Tawooo Wuv!
I am not looking forward to the teen years when my daughter no longer fully confides in me with total innocence and eagerness as she does now. I watched a tear-stained teen girl and her mom fight outside of a restroom at a mall this last weekend, and I shuddered. I just don't want that. Right now, Ariana trusts me with everything. I get to hear all of her life as it unfolds. I feel distinctly honored to do so, too.
For those of you following the Saga of Ariana's Loves, Ari has been "in love" with a little boy named Matthew since first grade. However, as of this year Matthew is in one class and Ariana in another, and Matthew has turned his attentions to a little girl named Tori. Although Ari is clear that this circumstance is NOT one she'd choose, she also doesn't seem to be bothered by it since she likes Tori. Instead, she turned her sights on a little boy named Mark from her class. Her attitude was, well, ok, so Matthew's gone, but there's more men around so I'll live. Ahhhh so many women could learn from my daughter! Let's hope she keeps this healthy attitude well past puberty.
Last week, Ariana came home and told me that she had announced her love to Mark. "You did?" I said, surprised. "How did he take it?"
"Well, I told him quietly, 'I love you,' and then he said, 'I kinda figured.'"
HAHA! Ok, so that reminded me of Han Solo and Princess Leia. I asked her if Mark then told her that he loved her. "Nope," she told me. "Momma...is it ok for me to ask him if he loves me too?"
Now, see, a part of me realizes that second grade rules are not the rules of the adult world. However, I couldn't help but respond in a way I hoped she'd remember for later on in life. "No. Don't corner him into answering your question. If he loves you, he'll tell you. I wouldn't ask. Otherwise, he might feel obligated to say what you want and it not be what he means. If he says it on his own, he probably means it."
But again, second graders have a different agenda. The next day, Ariana returned to the car and let me know she asked Mark anyway because she just couldn't stand not knowing. Apparently, he said yes. Now they're in the kiddie love stage wherein they sit next to each other and make sure that when the boys play, Ariana is included. Mark doesn't really seem to have a desire to be included in the girl play.
It seems so sweet, and yet so scary. I know it's the taste of what's to come. I can't protect her from a broken heart...that part just sucks. I guess for now all I have to worry about is that they get thrown out of school for kissing each other or something!
*****
My daughter is playing soccer. The first game they lost. Their team is the orange team...I'm sure Amanda and Angie are pleased that my daughter is on the orange team because it'll remind them of Clemson. I, on the other hand, am disappointed that they aren't the blue team (Go Duke!). Ari's disappointed too, but that's only due to wanting her favorite color to be her jersey color.
Speaking of blue, her first game was against the Blue team. Blue team kicked Orange ass. Ariana, who is typically a little shy and always sweet when you first meet her, scowled as she came into the car that day. "Momma, we need a rematch. They squashed us! It's our turn to kick their butts. We need another game against Blue!" she growled at me, and I laughed. Yup, that's my daughter.
Tonight's game against Purple was a total victory for Orange. Ari was thrilled. She likes winning a bit too much. I think it's the Oldest Child Syndrome. Certainly she is more concerned about winning and being number one than Jared seems to care. She reminds me of my sister (the eldest of our four) that way! Oh well...I think there are at least six, maybe eight more games to go. They'd better have a winning season or Ari'll make them keep playing until Orange comes out on top.
For those of you following the Saga of Ariana's Loves, Ari has been "in love" with a little boy named Matthew since first grade. However, as of this year Matthew is in one class and Ariana in another, and Matthew has turned his attentions to a little girl named Tori. Although Ari is clear that this circumstance is NOT one she'd choose, she also doesn't seem to be bothered by it since she likes Tori. Instead, she turned her sights on a little boy named Mark from her class. Her attitude was, well, ok, so Matthew's gone, but there's more men around so I'll live. Ahhhh so many women could learn from my daughter! Let's hope she keeps this healthy attitude well past puberty.
Last week, Ariana came home and told me that she had announced her love to Mark. "You did?" I said, surprised. "How did he take it?"
"Well, I told him quietly, 'I love you,' and then he said, 'I kinda figured.'"
HAHA! Ok, so that reminded me of Han Solo and Princess Leia. I asked her if Mark then told her that he loved her. "Nope," she told me. "Momma...is it ok for me to ask him if he loves me too?"
