The One Good Thing
I'm one of those annoying people who can look back on a horrible incident and find the one scrap of good to come out of it. I'm not a hopeless optimist; I have a strong dose of realism thrown in. However, I always like to find something good in everything/everybody...it just makes me happier as an end result to not think of life as a craphole :)
So!
Was there anything good to come out of the two days of barfing and freezing and smelliness back at the apartment? Why yes, yes there was!
On Thursday night, faced with no heat in the freezing cold of darkness, I lit candles across the apartment, my children finding the various ones hidden here and there. I love candles, so I have a ton of them. The only problem is that if I light them, it's usually just one room. Each room has different scented candles...we had a little of the conflicting scents going off eventually...haha! The flickering flames dancing, shadows cast across the walls, harkened back to another era. We talked about how before mommy was even born, there was a time when we had no electricity, and so when night fell people used candles...but not for too long or else they'd waste the candles. Might as well go to bed!
Indeed, Jared was yawning and tired, and even though his usual bedtime on school nights is 830p, he was wanting to head to bed at 730p. We blew out all the candles outside of the bedroom and curled up under our fourteen blankets, Jared in the middle with Ariana and I on either end of him protectively. Our cat came out from under the bed at that point and, after some kneeding and purring, sprawled out on us too. We started talking about all sorts of things, beginning with how lucky we were to usually have food, heat, a TV, video games, and all the other stuff in our house. I tried to make the point that even though money was very tight for us and compared to most Americans, we're on the lower end of the income spectrum, we were still rich. We were wealthy in the most important things: each other, health, love, plenty of food to eat, and a nice, safe place to curl up in at night. Jared fell asleep in the middle of all that, which was fine since he's a little young to absorb that message. Ariana, however, nodded intently as if she saw clearly the truth of the matter.
With the three candles in my room darting and weaving, casting soft light into the room, Ariana and I then told each other ghost stories. We giggled while Jared slept on, branching out from ghost stories to funny moments we enjoyed in life...our dreams...our fears. There was nothing there to distract us from each other. I rather treasure that moment as one of the finer mother/daughter times I've ever had with her, and I hope she will too one day.
We slept so soundly that night despite the cold. Whatever body part stuck out from the blanket was always chilled, but the rest of us were so warm and cozy, what with the bodies underneath the 14 blankets and the cat heater on top. I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when I went back I just watched my little angels sleep, their thick, black lashes covering delicate and innocent eyes, eyes that had not yet seen too much to dull their enthusiasm for all that surrounded them. No electric heat source can duplicate the warmth cast from snuggling bodies and a heartened soul feeding off the beauty before her.
Yes, the two days were horridly crappy. Yes, I never want to go through that again. But yes...yes...I have a good life...and I am very grateful for it...and I will never forget the diamond stuck in the middle of the stone that was that Thursday night.
So!
Was there anything good to come out of the two days of barfing and freezing and smelliness back at the apartment? Why yes, yes there was!
On Thursday night, faced with no heat in the freezing cold of darkness, I lit candles across the apartment, my children finding the various ones hidden here and there. I love candles, so I have a ton of them. The only problem is that if I light them, it's usually just one room. Each room has different scented candles...we had a little of the conflicting scents going off eventually...haha! The flickering flames dancing, shadows cast across the walls, harkened back to another era. We talked about how before mommy was even born, there was a time when we had no electricity, and so when night fell people used candles...but not for too long or else they'd waste the candles. Might as well go to bed!
Indeed, Jared was yawning and tired, and even though his usual bedtime on school nights is 830p, he was wanting to head to bed at 730p. We blew out all the candles outside of the bedroom and curled up under our fourteen blankets, Jared in the middle with Ariana and I on either end of him protectively. Our cat came out from under the bed at that point and, after some kneeding and purring, sprawled out on us too. We started talking about all sorts of things, beginning with how lucky we were to usually have food, heat, a TV, video games, and all the other stuff in our house. I tried to make the point that even though money was very tight for us and compared to most Americans, we're on the lower end of the income spectrum, we were still rich. We were wealthy in the most important things: each other, health, love, plenty of food to eat, and a nice, safe place to curl up in at night. Jared fell asleep in the middle of all that, which was fine since he's a little young to absorb that message. Ariana, however, nodded intently as if she saw clearly the truth of the matter.
