K-4 Graduation
I had to go to my son's K-4 graduation today. Apparently, they "graduate" so they can go on to kindergarten. My son attends a public school that has a selective K-4 program attached to it; approximately 20 K-4 kids are let into the program each year. They started this the year Ariana would have been eligible, but I didn't hear about it until she went to kindergarten. Oh well!
I expected the ceremony to be cute but boring. However, my son was determined to make it entertaining...uh oh....
So, 20 four and five year olds have made their own graduation caps. They took party hats, cut off the tops, split them and glued them to a large, blue cardboard piece. They then attached a yellow yarn tassel to it as well. The cap is then secured upon the child's head by a piece of elastic. My son's hat apparently caused him discomfort, and therefore it became a tool of impishness. Yes, he's my son all right.
The children all file up onto stage and find the seat with their name on it as they have all been labeled. We are told by the teacher that the class will say the pledge of allegiance for us "...just like we do every single day for class!"
The entire class then stands up for attention...except my son. Please don't think he was having an attack of shyness. Nope. He gives us all a devilish grin, and then he leans back in his chair as if he were lounging around on a divan and being fed grapes. I see the whole of his class give the pledge, and Jared just looks at the audience coolly and mumbles to himself.
My imagination kicks in at this point as my mind's eye inserts, "I do not approve of the current administration and therefore will not say the pledge until sanity returns. Thank you." It was hard for me not to giggle.
Then as they all sit down, Jared discovers that his hat just won't stay on. He pushes it this way, that way, HEY! GUESS WHAT! He can move it to the front like a unicorn horn and then the WHOLE piece of cardboard covers his face! I can hear faint giggling every time he does that rather deliberately.
Awards are being given out. By this time, his nice shirt is untucked. He has also realized that if he whips his head back and forth JUST SO...he can flay both boys sitting on either side of him! COOL!
They call him up for his diploma and an award just about the time he has this revelation. One of the little boys next to him solemnly helps Jared get his cap back on right so he can go get the paper. He's doing a little dance, skipping and jumping as he gets there. His award, by the way, was for "Most Intellectual." Apparently that's what you call the K-4 Valedictorian. After the ceremony, the teacher went on and on about how brilliant Jared was (of course he's brilliant! he's MY SON!), and how his pattern skills and memory put him so far ahead of the other kids that it was astounding. I was hoping desperately that this fact made up entirely for my son's continuous hat dance on stage earlier. She didn't mention it except to smile sweetly at Jared and say, "I saw you had some problems with your hat!" *Snort* Yeah. Let's just call it that. Please?
One of the little kids had a nervous breakdown on stage when his name was called for his diploma and started crying hysterically. The pressure of being four, five years old is tremendous. That will never be my children. They are what I call the most extroverted introverts you'll ever meet. They can be shy at first and stare at you, but put them on stage or let them warm up to you and they're wild little clowns. Right after Jared's performance (which included some extra words and dance steps to the songs they were supposed to sing on stage), he hid behind my legs. Go figure.
I felt bad for my ex, though. He took time off from work to come to see the graduation and Jared couldn't force himself to care. Jared waved to me on the way up the asile; on stage, he occasionally mouthed, "HI MOM!" and waved more. When the kids came off the stage, he ran for me and ignored the ex. Then when the ex had to go, he refused to say good bye, hug him, acknowledge him, or anything civil...he just hid behind my legs again. The ex took it well and left, but I know that couldn't have felt good. At least Ariana was glad to see her dad (her teacher let her out of class so she could see the graduation).
Next stop: award day for Ariana's class on Friday morning! Please let them not get hats to wear....
I expected the ceremony to be cute but boring. However, my son was determined to make it entertaining...uh oh....
So, 20 four and five year olds have made their own graduation caps. They took party hats, cut off the tops, split them and glued them to a large, blue cardboard piece. They then attached a yellow yarn tassel to it as well. The cap is then secured upon the child's head by a piece of elastic. My son's hat apparently caused him discomfort, and therefore it became a tool of impishness. Yes, he's my son all right.
The children all file up onto stage and find the seat with their name on it as they have all been labeled. We are told by the teacher that the class will say the pledge of allegiance for us "...just like we do every single day for class!"
The entire class then stands up for attention...except my son. Please don't think he was having an attack of shyness. Nope. He gives us all a devilish grin, and then he leans back in his chair as if he were lounging around on a divan and being fed grapes. I see the whole of his class give the pledge, and Jared just looks at the audience coolly and mumbles to himself.
My imagination kicks in at this point as my mind's eye inserts, "I do not approve of the current administration and therefore will not say the pledge until sanity returns. Thank you." It was hard for me not to giggle.
Then as they all sit down, Jared discovers that his hat just won't stay on. He pushes it this way, that way, HEY! GUESS WHAT! He can move it to the front like a unicorn horn and then the WHOLE piece of cardboard covers his face! I can hear faint giggling every time he does that rather deliberately.
