Goat Cheese and Mammograms!
Amanda took me to a goat farm on Wednesday. She got to hear me bark at her like a seal for a bit since I was still rather voiceless. The trip was interesting. Any place that has both lesbians on tractors and colorful cocks has got to rock! Note: the cocks were very attractive roosters. They must have had a few breeds there because they seemed to have different plumage. I purchased a bag of goodies that had a pesto goat cheese (YUM), a dill goat cheese (YUM!), a fudge with peanut butter in the middle (Oh yeah, YUM!), and a container of this goat cream cheese and rasberry thing that the farm calls rasberry fromage. Yes, you guessed it...YUM! I shall definitely be going back there some time.
So, Thursday I sounded a little better in the morning, but then after two classes and tutoring, I was starting to go downhill again. Then I talked to Cookie Monster on the phone...something I really wanted to do, but I paid for it afterwards. I went back to barking like a seal. On Friday, I then had to teach a two hour class and an hour and 25 min class. Sigh. I was pretty much miserable again by the time I arrived in Columbia to see Alex.
Both classes entertained me royally on Friday, and since it's all about me, that means it all went according to plan! The second class was receiving some important poetry term definitions, and suddenly this guy asked what the term was for a word that read the same front as it does backwards. I couldn't think of palindrome right away, and somebody suggested anagram. I wasn't sure if that was it, so I tried to look up the definition in the book just in case. So, the whole class was murmuring on what they thought an anagram actually WAS. At that moment, a student who fits perfectly the stereotype of a Clemson Baton Twirler (hey, that's because she IS one...man, I love this girl, but she doesn't often visit our planet if you know what I mean) suddenly snaps out of her daydreams and goes, "MAMMOGRAM? Well, a mammogram is..."
Oh god. The whole class lost it. I was slain. I just...sprawled on the ground and twitched hysterically, which made the whole rest of the class laugh even harder. The best part was her facial expression: it clearly stated that she was serious. She was NOT trying to make a joke. She really thought that during the course of our searching for the definitions of various literary and word terms, we came across 'mammogram' and could not remember what it was. Oh, beautiful! Simply beautiful. (side note: an anagram is actually when one takes a word and makes the same letters form a new word)
Alex has been babying me this weekend so I will feel better. My voice is halfway back as of tonight, so hopefully I'll be all better by tomorrow. Alex himself still tires easily, but he seems to be a bit better this weekend too. Whew! And Cookie dear...just so you know...he's just in love. He's not under my thumb. However, he's also not typical male in how he approaches life, so I guess most guys would grumble regardless about how he treats me. Well, to all of you males who feel that way: feck off. Haha! I've never been happier than to be with a man who has a firm backbone yet is caring and considerate every single day of my life.
Speaking of that, I can't wait until he puts up his next blog. He's SO FUNNY because he complains about how men treat women more than I do...or any female I know. He's actually pondering writing up his musings on this topic, and I'm dying to read it. You must remember that this is the man who stated to me once, long ago, "Men are assholes. That's why I'm a lesbian." Also, he's the fellow who had me in stitches when we were at the mall shopping one time and a love ballad came on. This guy was singing out an impassioned plea of love to his girl, and Alex actually snapped back with a snarl, "YEAH, right, you say that NOW, but tomorrow you'll forget her and cheat on her and treat her like crap and leave her crying!" I think Alex has been scarred by A) seeing what my girlfriends have put up with; B) reading some of y'alls blogs; and C) witnessing his friends and brother in their attitudes and pursuit of women. This is also what happens when Alex decides that he doesn't understand American football, so he leaves the men who are huddled around the TV and instead joins us women in the kitchen. Haha!
Ok, so, I'm off to watch Fight Club now for the first time. One of my classes had like four guys insisting that I needed to see it NOW and that they'd quiz me on it on Monday, so I told Alex and we have a copy now to watch. Too many people have recommended that movie to me, so it's time to give it a whirl. Me, my barking seal voice, my hot fiance, and a glass of wine shall now retire to the (not respectable 20") TV. Night, all!
