Who? Me?
It amazes me how I can be the same teacher and teach the same material, yet I get a totally different "feel" and response from the various classes. Two English 101 classes might have two totally separate reactions to a joke, an assignment, or the material covered. Once in a while I have a class wherein there are several people glaring at me or looking so confused they drop out; once in a while I have a class wherein everybody seems to treat me as a minor deity. Naturally, I'm rather partial to the latter.
This semester, I have one class that has a fantastic dynamic. I may be wrong, but I swear that each one of those kids typically look up at me with a happy grin when I walk in the door. They ask me all sorts of questions about ME before class, and I, in return, ask about them. After reading some of their journals, I'm also aware of what student has what issue, and this allows me to tailor some of our classes by using topics I know would be of interest. This is the class that has student C, who chuckles delightedly each time I ask, "So how's my favorite Mormon today?" It also has student M, the one who wrote the descriptive essay on a blow job. Oh, and to answer April's question about how she referenced the act, she said "sucking on a penis" rather than fellatio. As a side note, the first time she apparently gave one was to her very, very, VERY abusive first boyfriend when she was 15. I started laughing OUT LOUD in the Writing Center when I went over her paper with her because she made it clear when she started the description..."as I grasped his extremely small penis in my hand..." HAHAHA! There you go, guys. Don't be an ass to a girl. Then she will share with the rest of the female community not only that you were an ass, but that you have a small dick.
I have one girl in that class who just has a problem getting out of bed on time, so she struggles to get there when class begins, but she's funny as hell. I have another one who is, possibly, the least intelligent person on Tech's campus. What adds to the hilarity is that he is completely unaware of his lack of capacity, and just about every class he asks a stupid question that leaves the class in stitches. For example, when we were talking about the cause/effect essay, he said, well, what if you don't know for SURE the cause for the effect? Like, you have a fire, right? And you don't know for SURE if the fire was caused by an electrical shortage, arson, smoking in bed, or something like that. I said, well, a trained specialist could sift through the ashes and determine from the clues what happened. He said, well, but what if you don't KNOW for sure? I said, look, there are specialists out there who could determine it. He said, yeah, but what if *I* don't know what caused it? I replied dryly, well, then, you shouldn't write about it as your cause effect essay. The class laughed hysterically. The guy just looked confused. I had no idea how to explain it any further, and thankfully he dropped it.
We joke around a lot. Today, after answering three questions in a row on the same issue, I had thought the topic was closed. Then another guy asked in all honesty the same question again. I guess he spaced out the other THREE times it was asked. Instead of answering, I collapsed to my knees...pretended to draw my dagger...then stabbed it into my gut and collapsed onto the floor. They roared. We just have the best time while learning. They even told me today, several of them, what parts of my teaching methods they particularly enjoyed and why they thought I was such a great teacher. Yes, even people happy with their jobs like me really need that positive feedback once in a while, you know? It felt good.
Anyway, one thing that I realized about this class is that now they truly ask me for advice. Yes, I know, that's what I'm good for...hahaha! But they actually think I'm wise or something. I know, I know! Funny, isn't it? I came to this realization in today's class. It started out with me walking in and nearly the whole class shouting, "KIRA! KIRA! OH GOOD! You've got to talk X out of getting married! He's only 18, and he says he's gonna get married!" Now, they're all talking on top of each other like energetic puppies, and I set my stuff down and answer, "Say what?" I'm told that X's girlfriend opened up his journals (the ones he writes for class to me) to see what he was saying. She saw that he had written an entry on how divorce was rampant in his family, and therefore he was uncertain about the concept of marriage. Hysterical after she read this entry, she basically has demanded to him that he marry her to prove that he loved her. Um? I pointed out to him that he should be concerned that she violated his privacy like that. I talked to him about lack of trust issues if she's snooping into his belongings. I stated that sometimes we need to just VENT and then we feel better, and he should also explain that the entry was a way of VENTING his fears. Who wouldn't be fearful of marriage? Ok, that's my personal bias creeping in there...
From that point, I told him that likely what she feared was the idea that he wanted to leave her. What he needed to do, I said, was reassure his girlfriend that IF he were to marry, he'd only want her. Period. That she was the only girl in his life, and he loved her to death. However, he knew that at 18 with no college degree nor way to support a family should one arrive out of a marriage, he thought it was best to wait. For some reason, the class was very pleased with this response. Then, as I collected up their descriptive/illustrative essays, I had more questions tossed at me about a variety of things. Vaguely confused, I answered. There was murmuring. "Who needs Dr. Phil? She's better!" said one kid, and I laughed.