Awards are being given out. By this time, his nice shirt is untucked. He has also realized that if he whips his head back and forth JUST SO...he can flay both boys sitting on either side of him! COOL!
They call him up for his diploma and an award just about the time he has this revelation. One of the little boys next to him solemnly helps Jared get his cap back on right so he can go get the paper. He's doing a little dance, skipping and jumping as he gets there. His award, by the way, was for "Most Intellectual." Apparently that's what you call the K-4 Valedictorian. After the ceremony, the teacher went on and on about how brilliant Jared was (of course he's brilliant! he's MY SON!), and how his pattern skills and memory put him so far ahead of the other kids that it was astounding. I was hoping desperately that this fact made up entirely for my son's continuous hat dance on stage earlier. She didn't mention it except to smile sweetly at Jared and say, "I saw you had some problems with your hat!" *Snort* Yeah. Let's just call it that. Please?
One of the little kids had a nervous breakdown on stage when his name was called for his diploma and started crying hysterically. The pressure of being four, five years old is tremendous. That will never be my children. They are what I call the most extroverted introverts you'll ever meet. They can be shy at first and stare at you, but put them on stage or let them warm up to you and they're wild little clowns. Right after Jared's performance (which included some extra words and dance steps to the songs they were supposed to sing on stage), he hid behind my legs. Go figure.
I felt bad for my ex, though. He took time off from work to come to see the graduation and Jared couldn't force himself to care. Jared waved to me on the way up the asile; on stage, he occasionally mouthed, "HI MOM!" and waved more. When the kids came off the stage, he ran for me and ignored the ex. Then when the ex had to go, he refused to say good bye, hug him, acknowledge him, or anything civil...he just hid behind my legs again. The ex took it well and left, but I know that couldn't have felt good. At least Ariana was glad to see her dad (her teacher let her out of class so she could see the graduation).
Next stop: award day for Ariana's class on Friday morning! Please let them not get hats to wear....
posted by Kira | 3:06 PM
11 Comments:
Hehehe Jared is brilliant!!!
I wish I could have seen all of this, athough I doubt I could have NOT laughed at it!!
Can't wait to hear how Ariana's ceremony goes!
Hi ho hum -- well, what's this?
Ok, I'm over it now. ;)
Heh...when Bob in "The Incredibles" had to attend such a ceremony, he grumbled: ""They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity."
Congratulations to Jared for K-4 Valedictorian! Smart cookie you've got there. You described his attitude so well I could see the smug look on his face lol
Never heard of them 'graduating' from the little classes before, things certainly are different down here in NZ lol
To repeat what I said in a previous post, I'm totally grooving on Jared's sense of humor.
You make me actually want to have kids.
Two reasons:
1) Your kids are way insightful and little smart alecks at times, I'm always a sucker for that.
and
2) You're such a level-headed, logical, priorities in the right order sorta' woman and you remind me that mothers can be cool and not lose their sanity when they have kids.
(OK, Ariana. Here's what we're going to do.... When Mom's not looking, you mumblety mumblety...)
that had to be cute.. 20 pre k kids getting trashed and then driving home from graduation parties!
man.. things ARE different up there!
Great play-by-play. Sounds much more entertaining than my 8th grader's graduation last night.
Alex--it was impossible for me not to laugh either ;)
Joe--no man is ever over breasts!
NWJR--yes, I had no idea that a graduation was even necessary from K-4 to K-5. Who knew? I understood that they'd do it from 5th to 6th since that's the division from elementary school to middle school...hum. I think the school did it because they thought it'd be so cute for the four and five year olds. My son probably has made them second guess their decision now ;)
Amanda--yes, see a need and fill it! He's got it down pat.
Lisa--When I was little, I remember that the kindergarteners had the graduation ceremony. I escaped it by skipping kindergarten. Now THAT is the way to do it...haha! But yeah, it seems to be the trend here to have more graduations than are necessary.
X.dell--he's just as entertaining in person. Ask anybody who has met him :)
doc-t--I guess so! I had no idea that they even did it in the first place, but I guess they're doing it every year now...unless Jared made them decide it's not worth it...haha!
MR--awwww thanks! My kids are really sweet, but also smart and funny and have big hearts. And yes, they both inherit the smart alec gene from me! They always get invited back to other people's houses, which also must mean that they behave well enough when they think there's a reason...haha! I love having kids. That's why I could have one more.
Hoss--she actually wouldn't mumble it. She already has her verbal rant down pat ;)
McG--yeah, it was his graduation so we gave him a brewski and the wheel. It was a drive home we'll never forget.
Juanita--in all honesty, I hate graduation ceremonies. I don't like them no matter what. I had one for 8th grade and thought it was stupid. High school, ditto. Mom and dad made me go to my undergrad graduation. I, however, opted NO on graduate school graduation. It was such a relief to pay for my own degree and finally get that decision! With the 8th graders, they behave too much for it to be fun :)
great account. glad jared dared!
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