lucky to find and surround myself with such terrific people, but wow!
Even my students help me live the good life. They've given me alcohol like wine and grey goose vodka; treated me to many meals out; given me tons of clothes, shoes, jewelry, and food; and left me with books. The students usually have no more money than I have, yet they manage to give me gifts every single term. WHY?
I live the good life. And I live the good life solely because...I am the luckiest woman ever to live. I have met people, good people, who insist on loving me despite my odd quirks (like that I can't ever start up an msn conversation...or pick up the phone...I hate making First Contact...I can do emails though!). Confusing but true: who cares if you're poor if you're rich?
Thank you, my friends. You are so good to me, and I am so grateful. Thank you.
posted by Kira | 3:16 PM
17 Comments:
You've nailed it. Being surrounded by people who sincerely care about you makes life so much better.
I suspect all this is because you're so good and decent and caring and stuff.
Now then, where do I find the friend that's indulging with the Cadillac of booze, Grey Goose Vodka?
Right on, Hoss.
You've got a great 'tude, Kira.
Sheesh, I was an adjunct at a private college, and my students hardly ever brought me gifts.
Your karma serves you well. Treat it with respect and it will take you places.
But Kira, we're not worthy... we're not worthy.... :)
I think it's wonderful that you have this, and you definitely deserve it! =o)
Great post, Kira. I've been feeling similarly lately.
We tend to hear about all the bad and evil in the world. That's what makes the news. But there are so many more really kind and selfless people out there who often go unnoticed.
I'm a scatter-brain and have left my purse in all sorts of places. Once I even left it hanging in the stall in a highway rest area while on vacation. By the time I noticed it and drove back, it was gone. I canceled my credit cards and finished out my vacation, knowing I'd have to deal with all the hassle when I returned home. The day after I got home, my purse arrived in the mail. Someone had found and shipped it, anonymously. I couldn't thank them. I couldn't refund the cost of the shipping. All the money was still in it. Amazing.
These are the kind of stories they don't talk about on the news. The media would have us believe that the world is full of violent psychopaths and greedy, self-serving creeps. Those people do exist...but they are only a small percentage of the population. They are far outnumbered by the decent, caring folks who are quick to jump to another person's aid.
We are all very lucky. We all should take more time to revel in our good fortune.
THAT post is spot-on. Well said.
It is a piller of the Path of Wisdom that there is a decided difference between wealth and prosperity. It is possible to be wealthy and not be happy -- actually, it's pretty commonplace. But to be prosperous includes happiness, and more: prosperity is always having just enough to get by. To quote Irving the Sage, "Friends are more important than money."
So Speaketh the High Druid
Irving the Sage rocks. :)
This is why I like living vicariously through you. Now, if I could only think of what to do with all this money that keeps piling up on me. :p
I'm surprised you avoid first contact situations. People seem to like you. I've learned to avoid them, but only after accepting the fact that my personality has "restraining order" written all over it.
As I have said before, you are so amazing, kind, loving, smart, beautiful, witty, and just about every positive adjective there is. Why wouldn't people love you? Why wouldn't people want to help you? This is you, Kira. You attract people in positive ways. As you said, I'd take that any day over money. =)
Rock on, rich girl! What you say is true. I often think of how much good luck I've had during what other people would see as a bad luck streak. It's all about our relationships, our ability to invest in them and our willingness to give back. We are blessed.
Good friends are pretty dang hard to soem by, but it seems you've sure lucked out. yay for friends who really care!
You already know how much I dig you, so I'm just going to say it again. You guys need a better union. My jaw dropped when I read how little you make. WTF? You are teaching the next generation for you know who's sake! I'm honestly shocked and appalled.
Friends are amazing aren't they? You've just given me inspiration for my first soul-searching post.
u know why u get these good things happen to you kira? coz your such a wonderful person
Amanda--yes, and this alone can make life worthwhile, too!
Hoss--it was a student, a male student from summer of 2004 term...and I have no idea how to get ahold of him. Grey Goose IS the best vodka I've ever had. It has taken over Absolut as my fave.
EM--it's probably because you were at a private college. These kids are usually the underpriviledged, and those folks end up NOT taking a caring person who bends over backwards for them for granted. Private school folks DO. And I say that as somebody who WENT to a private college for undergrad.
Greg--believe me, I don't take it for granted! I DO believe that what you give to life and bring to the table is largely what you get in return, so I keep that in mind with every action.
Joe--LOL! I love you dear :)
Angie--thanks! sometimes I question the worthy, but I'm sure glad to have it!
Mandy--yes, it's not just my friends, but I've also noticed that random strangers are very kind to me too. Sure, some of them are bastards, but MOST people are great. And you're right: we lose sight of that in the news of all the bad guys.
NWJR--thanks! It's something that has been on my mind for a while now and I finally put into words.
Terry--Irving the Sage is, as usual, spot on. I would prefer prosperity over wealth any day of the week.
Grant--I DO make friends wherever I go. However, that's usually because they walk up to me first. And then we remain friends because they will call me on the phone or message me or whatever first...I eagerly respond, but I just hate reaching out, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's a reason why I can be annoying as a friend too. Oh well.
April--wow! Well, you've polished up the star that reads, "Kira's official ego feeder" once again...thanks! haha!
AS--I think that knowing salaries could provide motivation too. However, my salary really can't motivate anyone...oh well! Thanks :)
Laura--yes. Our bad luck is there, but the good luck for having those fine people in our lives is much greater!
CS--really good friends ARE rare, and I managed a complete set despite that fact. I am totally lucky.
MR--union? we have a union? Um...I don't think we do. Not many places DO have unions in SC, GA, this area of the country. You're making me wish we had one!
Cookie--awwww...thanks dear! You're making me blush :)
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