I guess for me, this whole day has been part of the changing of my self-concept. I never thought of myself as a particularly wise person, but people keep calling me that lately. Look at my life! I have not made the best of decisions, really. I try desperately to learn from my mistakes. I try to listen to those around me so I can learn without making more mistakes. That's it. That's all there is to me. Yet they're wanting my advice? WHO? ME? How strange! Is there more to me than I think? Or are they just all screwed in the head? hahaha! No, seriously...I guess I'm just wondering if I'm turning into a mentor teacher. I had two major mentor teachers in my life: Mrs. P, singlehandedly responsible for my great grades in high school that got me into Duke; and Rick/Dr. F, who influenced me so much at Duke that I took on his subject field (medieval and renaissance literature). I sought them out not just for school stuff but for life stuff. I looked up to them as wise. I just feel too wild and crazy to be an actual mentor. It just doesn't fit into what I thought I was! Do we really change like that over the years? CAN the wild child go to somebody who gives good advice?
This semester, I have one class that has a fantastic dynamic. I may be wrong, but I swear that each one of those kids typically look up at me with a happy grin when I walk in the door. They ask me all sorts of questions about ME before class, and I, in return, ask about them. After reading some of their journals, I'm also aware of what student has what issue, and this allows me to tailor some of our classes by using topics I know would be of interest. This is the class that has student C, who chuckles delightedly each time I ask, "So how's my favorite Mormon today?" It also has student M, the one who wrote the descriptive essay on a blow job. Oh, and to answer April's question about how she referenced the act, she said "sucking on a penis" rather than fellatio. As a side note, the first time she apparently gave one was to her very, very, VERY abusive first boyfriend when she was 15. I started laughing OUT LOUD in the Writing Center when I went over her paper with her because she made it clear when she started the description..."as I grasped his extremely small penis in my hand..." HAHAHA! There you go, guys. Don't be an ass to a girl. Then she will share with the rest of the female community not only that you were an ass, but that you have a small dick.
I have one girl in that class who just has a problem getting out of bed on time, so she struggles to get there when class begins, but she's funny as hell. I have another one who is, possibly, the least intelligent person on Tech's campus. What adds to the hilarity is that he is completely unaware of his lack of capacity, and just about every class he asks a stupid question that leaves the class in stitches. For example, when we were talking about the cause/effect essay, he said, well, what if you don't know for SURE the cause for the effect? Like, you have a fire, right? And you don't know for SURE if the fire was caused by an electrical shortage, arson, smoking in bed, or something like that. I said, well, a trained specialist could sift through the ashes and determine from the clues what happened. He said, well, but what if you don't KNOW for sure? I said, look, there are specialists out there who could determine it. He said, yeah, but what if *I* don't know what caused it? I replied dryly, well, then, you shouldn't write about it as your cause effect essay. The class laughed hysterically. The guy just looked confused. I had no idea how to explain it any further, and thankfully he dropped it.
We joke around a lot. Today, after answering three questions in a row on the same issue, I had thought the topic was closed. Then another guy asked in all honesty the same question again. I guess he spaced out the other THREE times it was asked. Instead of answering, I collapsed to my knees...pretended to draw my dagger...then stabbed it into my gut and collapsed onto the floor. They roared. We just have the best time while learning. They even told me today, several of them, what parts of my teaching methods they particularly enjoyed and why they thought I was such a great teacher. Yes, even people happy with their jobs like me really need that positive feedback once in a while, you know? It felt good.
Anyway, one thing that I realized about this class is that now they truly ask me for advice. Yes, I know, that's what I'm good for...hahaha! But they actually think I'm wise or something. I know, I know! Funny, isn't it? I came to this realization in today's class. It started out with me walking in and nearly the whole class shouting, "KIRA! KIRA! OH GOOD! You've got to talk X out of getting married! He's only 18, and he says he's gonna get married!" Now, they're all talking on top of each other like energetic puppies, and I set my stuff down and answer, "Say what?" I'm told that X's girlfriend opened up his journals (the ones he writes for class to me) to see what he was saying. She saw that he had written an entry on how divorce was rampant in his family, and therefore he was uncertain about the concept of marriage. Hysterical after she read this entry, she basically has demanded to him that he marry her to prove that he loved her. Um? I pointed out to him that he should be concerned that she violated his privacy like that. I talked to him about lack of trust issues if she's snooping into his belongings. I stated that sometimes we need to just VENT and then we feel better, and he should also explain that the entry was a way of VENTING his fears. Who wouldn't be fearful of marriage? Ok, that's my personal bias creeping in there...
