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Location: Upstate, South Carolina, United States

I think that the Meredith Brooks' song, "Bitch," summarizes me rather nicely. Or, if you prefer, X. dell says I'm a life-smart literary scholar with a low BS tolerance...that also works!

Friday, February 13, 2009


So, here is the background: Ariana had a boyfriend named Adam. She had had a boyfriend named Andrew for a year and a half, and he was a sweetheart to her. Then they split up as 10 yr olds can do, and within two weeks this boy named Adam asked her to be his girlfriend. I called that one to Ariana because I've seen Adam moon over her for two years. She told Adam that I had predicted it, and he thought I was horribly smart for seeing that coming.

Adam is a funny as hell kid, and he's really smart, too. He's in the Quest (gifted) program with my daughter at school. But he's always been an underachiever. Like some smart kids, he balks at anything too hard and insists that he can't do it. Last year, he was on the A-B honor roll instead of the A honor roll because that's what he can do with absolutely no effort. This part frustrated Ariana, but otherwise they had a lot in common and she loved being adored by him. He drew her cute cartoons about her being his dream woman, and he made her little animals out of beads and such. His family has suffered some deep financial hardships, so Adam found his own creative ways to show Ari how much he cared without spending money that they don't have. She appreciated all of that.

But then early last fall, she became too agitated about Adam's lack of motivation at school. Plus, she told me she couldn't stand it when he was in Quest and would just state firmly that he couldn't do whatever project it was without even trying. It got to her to the point that she decided it was time to break up with him. She said something about them not having similar goals in life even though they had a lot of other stuff in common, and I wondered where she ever got so wise. I have girlfriends who can't figure that shit out even after they get married to the guy in question. Go Ari!

When she broke up with him, he asked her why. She flat out told him exactly what she already told me. She didn't give him some nonsense to spare his feelings or to give him false hope or anything--she's MY girl, so she tells it like it is. Adam said he understood. And they remained friends.

Well, then Adam did an amazing thing. He started studying in school. He started trying really hard in Quest. Now, Ari didn't ask him to do this. She didn't say, "And if you change all of this, we'll be back together." She just flat out told him: this frustrates me about you, and since I can't deal with it, we're done. So, I feel like Adam is also way wiser than your average male twice his age. He listened to the girl he loved, and rather than making any promises he may or may not have kept, he just went out and made the changes he knew he needed to do for both her as well as him anyway. He kept it up continuously for months. Shoot, I figure his mom must want to take Ari home right now as it stands...haha! Ari noted this to me--wow, Mom, Adam's getting straight As. He's trying really hard. You won't believe how cool X project was that he did or Y paper that he wrote.

So, now today it was Valentine's Day for the kids at school. My daughter received five carnations from Adam and a tiny little puppy that squeeks out with a tiny bark, "I love you!" Please understand his family's financial situation--this was everything he had or could possibly get. Ari was stunned, and she told him there was no need to apologize when he told her that he wanted to get her more but this was all he had. She was very, very touched.

When she came in with the carnations into the car, each one had a tag on it that said something along the same theme:

1) Come back!

2) SOS...come back!

3) I screwed up! Come back!

4) Please come back!

5) Please please come back (and then an arrow that shows she is to turn over the paper, and the back side says...) I really sound pathetic, don't I?

Awwww! He drew a picture of himself looking downcast on one of them, too. He's a good artist.

I asked Ari how all of this made her feel. "It feels GREAT!" she said, which was perhaps not quite the amount of empathy I wanted her to feel. But then she said that she was considering getting back together with him since all that bothered her about Adam was gone. And any guy who worships my daughter that much is welcome to a second chance without me beating him within an inch of his life, too!