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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Friday, June 30, 2006

I'm Back, I'm Better than Ever, and I Have a Chainsaw!

Ok, never mind. I don't have a chainsaw.

After a long haul back up from Tampa to the upstate of SC, here we are! The kids are asleep right now and my cat is begging for food. It's 5a, and for some reason I fell asleep but then woke up and can't get back asleep. Oh well.

I remember a while back that NWJR mentioned how people set up paypal buttons or donation things all the time on their sites. Although he directed his readers towards a more worthy place to donate online, I, however, am shooting for unworthy. After two very long trips in the car with no cd/radio/clock working--and having no music to listen to and no way of telling the time--I think I'll set one up so random strangers can buy me a new one. No? You don't think it will work? Rats! Oh well. I guess I'll have to buy a watch and continue to sing random songs in the car. Still, I never realized how much of a spoiling thing it was to have a clock/radio in the car until mine died. I never owned a car wherein the music source died before. This is a new one on me. I've already made several trips to Columbia with the broken thing, but two hours vs. eleven hours in the car with no music/clock is QUITE a difference.

Next chaotic thought: Alex is in France eating fantastic cheese, chocolate, and bread, plus drinking great French wine. This is not fair. I should be there with him *throws tantrum on floor*. Oh well. We've had a rough couple of weeks, folks, and it's too long of a story to duplicate, but let's just say that it was only at the very last minute that he was given his I-20 so he could have his student visa to start up school next Wednesday, and for a while there was a real and present danger that he was NOT going to be able to continue at USC this year. My stomach lining is gone. I'm not being dramatic there...something really IS messed up there because whenever I've been stressed the last couple of weeks, I get really bad stomach pains. Pepto bismal is my friend. Nasty tasting shit, though. Oh well. Once he returns to the states and he does so alive next Tuesday, I'll be able to calm down...well, unless it's actually an ulcer. My mom, cheerful woman that she is, suggested strongly that I might have one. NO. I refuse. I know at least that ulcers are curable with an antibiotic, but whenever I'm placed on an antibiotic, I have a bad reaction to it. So, no. That's not what it is. I am plugging my ears. I cannot hear you. La la la la la!

Next chaotic switch: I have a nasty carpet burn. I am a very bad liar. These two thoughts are related, I swear. See, my mom does NOT want to know anything at all about my sex life with Alex because she would like to pretend that we're not having sex until we're married. Being engaged hasn't changed her opinion on that one at all; she just prefers to pretend and live in her happy Catholic world wherein all are virgins until marriage (a hard one for me to fake at this point with two children, you know?). I try not to destroy her reality at all. But, this vacation she kept asking me where I got this horrible wound from, and I kept evading...poorly. I couldn't even begin to think of a lie that would work, and even if I did, well, one of the main reasons I don't lie is that I'm crap at it. Nobody would believe me. I LIVE all my emotions out on my face! I just don't think she wants to hear, "Oh I received both my carpet burns...one is just not as bad as the other, you see...from wild dog sex on the carpet in front of the TV at Alex's place. Don't worry. The kids weren't there to see it." No, no, no. I am certain she doesn't want this answer. But now that I'm home, I don't have to answer that question anymore. Whew!

So, what's on the agenda this weekend? The ex gets the kids, so I'm going to do the following: drink alcohol with Chuck, eat good food, read books, write more (I can't believe I'm writing steadily right now...how the hell did that happen?), sleep more, and um....ok, more wine. Yeah. I'll miss sitting down and watching Emeril Live with Ariana tonight. We've developed that into a ritual over the last few weeks. I rarely turn on the TV as I prefer the computer, but she likes to watch TV with me because we can snuggle and talk about the show together. She figured I couldn't resist this one...smart girl! Usually she asks me to replicate whatever dessert he's making, but she has no interest in trying the OTHER foods. I still have as a goal in my life to eat at every Emeril's restaurant out there. The closest one to me is in Atlanta, and ironically that's not one of the ones I've eaten at so far. Still! It's next on the list!

All right, I think I'll try and get some sleep now. Let's hope it works. First I'd better feed this cat or he won't let me try to sleep....

7 Comments:

Blogger cookie monster said...

dog sex???

you can tell that im male by the fact that my attention was drawn by the mention of shagging eh? us males are blessed, we have 2 brains, one in the usual place and another 'down below'

2:58 AM  
Blogger Kira said...

...yes, well, as my brother often says, it's often with males the little head telling the big head what to do ;)

3:24 AM  
Blogger Grant said...

I'm glad your vacation is over - fun for you, but inconvenient for me. Get back to your primary job, which is keeping me entertained.

5:58 AM  
Blogger NWJR said...

I'm all for donations to the "Car Air Conditioning Repair Fund" that I'm starting. A simple recharge wouldn't do it, and they want the customary arm and leg to fix it so I stay nice and cool this summer.

I think that's a worthy fund, don't you?

6:26 AM  
Blogger Canoes under my shoes said...

French bureaucracy is still terrible, huh? I guess it's one of those characteristics that makes France France. (point of this story...make Alex live in the USA, visit France often)

You could've told your mom that the rug burn came from the time that Alex pushed you down on the carpet to go chase down and maim the person who'd just stolen your purse.

1:04 PM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

(1) I would guess that your mother would consider the rug burn the price of sin. If I were you, I'd say that sin is a bargain.

(2) Sounds as though your car might have blown a fuse (especially if the radio died suddenly). Perhaps you might want to take it to a trustworthy mechanic to get it fixed. It's a cheap repair.

(3) I'm sure Alex is doing other things in France than eating. And considering what one could do in France, perhaps the wine, cheese and chocolate aren't bad things to keep in mind.

(4) Enjoy your weekend.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kept coming back waiting for the comments to open up, lol. Okay, on the car thing, I second what X-Dell is saying. It doesn't sound like something too expensive. In fact, I think I had something similar in my Saturn once, and it didn't cost very much. The radio, the automatic seatbelts, and the interior gauges all stopped working at the same time. But the air did still work. But I'm sure Saturns are wired differently from Mazda's, so it's probably something like that.

Government is best when is interferes the least; too bad Alex is having to go through all this. When you guys get married, will he be able to have a different sort of visa?

8:13 AM  

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