From that point, I told him that likely what she feared was the idea that he wanted to leave her. What he needed to do, I said, was reassure his girlfriend that IF he were to marry, he'd only want her. Period. That she was the only girl in his life, and he loved her to death. However, he knew that at 18 with no college degree nor way to support a family should one arrive out of a marriage, he thought it was best to wait. For some reason, the class was very pleased with this response. Then, as I collected up their descriptive/illustrative essays, I had more questions tossed at me about a variety of things. Vaguely confused, I answered. There was murmuring. "Who needs Dr. Phil? She's better!" said one kid, and I laughed.
I guess for me, this whole day has been part of the changing of my self-concept. I never thought of myself as a particularly wise person, but people keep calling me that lately. Look at my life! I have not made the best of decisions, really. I try desperately to learn from my mistakes. I try to listen to those around me so I can learn without making more mistakes. That's it. That's all there is to me. Yet they're wanting my advice? WHO? ME? How strange! Is there more to me than I think? Or are they just all screwed in the head? hahaha! No, seriously...I guess I'm just wondering if I'm turning into a mentor teacher. I had two major mentor teachers in my life: Mrs. P, singlehandedly responsible for my great grades in high school that got me into Duke; and Rick/Dr. F, who influenced me so much at Duke that I took on his subject field (medieval and renaissance literature). I sought them out not just for school stuff but for life stuff. I looked up to them as wise. I just feel too wild and crazy to be an actual mentor. It just doesn't fit into what I thought I was! Do we really change like that over the years? CAN the wild child go to somebody who gives good advice?
posted by Kira | 3:53 PM
13 Comments:
You are still wild love of my life. And I don't mean just in bed.
But you are also extremely intelligent and very perceptive. You have a sharp mind. You notice things and can find solutions.
You are also introspective: you can analize your mistakes and use your own experiences to achieve better results and give counsel.
You are good with human nature: you can tell what arguments to use based on the person you are talking with.
You are just brilliant. Face it. We are all nothings compared to you and we bask in your magnificience :D
And I am blessed amongst all others for I am your chosen one.
Sorry, I meant to be serious but I got carried away :D
Your students know how great you are. And they are thankful that they have you. They will talk about you for years to come.
God I love teaching!
I was actually going to write my own post before this that was about the different personalities of classes as a whole. I have four labs on Thursday and the first and the last are just wonderful, but the middle two actually pain me to go to. I find myself dreading them because the students don't give me a single bit of feedback. For some reason, all of my disrespectful students ended up in those two labs. They don't laugh at things the other two labs laugh at, they don't respond to my questions, they don't do anything. Well, except talk amongst themselves. They've become the students who I'm almost excited to fail. Isn't that awful of me? I know, it is.
Will now slink away in shame...
Classroom community - we have lots of theory about how to develop it in Education, but most of it is done instinctively by the teacher. (Well, most of what the teacher CAN do. The other part depends on the students.) You are absolutely right - it's diferent in every class. I remember one class at Berea that was basically the PERFECT class. We did charity work together, all kinds of stuff. But the next semester, some of them went to one class. Some to another class. What was weird was that the dynamic of the people who were originally in the good class together just changed. The people who were friends in the good class were not friends in the new classes.
I am not sure exactly how it happens, but the students have as much to do with it as the teachers. When it's right though, it's fabulous. When it's wrong... ehhh - you feel kinda like Mesabi, lol. My classes this time are pretty different. I get more laughs after lunch. My very last class is hilarious.
The morning classes, however, are rocking the discussion boards; and the afternoon guys aren't as active there.
I think the wild child has an advantage over others in that she (aka you) have been there and have a broader base of experience upon which to draw.
As a corollary to your "Be nice to women because we have the power of gossip" maxim, does this mean that, if we're nice to you, you'll spread the word that we're huge? If so, you've got your next post right there.
No, not Alex. I meant me. I'm nice, damnit! Oh, feck off. :p
"Don't be an ass to a girl. Then she will share with the rest of the female community not only that you were an ass, but that you have a small dick."