So, Thursday I sounded a little better in the morning, but then after two classes and tutoring, I was starting to go downhill again. Then I talked to Cookie Monster on the phone...something I really wanted to do, but I paid for it afterwards. I went back to barking like a seal. On Friday, I then had to teach a two hour class and an hour and 25 min class. Sigh. I was pretty much miserable again by the time I arrived in Columbia to see Alex.
Both classes entertained me royally on Friday, and since it's all about me, that means it all went according to plan! The second class was receiving some important poetry term definitions, and suddenly this guy asked what the term was for a word that read the same front as it does backwards. I couldn't think of palindrome right away, and somebody suggested anagram. I wasn't sure if that was it, so I tried to look up the definition in the book just in case. So, the whole class was murmuring on what they thought an anagram actually WAS. At that moment, a student who fits perfectly the stereotype of a Clemson Baton Twirler (hey, that's because she IS one...man, I love this girl, but she doesn't often visit our planet if you know what I mean) suddenly snaps out of her daydreams and goes, "MAMMOGRAM? Well, a mammogram is..."
Oh god. The whole class lost it. I was slain. I just...sprawled on the ground and twitched hysterically, which made the whole rest of the class laugh even harder. The best part was her facial expression: it clearly stated that she was serious. She was NOT trying to make a joke. She really thought that during the course of our searching for the definitions of various literary and word terms, we came across 'mammogram' and could not remember what it was. Oh, beautiful! Simply beautiful. (side note: an anagram is actually when one takes a word and makes the same letters form a new word)
Alex has been babying me this weekend so I will feel better. My voice is halfway back as of tonight, so hopefully I'll be all better by tomorrow. Alex himself still tires easily, but he seems to be a bit better this weekend too. Whew! And Cookie dear...just so you know...he's just in love. He's not under my thumb. However, he's also not typical male in how he approaches life, so I guess most guys would grumble regardless about how he treats me. Well, to all of you males who feel that way: feck off. Haha! I've never been happier than to be with a man who has a firm backbone yet is caring and considerate every single day of my life.
Speaking of that, I can't wait until he puts up his next blog. He's SO FUNNY because he complains about how men treat women more than I do...or any female I know. He's actually pondering writing up his musings on this topic, and I'm dying to read it. You must remember that this is the man who stated to me once, long ago, "Men are assholes. That's why I'm a lesbian." Also, he's the fellow who had me in stitches when we were at the mall shopping one time and a love ballad came on. This guy was singing out an impassioned plea of love to his girl, and Alex actually snapped back with a snarl, "YEAH, right, you say that NOW, but tomorrow you'll forget her and cheat on her and treat her like crap and leave her crying!" I think Alex has been scarred by A) seeing what my girlfriends have put up with; B) reading some of y'alls blogs; and C) witnessing his friends and brother in their attitudes and pursuit of women. This is also what happens when Alex decides that he doesn't understand American football, so he leaves the men who are huddled around the TV and instead joins us women in the kitchen. Haha!
Ok, so, I'm off to watch Fight Club now for the first time. One of my classes had like four guys insisting that I needed to see it NOW and that they'd quiz me on it on Monday, so I told Alex and we have a copy now to watch. Too many people have recommended that movie to me, so it's time to give it a whirl. Me, my barking seal voice, my hot fiance, and a glass of wine shall now retire to the (not respectable 20") TV. Night, all!
posted by Kira | 5:21 PM
10 Comments:
Let me review the trip to the goat farm: Pepper goat cheese (GONE!), pesto goat cheese (GONE!), fudge with walnuts (GONE!), rotisserie chicken from BiLo (still in the fridge...the whole thing!). I'm pacing myself on the raspberry cream cheese stuff...it should run out in about an hour.
Let's not talk about baton twirlers...some of us will be offended!! Although, considering the Clemson twirlers I've known, I understand perfectly. Surprisingly, most of the Clemson cheerleaders I've known are all actually pretty intelligent. Go figure.