Now, see, a part of me realizes that second grade rules are not the rules of the adult world. However, I couldn't help but respond in a way I hoped she'd remember for later on in life. "No. Don't corner him into answering your question. If he loves you, he'll tell you. I wouldn't ask. Otherwise, he might feel obligated to say what you want and it not be what he means. If he says it on his own, he probably means it."
But again, second graders have a different agenda. The next day, Ariana returned to the car and let me know she asked Mark anyway because she just couldn't stand not knowing. Apparently, he said yes. Now they're in the kiddie love stage wherein they sit next to each other and make sure that when the boys play, Ariana is included. Mark doesn't really seem to have a desire to be included in the girl play.
It seems so sweet, and yet so scary. I know it's the taste of what's to come. I can't protect her from a broken heart...that part just sucks. I guess for now all I have to worry about is that they get thrown out of school for kissing each other or something!
*****
My daughter is playing soccer. The first game they lost. Their team is the orange team...I'm sure Amanda and Angie are pleased that my daughter is on the orange team because it'll remind them of Clemson. I, on the other hand, am disappointed that they aren't the blue team (Go Duke!). Ari's disappointed too, but that's only due to wanting her favorite color to be her jersey color.
Speaking of blue, her first game was against the Blue team. Blue team kicked Orange ass. Ariana, who is typically a little shy and always sweet when you first meet her, scowled as she came into the car that day. "Momma, we need a rematch. They squashed us! It's our turn to kick their butts. We need another game against Blue!" she growled at me, and I laughed. Yup, that's my daughter.
Tonight's game against Purple was a total victory for Orange. Ari was thrilled. She likes winning a bit too much. I think it's the Oldest Child Syndrome. Certainly she is more concerned about winning and being number one than Jared seems to care. She reminds me of my sister (the eldest of our four) that way! Oh well...I think there are at least six, maybe eight more games to go. They'd better have a winning season or Ari'll make them keep playing until Orange comes out on top.
posted by Kira | 6:45 PM
9 Comments:
As an older child, I totally empathize with Ari. You can't let someone else get the best of you. It throws the entire universe off balance until you can set it right again. Alas, in sports and stats and love and many other things, that takes time. Is she impatient too? I'm as patient as I can be with other people in my dealings with them. But I hate more than anything to have to wait for some situation to unfold, especially when I can't control it.
Congrats, Ari, for beating Purple!!!
Again, I ask: Can Ari handle that situation for me?
And, SC, you're totally right.
I love what you said to Ari. I hope she remembers it!
I went walking with a woman from work last night. She told me a story about how her daughter addressed the congregation at her church. Her 8 year old daughter had prepared a sermon on obedience and disobedience as based on Biblical examples...this is what happens when you disobey God and this is what happens when you obey God...point being, you're better off being obedient. The daughter finished the sermon with a little word to the wise "Listen to your mom and dad when they tell you not to hang with this girl or that boy. They know what they're taking about".
I told the woman that I hoped she recorded that b/c she may very well need to bring those words back to her daughter when she hits the teen years!
I'm sure your daughter will get through soccer okay as long as her mother doesn't degenerate into one of those violent, over-competitive parents who has to be shackled and dragged away from the events by riot police. There are better ways to deal with her losing. Use a blowgun to quietly take down to opposing team's star(s).
Too funny, Grant! Kira, I wish you all the best and I hope, HOPE that you and Ari don't have the typical teen/mom struggles. Maybe you won't. But even if you do, there ARE some good times. Few and far between, but enough to keep you going. I'll let you know when and if I emerge on the other side.
Aw that is too sweet!! I like Ari's take charge attitude. Make sure you remind her of that great outlook often! :)
Oh and um, GO HEELS!
>:)
My oldest daughter dated her first love for over a year...and when he broke up with her, she cried for about half a day, then moved on. When I asked her why she wansn't more upset, she said, "If I'm not good enough for him, that's HIS problem, not mine. I'm not going to waste any more tears on him."
Damn, that girl's centered.
Great post.
...doesn't degenerate into one of those violent, over-competitive parents...
What is wrong with that ? Isn't that why you can buy Sniper Rifles in ye old redneck gunshop down the road?
I am considering having Ari watch the Coupe du Monde de Football 2006 to learn some moves (that was Soccer world cup 2006). Or perhaps explaining to her what an "offside trap" is :)
As for boyfriends...Kira will have to reign me in if they hurt her Grrrrrr.
Ahhh, this is why I'm afraid to have kids... They grow up and do things that I was told not to do, but did!
I'm sure your daughter will be just fine someday, she seems to have an insight into life well beyond her age...
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