You know, that was a long and insightful post, but the above-quoted line is probably the best piece of advice I will receive today.
Thanks for sharing!
The perfect person has no way to relate to the rest of us.
If you want advice, ask a survivor.
We are not wise, but we know where we screwed up.
We are not 'insightful', we know the pain you are in because we have been there.
Preserving the race means teaching the youth to be survivors.
Seems to me you are well fitted for the job.
Teachers are powerful people! It's good to recognize that and use the power wisely...for good and not for evil! :) Seriously, you have to be a person that the students can trust. You have to follow through on what you say. As a teacher, the children watch constantly and test boundaries. Self concept is often formed, in part, through the student-teacher relationship. So! That said! Having the students give you such positive feedback means that you are doing your job right.
See, you've got the wisdom of the ages (you're older than they are, have suffered through stuff they have yet to suffer, and enjoyed things they have yet to enjoy). Plus you're damn smart, and that always helps.
I always enjoyed a teacher with a sense of humor, and it sounds like you've got a good one. The other thing you have is a genuine interest and concern for your students. They can sense that, of course, and it draws them to you.
I forget who said it, but the quote, "Know thy self," comes to mind. I think its harder than it sounds, but you probably have a better grasp on it than most people do.
You make me want to take your English class!! It's more like Psych 101.
She should've used felatio. That's all I'm sayin'.
Alex--careful, love, your bias is showing ;)
MR--no reason to slink off for being honest. I don't ever look forward to failing somebody because that means I had to GRADE their paper. If a student annoys, I wait for them to DROP. Failing them means they stuck around too long, ya know? haha!
Angie--I guess that's what I'm trying to do with every class...build a community! Sometimes it's more successful than others. I used to worry a lot about people dropping and what that meant. Now I don't. Often, I find that those who drop don't really fit into the community (or simply have way too much going on to participate). By about this point in the term, I have a pretty decent little group going in all my classes. Still, some classes are more involved than others. My favorite class this term is the one with My Favorite Mormon in it, et al. They just totally 'get it' and function as a whole. The others I have actually aren't too bad, although I worry a LOT about my 155's. They're sweet kids, but they just aren't getting it.
Doc-t--wait, whose threesomes am I supposed to tell them about? :) Yes, I suppose there's something to be said for the person who has life experience speaking. And my avatar is Dawn, a comic book character. I always have been facinated by the size and bounciness of her boobies myself.
Grant--since you said feck off to me (mmmm!), I will spread the good word that your equipment is longer than Long Dong Silver's equipment, ok baby?
NWJR--yes. Believe me. After talking with female students and friends, plus reading a few blogs...that line is sheer truth ;)
Valerie--I think you may be right in that a person with a perfect life has no way of relating to the rest of humanity. Perhaps those very flaws DO make me better suited for the job. Interesting perspective!
Laura--you know, since I deal with the eighteen year old and up set, you'd think I'd not have so much testing of boundaries, but damnit, I really feel we get more at this level. I practice tough love as a teacher. There are boundaries. The rules are firm. If you fail, I still love you. Get off your ass and do the work, and I'll push from behind. Etc. It seems to be effective in a way that I can respect, and so I continue onwards with this technique.
Hoss--I thought I had to be your age to be wise? Kira 1, Hoss 0!
Juanita--yes, I have a very prominent sense of humor that shows up every single class. However, if a student doesn't "get" sarcasm, I'm a miserable teacher for him or her. Yes, nearly all of them DO pick up that I care, and you're right...those that sense it are very receptive as a result.
Greg--well, I TRY to know myself and my weaknesses...my strengths...what I can do and what I can't. I like to re-evaluate my position on planet Earth periodically too because we all change over time. I guess I worry sometimes that what I see is what I WANT to see, you know?
April--yes, fellatio is the more technical term, and so it would have been best. She kept a fairly formal tone throughout the paper, and that word would have likely been the best descriptor/term. However, the essay was still...um...special...haha! I'd love to have you in my English classes. Come on down!
I just found your blog and really enjoyed this post. I've been all over the place in terms of job/career: nanny in France, film industry in L.A., interior design, internet communications, currently I'm living in Vail and managing an office. But what I'm leaning toward now in my later years is wanting to teach. You show me that I'm not crazy, that it can be enjoyable.
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