With the three candles in my room darting and weaving, casting soft light into the room, Ariana and I then told each other ghost stories. We giggled while Jared slept on, branching out from ghost stories to funny moments we enjoyed in life...our dreams...our fears. There was nothing there to distract us from each other. I rather treasure that moment as one of the finer mother/daughter times I've ever had with her, and I hope she will too one day.
We slept so soundly that night despite the cold. Whatever body part stuck out from the blanket was always chilled, but the rest of us were so warm and cozy, what with the bodies underneath the 14 blankets and the cat heater on top. I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when I went back I just watched my little angels sleep, their thick, black lashes covering delicate and innocent eyes, eyes that had not yet seen too much to dull their enthusiasm for all that surrounded them. No electric heat source can duplicate the warmth cast from snuggling bodies and a heartened soul feeding off the beauty before her.
Yes, the two days were horridly crappy. Yes, I never want to go through that again. But yes...yes...I have a good life...and I am very grateful for it...and I will never forget the diamond stuck in the middle of the stone that was that Thursday night.
posted by Kira | 7:22 AM
8 Comments:
I second that! I think that what I can take out of our never ending river of vomit is that (hopefully) I'm making memories of a caring mother for my children. I'd never want to experience life without them, barfing or not.
A little French body friction would have warmed you up Darling :D
French blanket is another fine technique we have.
Every one needs a Coleman Lantern. They make very safe and reliable models that use gas or battery. They are super efficient and light the room very well.
They also make a Heat Catalyst. This is a gas product and does produce CO2 but MUCH LESS than other methods. It is a very efficient heat source as long as you are conscious of ventalation.
We use to keep hand warmers for the winter. These look like big-ass Zippo's that you put in your pocket. They will keep you warm for a good 18 hours.
Fleece socks are a MUST! We went camping in Sub 40 degree weather. I thought the socks were just a wives tale but they work! Your feet are the furthest part from your heart. They loose heat fast and the cold travels back to the core of your body chilling you. Cover your head and cover your feet.
I'm a died in the wool survival NUT and I'm lazy. This makes an advantageous combination of skills. I stay warmer than most and expend less energy and resources to do it than the rest. Economy of comfort.
You read my post on the Rita evac, right? That should be proof enough that I'm eaither nuts or one disaster away from Rambo-ing my way to food and shelter.
http://oneparticularharbor.blogspot.com/2005/09/we-are-back-in-houston_112770117005403731.html
I always like to look for the silver lining too. Great story!! Enjoy Christmas!!
Angie--yes they do! I don't regret anything with my ex simply because...look what I won as a result! :)
Laura--well, I was a very sickly child, and I have the fondest memories of my mom's attempts to make my misery less horrid. So, yes! Our children will remember that, and it will carry them through rough times. It'll also make them call us from college crying 'cause we aren't there and they're sick, though! haha!
Alex--yes, I'm well aware of your French techniques, love of my life! Thanks for showing me French napping the other week...haha!
Greg--actually, I was wearing fleece socks. I have a pair because a few years ago, a friend recommended them to me since I have that circulation disorder and tend to turn blue too easily. They work! I will look into the hand warmers and the coleman lantern, however. I'm not sure if the Heat Catalyst would work if I have to keep circulation in mind...unless I open up my sliding glass door to the small porch the apartment has. Thanks for the suggestions!
Mandy--well, it's better than being miserable! haha! You too! We'll be at my brother's again for the holidays...how about you?
Turning a set back into an event is something my folks did well. I loved how you and the girl talked all night.
I love your moment! Well, reading about it. It's amazing how much a child can make a bad situation good.
I watch Ethan sleeping all of the time. There's something a little special about him when he's dreaming that makes me feel extra warm and fuzzy. =)
Happy HKRXmasux!
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