Remind me to tell you a story about a Clemson twirler and snacking.
Yes, I know you're a former baton twirler, Amanda...that's why I specified CLEMSON baton twirler. They're a different breed. I've had two, now, as students...and they both travel to the same planet of which I cannot see. Haha! Yes, all of mine is gone now save for half of the rasberry fromage. I actually brought it here for Alex to try. Aren't I the best????
Ahhhhhh, TV night, that sounds divine! Alas, I'm starting spring break here, (which means Mommy No-Break). Oh well, I'm just going to live vicariously through you and your goat cheese and mammograms.
Hmmm -- cheese, cheerleaders, and mammograms -- hmmm -- sounds like this post is all about breasts.
And Kira, I haven't corrected your spelling in a long time, so I hope you won't mind when I tell you that the word is spelled "raspberry." (smooch) I always liked the word because the berries reminded me of rasps, and that's how I remembered the spelling.
So what did you think of Fight Club. I just watched it for the first time this weekend too.
Anna corrected my spelling of raspberry when she was four.
Fight Club looks like a pretty good movie, but I had an unpleasant experience on an airplane with a very weird guy I had to sit beside. He was watching it on his laptop; then, he kept asking me if I wanted to "fight" when we got off the plane. But he would always clarify that by "fight" he meant "something else" (and he'd always raise his eyebrows up and down when he said that). He reminded me of Andy Kaufman's character on Taxi. Not so much like Brad Pitt really. Anyway, he asked about 73 times, but I couldn't get away since we were on a plane. =o(
I wish I'd known you guys were going to the goat farm - I need some more of that feta.
Juanita--yes, when I was a stay at home mom, the holidays offered no refuge! I was out of the house by the time Ari was in kindergarten, but she was in preschool before that, and they had breaks here and there that weren't breaks for ME at all. I'm having to import Mom and Dad from Tampa for our spring break so I can get sitting taken care of for the kids. I can't take them to school with me the whole time, and their break is at a different time than mine!
Joe--it's my fault for refusing to use spellchecker. Someone with my issues should definitely be using one, but it never fixes the perception in my mind of what I am reading so it seems like a waste unless I'm getting graded. I blog for release, not for a grade. So, I have resigned myself to just being poked at for not being able to spell right, a pretty serious crime for an English teacher. Mea Culpa.
Prom--in the end, I loved it. At first I couldn't decide. Alex was like an overeager puppy, demanding I give him a report of how I felt the second it was over. I was unable to do such a thing. I had to absorb the movie and ponder it for a bit, and then I was able to say that yes, indeed, I liked it a fair bit. The worst part for me was in the beginning, I think I picked up every random flash I saw...which irritated the hoo-hah out of me. I didn't realize there was a purpose to it until later.
Angie--my daughter has my same issues, and since she's now ending second grade, I'm afraid she's in for a long hard road as far as the spelling issue goes. Jared, however, was four and correcting Ari as she tried to practice her spelling words in the car on the way to school, so there's more hope for him. The guy you sat next to would have freaked the shit out of me. I would have been paranoid of that man stalking me when I got off the plane! And I'm sure that the visit to the goat farm will be one of five thousand, so no worries :) I can eat some serious poundage of goat cheese! The feta is good too, but I just can't afford it all....too bad, 'cause I want it all!
Funny story!
Paul and I were away this weekend and we talked extensively about you and Alex. He's anxious to meet you guys in Vegas. I told him that Alex was "the man by whom all other men are measured...and generally fall short." I also told him the story about the TV a man can respect. Having just purchased an obsenely large 50" TV, he's looking forward to talking to a guy with a similar opinion on the importance of owning a television that garners respect!
This should be LOTS of fun!! VEGAS, BABY!!
" Any place that has both lesbians on tractors and colorful cocks has got to rock! "
OK, you're responsible for the cost of replacing my keyboard due to Diet Coke splurting out of my nose when I read that sentence.
Where do I send the bill?
;-)
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